[forever_alone]

Not long ago, I suspect I have a fear of intimacy. I have not been in a relationship for 5+ years now and the reason, or excuse rather, is that I am happily single and that I don't want to put up with a relationship. I'm not afraid to touch women, I am just afraid of how they'll respond, and negatively is what I always expect.

Let's go back to my first girlfriend. We had a lot of intimate moments. Although we never communicated or even had eye contact (she was my first and I barely spoke to her), we held hands, cuddle, and would end the night with some tongue action.

Second girlfriend I had was very intense in terms of sexual activities. We would play with each other's body but never had intercourse. She would give me hand action, but I never ejaculated no matter how long she would go. The time I wanted intercourse with her, she stopped me half way. I never thought of anything at the time, never blamed her nor myself nor questioned anybody. But couple years after we broke up, I found out that uncircumcised men are supposed to retract their foreskin before having sex. Maybe that's why she stopped me, because she knew and didn't want to confront me.

There onwards, I have had oral sex with random girls, but never once did I ejaculate. My friend paid for a masseuse for me and she offered me full service. I took an oral service and she went on for almost 45 minutes because I couldn't ejaculate. Eventually, I just did it myself and ejaculated on her breasts. Best experience ever because she treated me like a king.

Another masseuse I went to after offered full service, but this time the experience was horrible. I finally had intercourse for the first time, but never finish. She rushed me to finish so I pulled out and tried to jerk it, but had given up because she was rushing me.

I got a girlfriend later on, and we cuddle on some nights. There was this one night where her parents flew out of town and I promised we would have sex. It felt like I was rushing in because I never knew this girl. I gave her the oral of her life and when it was her turn, it was very good. It resulted in me not having a hard on when I had to put it in and I just gave up. She didn't think anything of it and was attached to me like glue throughout the months after. I broke up with her because she was too controlling, but I think subconsciously, she was not delivering in bed.

From then til now, I have never had any sexual intimacy with anyone now and it's been 5+ years. Every time I come close to having sex with a girl, I just can't perform very well. But lately, I've been feeling this urge to go to the full service providers. I feel like I can just take a girl and dominate her and give her a full load.

I'm 28 now and the thought of unable to even finish in bed is driving me crazy. Do you think a successful sexual experience will cure me from being afraid of intimacy? I'm even scared to talk to girls sometimes because 1) I don't know what to say and 2) I tend to think deeper and deeper every time I see a girl I want to talk to and then knowing I can't climax in sex, I don't even bother to talk to her.

I feel like I just need this one (or several) try to practice my sexual capabilities. I feel like this will boost my confidence and manhood up. Need some advice.

[Angel of Bedlam]

I don't know. I think maybe creating a comfortable relationship with someone in which you feel free to explore sexually. I don't think you need to pay for sex, just need to find someone who makes exploring those things less tense.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[vans1974]

I agree with Angel, also you might want to take amino Acetyl L-Carnitine-it helps with ejaculation! Best of luck!!