My thoughts on my own sexuality, I have a crush

Hello! I wanted to talk a little about my sexuality. Hope it´s okay that I share my whole story I feel quite lost right now. I´m a girl and I might be attracted to other girls but I just rather be more attracted to guys. There´s a part of me who feel like things won´t be complete if I don´t end up having a relationship with a guy. I have till this day not been in a committed relationship. But I´ve had a couple of flings with a few guys. And I´ve been madly in love with two guys but as for this day we´re more like strangers. Now I´m asking myself if I may have a crush on one of my female friends even though she like to call herself a man. She plays a lot of videogames and got a little masculine energi. (she has a very cute sence of homour). She´s been one of my best friends during high school but it feels weird talking to her not being sure about how I feel for her. i´ve acctually told her that I "MIGHT" have some feelings for her. And it´s all quite strange because she´s been in a relationship for the past 1 and 1/2 year with another woman. I think I am like many others a sucker for those who I can´t have. The thing about my feelings for her is that I feel like it´s okay wether if we would end up together or not. Though with those two guys who I was madly in love with It felt horrible the thought of us not being together. So I am wondering why it isn´t like that with her? Though that can be due to I´ve matured.
So yeah I do find women very beautiful and do look at them. I feel like I am more interested in women and who they are. I usually often feel more connected to them. With men I usually se them as creatures. Mysterious creatures who sometimes is the missing puzzle piece like Yin and Yang.
Do I don´t really loook at them and say oh he´s so hot like I feel like some people do. It happens sometimes but not as often as it seems happening with my friends. Though it does happen more often with women. But at the same time I´m not really attracted to breasts though but they look nice XD
Well does are my thoughts. It´s kind of overwhelming to be pendling this much... So to this day I don´t label myself in any sexual orientation.
Does anyone relate to anything I´ve written? And thanks a lot to those who have read this far!
Lot´s of love

Everyone matures at different rates. It's true that most people experiment in high school, but that's not always the case. I dated mostly girls in high school but now prefer men over women because I realized that what I wanted could not be found in women.

However, my best friend who is the same age as me is now just starting to experiment with women and is telling me that she is having crushes on me, and we're both out of high school.

I would recommend you try looking for what you want in men and women and you would find that they are likely to be completely different.

It sounds to me that you are a wonderful person in touch with herself and in awe of all things human.

With that kind of mindset, I do not see how you might ever benefit from labeling yourself. What would be the purpose of such labeling?

You didn't say your age -- if you are still young you are just beginning to explore who you are. I really think that sexuality is a multitude of spectrums, not a bunch of false dichotomies. I'm straight but as a young person I had girl crushes while having a boyfriend too. Maybe you are a lesbian, or bi, or a curious and open hearted straight person. Does it matter? Nothing bad can come of just loving others imho.