Is this really what I'm feeling?

Hello, members of this forum. I am new here, and... I've come for help. Well, here's how I'll do this. I will just tell you what's up, and then a bit about me to help you better diagnose what you think it is, or if what I believe is actually what I believe. So, lets start...

Well, I've come to you because of what I believe to be GID. Its not that I have a problem with having it, but I'd like to get a sex change once I am of age. I do not crossdress, mainly because I'd prefer not yo get murdered by a mob of middle schoolers, nor could I handle all the criticism. I try my hardest to behave as a female would, but again the criticism demands that I stop. Recently, however, I have began to 'tuck' as they would say. Also known as making your testicles and 'shaft' almost nonvisible, mainly for drag queens and crossdressers, but I just like pretending its not there. Anyways, now to the background.

I am currently only thirteen years of age(Do not pull the 'I cant say stuff around you' crap, please. Chances are I've heard worse). I live with my mother, my stepdad, and my three brothers and my sister. My parents divorced 4-5 years ago, and that threw me into my very early stages of depression, but I wont cover that in this. I am slightly overweight, and MAJORLY insecure about everything concerning me. I've had my heart shattered by a lot of different guys and one girl, which leads to another point, being that I am pansexual. So thats there if you think any of that has caused these thoughts. But as for why I made this, I've been thinking I should have been/wanted to be a girl since I was about five. I only got to the point I wanted to consider carrying through with it last year and have been researching it ever since. My mother denies this and says its just 'Peer Pressure', which is (mind my language) ******** to me. I would never submit to peers. Anyways, I honestly do believe that it is what I want, what I was meant to be. I've wanted to crossdress for over three years now but I could never ask my mother if she'd go buy me some female clothes. I tried tucking once last year but couldn't do it, recently(As in a few days) however, I've mastered it comfortably and do not want to stop doing it. I hate looking down to see my.. Area.. Every day, because I hate having it there.

Thank you for any help you can provide!
I may have posted this in the wrong place, and if I did, I am deeply sorry.
And to answer my own title... Yes, this is what I want, what I am feeling. But I don't know if that's true, or if its just stress.. Just so confused!

Is there any way you can talk to your mom about seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in GID? Or seeing a therapist in general? There are hormone blockers that will prevent you from going through the bulk of male puberty. It is also reversible at any time and if you decided to stay a male you could simply stop taking them.

Do you live in an area that is not tolerant of lgbtq members?

Well, honestly, no. My mother, although helpful and supportive, refuses to accept that this is really me. She does not want me to go visit any psychologists because this is apparently her decision to make since I am her child. As for hormone blockers, that is WAAAYY out of the question. She'd probably just talk about how 'big of a decision I'm making at such a young age'. Even though there is some truth to that, I've had LOTS of time to think about it, and still have the years ahead of me to decide if I want to do it. She doesn't see that, however. I haven't asked her, but knowing my mom, she will more than likely disapprove. And as for the 'nontolerance' of LGBTQ members, the honest answer is yes. My entire school is VERY judgmental(Valley View Jr. High). Supposedly the 'best school', and that's just a lie. By 'best' they mean the one filled with the most stuck-up rich christian kids that like to rub everything in your face. A lot of people in my town wouldn't necessarily enjoy a new 'T' around. And the criticism I'd get from even stepping outside would be almost impossible for me to handle.
I mean, I can take a lot, but that's where I'm hit deep. It doesn't help my already Earth's-core low, so I try to avoid anything that will make others want to make fun of me. It's not that society sways me, its that my own mind does. It tells me that it's wrong for me to do because I'll just get hurt and bullied and criticized, which I don't want.

"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."

~Robert Frost

I appreciate all your help, and a bit more would be much obliged. I feel a bit as if my post is being ignored, but I really need help! Although, my problems are rather minor compared to others... So I guess I understand.

"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."

~Robert Frost