[Mike_J]

Would you break up with someone if you found out they had "gender reassignment surgery"?

To me it would be an emotional hurdle to get over but I would like to think I would be OK with it after the initial shock.

Assuming I was dating (I never have) if I discovered that I wouldn't continue with the relationship.

[Wysteria]

This was a much harder question than I thought at first...
I'm female...and would absolutely support/nurture/assist my boyfriend in being all that he/she could be...

But at one point, I have to also choose for myself whether I want to be in a relationship with a woman. I don't know if I'd be as attracted or change myself that much. I know I would still love my friend with some strong love, but whether I wanted to continue in a sexual relationship would take a lot of time and self-analysis. I support the boyfriend completely in his decision, but then she would have to also support me in my decision for what is best for me.

It depends on the person, the relationship, the timing, the age, how they change during the process...
lots of variables for such a simple yes/no question.

WB

[growlithing]

If he doesn't have a penis, we won't be able to work out. I support anyone's decision to live as the gender they are inside, and I wish that I could overlook genitals. But I can't. I refuse to be intimate with a vagina or anyone that has one.

However, if he had surgery to become anatomically male, I wouldn't care what he was born with. Unfortunately, I don't think that surgery exists yet. I know they can have their breasts removed but to my knowledge, I don't think that FtM genital surgery is a thing yet.

[hamster-bamster]

I do not think in such abstract terms. I know a woman who used to be a man, but not the reverse. Since I cannot even picture what the question is about, I will defer thinking about it until and unless such reality presents itself as something relevant to me, and then I will see what my thoughts, reactions, and choices are. I think, also, that the likelihood of it happening is small, so actually thinking about it would be wasteful of my time.

Mike, since this question is not relevant to you now in practical terms, I think that the essential question you really are asking yourself is how flexible and accepting you are. It sounds like you would like to think of yourself as open-minded, but are a bit worried whether this ideal would sustain reality testing. Further, it sounds like you think that in the end you would be able to live up to the standards you set for yourself, but only after the initial shock wears off. Is this more or less where you stand?

[TheOriginalMe]

I can't honestly say. If I met someone who'd already had surgery and they were open about it I would certainly respect them and explore my own attitudes more closely. TBH I don't ever see myself in a sexual relationship so it is purely hypothetical. The barriers to my having a relationship with anyone are far higher than any posed by gender whether given by nature or reassigned by the surgeon.

Originally Posted by Mike_J

Would you break up with someone if you found out they had "gender reassignment surgery"?

To me it would be an emotional hurdle to get over but I would like to think I would be OK with it after the initial shock.

Can you clarify that? Do you mean for instance if I was dating a woman and found out later that she was born a man?
A lot of my reaction would depend on how I found out. Honestly though that would be such a complicated situation that I'm not sure what I'd do or how I'd feel. We'd all like to think that we would react in a way that reflects our ideals but when the theoretical becomes reality who can say?

[DoggieDad]

As a FTM transsexual, some of the posts in this thread sadden me deeply. I won't call anyone out specifically, but please realize that much of our prejudice comes out of ignorance (not an insult-we are all ignorant in different ways). At least in this case I hope so, as I would hate to think that anyone is trying to inflict pain.

[RTerroni]

Probably not since I would probably cease to be Heterosexual IMO.

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Probably not since I would probably cease to be Heterosexual IMO.

That's an interesting point. Brings up the question of what exactly is heterosexuality other than the obvious biological aspects. I think it's been established that sexuality in terms of procreation is basically ruled by chemicals and the instinct to perpetuate the species. After that... who knows. If robots/androids were perfected to a point that surgery or imaging machines would be required tell distinguish a human from a machine there would be questions like yours. If there was an android in female form that you were attracted to and a relationship developed... would that mean you were no longer heterosexual? I wonder.

[ididwhat?]

I could never *boom* break up with someone I loved for any reason. I'd need to come to an understanding of things for myself which means I'd wanna talk about it... figure it out. I wouldn't be like "Oh crap. Sex change? That's it. I'm out." Not at all. I'd be more like, "I love you baby. Let's talk." At least, I think I'd be like that... or I'd like to think I'd be like that...

[growlycat]

A complicated question!! It depends on the circumstance for me I guess.

*I would hope that this would come up earlier in the relationship not later…I value honesty in my relationships.

*If it were a male-to-female transition, I would be supportive but might find it hard to stay in a romantic relationship

*If I was dating a formerly female person who was now male, it would be a shock, but there might be a possibility of adjusting. But if no below the belt work had been done, I might have a harder time accepting/adjusting

*If I were madly deeply in love, its a free-for-all---anything is possible

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by George H.

That's an interesting point. Brings up the question of what exactly is heterosexuality other than the obvious biological aspects. I think it's been established that sexuality in terms of procreation is basically ruled by chemicals and the instinct to perpetuate the species. After that... who knows. If robots/androids were perfected to a point that surgery or imaging machines would be required tell distinguish a human from a machine there would be questions like yours. If there was an android in female form that you were attracted to and a relationship developed... would that mean you were no longer heterosexual? I wonder.

Well typically as I see it Heterosexuality means that you are attracted to the opposite sex and I usually take that to mean biologically, so if someone is Trans-gender than they aren't biologically the opposite sex to them.

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Well typically as I see it Heterosexuality means that you are attracted to the opposite sex and I usually take that to mean biologically, so if someone is Trans-gender than they aren't biologically the opposite sex to them.

But except for the procreation aspect, they are essentially the opposite sex. It becomes less about biology and more about personal views. Anyway that's getting off topic I think. I was just curious from a philosophical perspective. Thanks

I would end the relationship as I would need someone of the opposite sex (biologically) in order to have children.

Sent using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by George H.

But except for the procreation aspect, they are essentially the opposite sex. It becomes less about biology and more about personal views. Anyway that's getting off topic I think. I was just curious from a philosophical perspective. Thanks

They still have the XY chromosomes and the internal organs of a male. Unless they find a way to change that as well as the outward appearance then there's no such thing as gender reassignment. Any man who has sex with a M to F transsexual is having sex with another man. That may sound harsh, it may seem blunt and perhaps offend some. but It's my belief and I stand by it.

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

They still have the XY chromosomes and the internal organs of a male. Unless they find a way to change that as well as the outward appearance then there's no such thing as gender reassignment. Any man who has sex with a M to F transsexual is having sex with another man. That may sound harsh, it may seem blunt and perhaps offend some. but It's my belief and I stand by it.

That part pretty much falls under the procreation part of it for this discussion wouldn't you say?

Well... as an untransitioned MtF transsexual I hope I would feel as though it didn't matter. I don't think it would. But there are certainly other factors that could influence this. It's an interesting question to ponder given my personal situation.

[Mike_J]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Mike, since this question is not relevant to you now in practical terms, I think that the essential question you really are asking yourself is how flexible and accepting you are. It sounds like you would like to think of yourself as open-minded, but are a bit worried whether this ideal would sustain reality testing. Further, it sounds like you think that in the end you would be able to live up to the standards you set for yourself, but only after the initial shock wears off. Is this more or less where you stand?

It real life this isn't a situation that I'm in, or one that I'm ever likely to be in. And you are right I would like to think of myself as being very open minded about things, but you never really know how you will react to a situation until you are faced with it.

And to everyone let me say that I'm sorry to anyone who has been offended by the topic of this thread, or to any of the comments made by myself or others. It was never my intention to offend others or provide an opportunity for others to do so.

[Yogurtz]

As a male if I found out my current GF had gender reassignment surgery, it wouldn't be an issue to me; she would still be the beautiful, amazing person that I love

[Travelinglady]

I would have had a problem earlier, because I wanted children with my man. And wouldn't want him to change into a woman.

But, now it wouldn't matter so much. (Of course, I have a hubby of long-standing! I would be surprised if he decided now to change, but I would be okay with it, I think.)

Personally I found this post to be most interesting. Thanks, Mike, for putting it up! I'd just like to add something here, again, as an untransitioned MtF transgendered person. And, perhaps this perspective comes from the fact that I never did transition. I know this perspective won't be popular with trans women as a whole.

I accept the current theory that transsexuality is a condition brought on by hormonal errors that occur in the fetal development process. At least this is the current thinking. So I accept it until such time as a better theory comes along. As such, the brain & the body do not match. We cannot change the brain, so instead we change the body.

There is no question with regard to the fact that genetically, trans women still carry the XY chromosomes. But, to me, this is not really relevant to my perspective. It is a given. What transition is about is bringing the body in line with the brain. So, yes, were I to transition, I would be a genetic male who had brought my body into line with my brain. To me, this does not make me truly a woman. It makes me a male who has had his body altered to appear as female as possible. This is essential since it is the only known treatment available for transsexuality. And being transsexual can be a death sentence if it is not treated.

But I don't think we should fool ourselves that a male who has taken female hormones & had surgeries becomes a true woman. She is a genetic male who is transsexual & who has undergone treatment for this potentially deadly condition. As such, while I hope I would not judge her for having done so, I would equally hope that she would have disclosed her status early on in our relationship. I think it would be important to have it be out in the open as early in the relationship as possible.

[Skywoulf]

we are all the sum of our experiences and our past. that being said who we are is not always who we were. this applies to everyone no matter their gender or preferences. speaking purely for my self if I were dating a woman and found out she used to be a man, I seriously would have no problem with that (providing of course I found out by her telling me and not finding out from other means. shows she is not hiding anything.) as for a pre op woman, it would largely depend on the person, and the relationship. I personally feel that if two people cared enough about each other accommodations can be made to the mutual support of both parties what accommodations get made again depends on the couple, and their relationship. I am a straight heterosexual male, and I have met someone who is a transsexual. pre op, or post op, I don't know, and at this point in time I really don't need to know. and because I do have a somewhat romantic view of her it wouldn't matter because accommodations could and would be made.

[Sinking Feeling]

While I consider myself heterosexual, I'm far from homophobic. I keep an open mind and believe if two people love each other, sexual orientation is not important. Love is all you need, and regardless of what sexual orientation you are, if you have love, you are way ahead of the game