Worried She Will think I am Ugly

I'm worried that my GF will find me unattractive once we are more intimate with each other, and although I wouldn't describe myself as 'overweight', I am definitely out of shape . When I saw my doctor about this, he said after he weighed me and recorded my height that I am the “ideal” weight for my age, sex, and height, but I still don't think I look good without a shirt on .

However, I can't be sure if these are legitimate concerns I have, or if my bodily insecurities, which I had before my relationship, are showing themselves. Moreover, I know little about what women find attractive and what they want in a man, hence I have come to PC to seek answers about this.

What I am afraid of is that my GF won't find me attractive because I am too out of shape or unattractive when shirtless . She has seen me without my shirt on and hasn't indicated she finds me unattractive, but whenever I look in the mirror, I feel like, “Ugh, look at how ugly I am.”

What do women find attractive in their male partners? What is an acceptable appearance? What role does weight have in a relationship? Can personal attributes make up for physical attraction?

Thank you

You're going to get some varied answers to this. Hint: women aren't all the same Another one: she may be having the same doubts about herself
I wouldn't sweat it but you are so I hope some of the answers you get are reassuring.

Hi
Like George said opinions differ,but I believe most woman find it attractive when they see themselves in man's eye,when they feel man wanting to posses not only their body but brain and soul .physical qualities are good but superficial and have short shelf life without above qualities .do not doubt yourself and she will not either . Have fun,listen to her needs and you might just have very devoted partner

Good luck

I have the same issues and thoughts myself (I'm female, by the way, in case that matters). I feel like I have an attractive face and hair, but an ugly body. So someone could be attracted to me with clothes on but not without them. I also worry about my weight. People tell me I'm skinny enough, but to me, you aren't skinny unless you're the size of a model. So I feel like I need to lose several more sizes, somehow lose all the scars on my body, somehow get rid of the acne on my chest etc. I don't know how to get over it or how it's fair on whoever is intimate with me (if that ever happens).

Maybe the first time can be in the dark and/or partially clothed?

And what I find attractive about male partners is mainly personality. Although, I do have a stronger preference for little to no body hair and generally boyish in overall looks (I think I'm in the minority on that one though). I do find that my preferences are more lenient when I have an emotional connection to someone though.

How intimate have you been so far?

IMO I like a man a little on the husky side.... I'm sure u will be fine GL

I don't know how athletic you might be, but actually getting to "looking good without a shirt on" can take an insane amount of work for us less gifted people. I'm guessing that no matter what you're not going to look like a Chippendale's dancer. As an example, the best I ever looked took 2 hours of heavy weight training 6 days a week, prohormones, nitrous oxide, tribulus and other supplements ... some of which have been made illegal since then.

If you're the ideal weight for your age, etc. Don't worry about it, you look better with your shirt off than probably 80% of the men out there.

Different strokes for different folks.

I think your girlfriend would probably have found a way to say something by now if she was concerned. I mean she's still with you isn't she? She can't exactly find you repulsive.

You don't say whether it's you who's withholding more intimate moments with her or whether you've noticed a change in her attitudes towards you. You also don't mention your age range - if you're both still virgins or you're each others first serious partners then these things can take a while to come about and feel comfortable with - don't rush things.

If you're out of shape there are things you can do you've just got to keep level headed about it. Improving muscle tone and general fitness levels are also likely to improve your self esteem.

Just to reassure you, as a woman i don't like overly muscly men. I much prefer them in a more natural state. For me, if someone likes themselves and strives for good health...s'all good

We're both virgins. She is 26 years old and I am 22 years old.

Neither of us are withholding having sex, rather we have both agreed that the circumstances aren't ideal for that to happen, if that makes sense. Nothing she has said or done has made me think she is dissatisfied.

We still have the issue of birth control (she has some medical issues she needs to talk to her specialists about first), and because of how far we live from each other, it makes it harder to arrange times to visit each other. Unfortunately, at this stage, it is still mostly a long-distance relationship.

She says once she is able to find full-time work and a place of her own, it will be easier for us to visit and have sex, and until I find full-time work, it is hard for me to afford the transportation to see her.

But when I look in the mirror, I think, “Ugh. What if she doesn't find me attractive?” Of course she has seen me with my shirt off before, it still makes me nervous that I am too out of shape to be attractive, and I really want this relationship to work!

Living a healthier life is definitely something I am working towards, but when it comes to exercise, it is a challenge to find something that I like to do. If there is one thing I hate, it is the dull, boring, and uncomfortable exercise activities like lifting weights or doing push-ups. I find it hard to commit to an exercise routine that I don't like doing – I've been down that road before!

Instead what I would like to do is join an indoor soccer league in the city! It will definitely help me to be active, I like soccer, and it won't be as boring or tedious as using a treadmill. Sadly, it is kind of expensive to afford indoor soccer here, and I don't have much of a choice with the cost because the winters here are LONG and COLD (like -40˚F this week). Once I am working and can afford it, it is something I would like to do, but for now I haven't found anything I can afford and will like doing.

Well, as some people stated here, not all women are the same.
Just because they are portrayed in hollywood movies as these demanding tyrants doesn't mean they are like that in real life. We also have some male sexual tyrants, but we are focusing on your relationship now.
Well, what do you think? In my opinion, people should know what they want in a partner in order for things like the scenarios in your anxieties not to happen.
But hey, it hasn't happened, and not all fears become a reality

This is normal to worry about how you look on the beginning stages of a relationship. I still worry about how I look with my boyfriend, especially since I've put some additional weight on recently. Just remember intimacy is about much more than appearance and I'm sure she will appreciate how you look because it's you.

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