What should I do about my Zoophilia?

I've recently discovered that I'm a Zoophile, and it's been stressing me out tremendously. I feel extremely guilty for fantasizing about animals, and it doesn't help much that when I offhandedly mentioned Zoophilia to my mother she said that "people who perform bestiality are sick, twisted human beings that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce." Can Zoophilia really be THAT wrong? Am I messed up in the head? And how should I get help, without revealing the fact that I'm a Zoophile? Is there even help for people like me?

Before anyone asks: No, I've never had sex with an animal, although sometimes it had been tempting. I've only fantasized about sex with animals, so far.

A sex counselor could probably help you sort through all of your feelings. You're not some sick and twisted person, but you certainly sound confused by your fantasies.

The real problem with zoophilia lies in consent. Even though the Basset hound down the street grabbed your leg and went to town, he can't actually give consent. Much like someone who is heavily intoxicated. In any sexual relationship, consent is extremely important and animals just don't have the intelligence or communication skills to be able to give that consent.

The more porn i was watching the more kinkier and different porn i wanted, and than i found zoophilian videos, oh it turned me on so much. I knew it was wrong, and same as you i never did it, althought somethimes was a bit tempted but i just couldnt let my self do anything like that, so i just try to push myself away from it, and whenever i have a fantasie about it or something i just tell myself. NO dont do that, its wrong, and just try to change my fantasies to something ells.

I reckon stuff like this is more common than we ever hear about; perhaps the appeal of it comes from the taboo or novelty of it, as causes appeal in other areas too. I think I did once hear about a study where women were tested and they got pretty turned on my other primates doing the do as well as humans... there's probably a part of the brain that just associates sex, however it happens, with... well... sex. To me, it sounds like you were getting a bit bored of normal porn and it just escalated... with each thing that didn't satisfy you enough, you've found something else a level up, and this is something naughty and exciting?

There's a difference between zoophilia and bestiality though... a big difference. The difference is the mind- any person can be screwed up in the head to such a degree that they perform bad acts, not just on animals but on anybody. The difference is the personality of the person, not the direction of the attraction.

Out of interest, where do you stand in terms of humans dressing up as animals or with animal traits? (If it makes you feel any better, I expect that is, to some degree, a form of zoophilia and one we hear more about).

Since you mentioned porn, was you asking that to me? If yes than here is my answer.

Yes you are right, i did get boored of ordinary porn so i ended up with zoo videos, they was something new and exiting. Every time i watch them i feel that my heart beats in a nervous way.

About the dressing up, if you meant as dressing up as animals to have "animal" sex, than its not my thing.

What is the difference between zoophilia and bestiality?

And to be honest, i cant really say that its the animals that turn me on,(im gay) its more the excitement when man is having sex with a animal, that its forbidden, out of the ordinary. Like i've been turned on even by seeing a video where man have a sex with cars tailpipe. I guess i have some kinda of fetish.

But than again , im only 22 years old now and im a bit scared that when ill get around my 40-50s i might do some weird stuff.

Well, I had planned a long post on all my points, but...lol Pandoren nailed it perfectly.

Honestly OP, I'd say as long as you don't cross the line between fantasy and reality, don't worry so much about it. It would help if you could gradually distance yourself from it if it's something you absolutely want nothing to do with...and perhaps a sex counselor could help you understand why you feel this way. But as for the mere fantasy of it, I wouldn't be so concerned.

Sanchez, my understanding between the two is that zoophilia (-philia being the Greek suffix for love, zoo obviously being animal) denotes a necessary love for the animal, almost being like a sort of relationship-esque thing. I've heard of some people who identify as zoophiles but lack any sexual attraction toward the animal...I'm not sure if that's pertinent to the differentiation or if it's a misunderstanding of the word on their part or my own, but the key point is the love. Bestiality, on the other hand, is just sex with animals.

To be fair, I suppose if you looked only at the etymology of both words (and connotations), zoophilia doesn't necessarily have to involve bestiality. But I'm rambling at this point. Point is, there is a difference, as Pandoren noted.

If I technologically manage, I'll send you PM.

Right it says I must have 3 posts or above to do that PM, and I am not going to spam the nice people of this forum just for that. So let's see if this can pass moderation:

Hi, I am a zoophile too but no mental health professional.

I have found your post on zoophilia by accident via a search engine. I made an account just to PM you, but - yeah, as said...

First of all, what is zoophilia? As people said in the thread, there is a continuum and many words go haywire, as even science ignores the topic a lot. But there's crazy catladies, there's people who simply substituted a human spouse with an animal spouse, there's people who just want the sex, there's abusers, there's people who kill animals b/c they'd prefer a human to kill, but that gives you time in jail. Then sideways from that there's furries, and ponyplayers etc. etc. etc. It is unfathomable much.

I'd say the best description for zoophilia is to want relationships with animals. - Adjusted; you'll hardly go to the movies with a mare, but still.

So if you were just turned on by the pornography on the internet, don't worry much. I would guess half of all men can wank to it in private, actually (and more women than will ever admit).

If you think you are a zoophile as in you would like relations with animals, I have some suggestions.

The first is: Don't tell anyone IRL. The potential for disaster is sadly too big. Not even your relatives. There have been cases where goodminded people called in some help then for their children, who were carted off by 'helpful' professionals into mental institutions and similar for years. It's just the -how to say- complex interaction of taboo, confusion, people's gutfeelings, honest intention to help, mixed with "somehow that's like pedophilia" etc etc. Just don't tell anyone for now IRL. If you need coping strategies, then say you are a homosexual, but your family would cast you out if they knew. The advice given to such people is largely 1:1 transferable.

And the other thing is: In my view zoophilia is a real sexual orientation (personal opinion). If you full on have it, you can't be cured. Just as a heterosexual cannot be 'truely' turned into a homosexual, or vice versa. Can't be done. They can pretend, but not truely become the other.

An now for the part that worries me with moderation -but they used these words already up there, right-: Say (hypothetically) you would have consensual sex with your mare in private. Who got hurt? Any damage to anyone? Is that different or worse than artificial insemination or killing the animal for eating it? Because that's done, too, right?

I just wanted to suggest that maybe there isn't anything horrendously wrong with you, as a devil's advocate kind of. Maybe the abrahamitic religions kinda just instilled what they saw fit into society's conscious, and there we are today where we are.

Those are really just supposed to be prompts for some thinking. Sure, arguments of consent have been brought up already etc, but I suggest to analyze them, instead of taking it at face value on the spot in the spirit of debating the issue completely for you by yourself. To support this scrutiny of the other side, I wanted to suggest to have a look into zoophilesforum.com . It's a nice crowd there, and you can look up the discussions on consent e.g. and see which arguments make sense and which don't (there's the same infighting there as anywhere else, so it's not a completely biased proposition). Making this as your intro post should bring in some good advice from people who live with it.

All I can tell you: If you were born a zoophile, it may be a tremendous struggle to keep a 'normal family' all your life. And society will keep roasting issues under your nails. However, some people manage quite nicely. Some others implode or explode. Before that happens, as I said, go get some coping strategies. But I recommend not to reveal to anyone IRL that you are a zoophile from long experience. Tell your mother you were joking. And since I think a 'cure' would be a strenuous experience, don't take it lightly when you are painted into a corner. Have a look at the other side, see for yourself in which configuration you could life. E.g. as you said be one, suppress acting it out, but don't take the blame of unrelated bestial horse rippers onto you.

Sorry for the spelling mistakes and I am back to my own corner of the internet,
AgermanDude

Yeah, as far as I personally differentiate, zoophilia is the attraction, bestiality is the act. The first is not a choice, but the second is. Not all people with zoophilia commit bestiality. Probably not all people who commit bestiality are even zoophiles- it could be about dominance, sadism or about desperation and lack of options...

As I think we've come to the consensus between us, it's not really about the animals, it is about your own sexual boredom and the need to find something exciting, which I guess would probably be something explored with a partner if you had one. I'm not really an expert on sex advice or how to combat this rising cycle of need but as others have said, a sex therapist might be able to help. As Sanchez suggested, if this is really bothering you, I know it will probably be hard, but if you can try to distance yourself from those sites and those ideas and try to divert your attentions to something else...

Ok, I can't PM with less than 3 posts. And moderation decided my post was rubbish. - to which I actually agree, b/c it was late at night and I've got to work in the waking hours.

Anyway. I am a zoophile, too. If you want PM me, Lone_Pyromancer, I may have some useful info.

I don't think you are messed up since you aren't harming anybody.
I believe in the "distress/harm doctrine", as I have come to call it: If it's causing you distress and/or it's harming others, there is a problem.
I myself am plushophiliac, which is considered by some a branch of zoophilia, but for others it is a totally distinct thing. At first I was distressed a little by the act itself, but I have come to accept it more, and the only thing that bothers me is how people view it.
You mentioned how you felt tempted to act on this fantasy, which wouldn't be a good idea considering you can get caught red handed. You seem to be a sensitive person and not someone who wants to harm others. If you feel really bothered by this, consult a therapist.

I enjoy watching zoophilia....

i agree that viewing zoophilia can come from looking for something "different" from common interests....i enjoy watching...

Lone Pyromancer: I have fantasized about having sex with many women, but I have remained faithful to my wife, at least in what I do if not what I think about. I have fantasized about my wife joining me in my fetishes. I have fantasized about sharing my fetishes with women other than my wife. I have fantasized about being locked in a department store and trying on every pair of panties I can find. I have fantasized about cross-dressing and walking down the street on a warm, spring day and letting the wind blow up my skirt.

Despite all of that fantasizing, I've been fully employed throughout my life. I've won awards, had my writing published, helped raise a child, been in combat, and had people depend on me in many ways. In short, I am not my fantasies, and you are not your fantasies. But my fantasies help me get through the days, and they can help you too as long as you recognize that they are a small but important part of your identity.

Other

I guess the prohibited is more appealing...i found myself drawn to watching zoo, women with male animals too....

To Pyro:

A agree with AgermanDude on lots of points. I'm knowledgeable about the definitions and practices and I've been fascinated with beastie erotic stories and porn for 17 years.

Deciding on what your boundaries are, or will be, is important.

Does your guilt or negative judgments about zoo sex come from a religious perspective? Those perspectives seem more deeply rooted and less flexible for people to change, in my opinion.

Mother culture is pretty strong though, and religion is not the only machine that draws lines in people's lives.

Personally, I've become frustrated with my zoo/beast fetish because it has been a lonely road for me, especially since my craving is to be an assistant or companion to a female zoophile. Most of them online seem to be already married and on their kink journeys.

Other than being lonely and unfilled by having non-zoo girlfriends, I've been able to feel at peace with my fetish.

OP, please take care who you communicate to with this. It sounds more like you need a therapist as you seem to be distressed by it.