Cross Dresser Husband

First of all thanks for reading! My husband and I have been married six years now. Two years ago my husband told me he was bi-sexual. At first I had a difficult time accepting this but quickly accepted that what he was sexually interested in was no problem as long as I was included and no secrets kept. Soon after telling me this he also told me he likes swinging and wanted me to be involved in that life style. Ofcourse we discussed jealousy issues and the strange feelings of having sex with a different partner. Again I accepted and we have had only one interaction since then. Four months ago I went out of town for 3 days. When I returned he showed me some pictures of him dressed up and was terrified I would leave him. I didnt and told him I accepted him for who he wanted to be and I love him no matter who that is. He has no interest in a sex change operation, just likes to put on prosthetic breasts, makeup and women's clothes. He has now become comfortable enough to meet with other CD swingers and have some fun. He has met one individual of interest and wants to meet this person alone first to make sure they are comfortable before bringing me into the picture. I feel as though if he has intercourse without me there it is cheating. I also would feel awkward when I am allowed to participate since there will already be something established between them that I dont know about. My husband swears he is not interested at all in men and does not find them attractive, but I still feel like a third wheel. I also can not get over the fact he waited to tell me 6 years after our marriage. I do have to mention my husband decided a year ago that we were not compatible, and we separated fora bout a month and a half. He finally decided that wasnt what he wanted but I still hold some hard feelings from them because he literally broke my heart and I guess my trust as well. We have discussed all of this at length and he stands beside his statement that he only loves me but I am a little lost in how I feel at this point. Can anyone help? I feel a little better getting out but now re-reading this, I am even more confused. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I am glad that you feel a little better just getting this out and talking about it. Please continue to talk and let others listen. Sometimes that is all we can do.

As for the relationship..... Are your needs being meet, are you semi happy, are there children involved. It sounds like this is something you can live with, it may not be optimal, but it does sound doable in your case.

Trust and heart ache is hard to over come. It takes a lot of time. A LOT. I would seek marriage T, maybe with some one who is accepting of that kind of thing. Just keep working n things, nad continue to keep the lines of communication open.

Ok... I'm going throw this out to you because it's what first popped into my mind when I was done reading your post. It's just my intuitive reaction... and nothing more.

I think that sometimes people get very confused because their intuition is in conflict with their rational, conscious thoughts. I mean, what we feel is in conflict with what we think... Does that make any sense to you at all?

I don't know, but I think there are times when we know in our hearts what we truly want but are afraid to listen to that part of ourself. Usually what happens is when we experience a brief moment of clarity and are able to understand what our heart is telling us, our thinking self, our ego, jumps in and confuses the issues. It throws up a smoke-screen of reasons why we should or should not take actiion in one way or another. Our thoughts create all sorts of fears and uncertainty and confusion... In the meantime, our intuition is quietly standing by in the background, whispering to us that it knows what we want to do and what's in our own best interest. But, usually it isn't heard over the shouting that our thoughts are doing...It's shouting so many things at us all at the same time that we don't know WHAT to do or who to listen to. Yeah. It can be pretty darned confusing, upsetting, scary and disorienting...
For most people it can be very difficult to quite all of the thoughts that are shouting into our mind long enough to hear what our heart is telling us. But, it CAN be done!

That's where I would seek the answers to the questions you're asking yourself... if you're able.

Anyway, thet there's the impression that done popped into my noggin... for what it's worth.

Dan

Thanks to both of you. No there are no children involved and I wanted to seek advice before we make that decision. I feel it is something I can live with, its just as you said, confusing. We constantly talk about it and share how we feel. I think he is starting to see how I feel and understand. He has a hard time understanding how someone would be happy sexually with just one person, and though our path is a difficult one, I will continue to believe in what we have and working on how to bring us closer. Thanks again.

Wow, what a cool person you are, accepting your husband unconditionally! Maybe he was struggling with what he thought were going to be unacceptable thoughts and wanted to separate because in his mind, there was no one that could accept and love him the way he really is.
We all have "taboo" thoughts that we wish we could live out, but seem too out there to be accepted by our loved ones, very few people share there true self with others. It says a lot about you that you understand and accept his human uniqueness. Maybe there is a secret thought or desire you can include him in... Cross dressing, while foreign to me, everyone wants to feel sexy and desired!

I will continue to believe in what we have and working on how to bring us closer.

Do you really believe in it though? It's almost like you are trying to convince yourself, but perhaps I read too much into your posts.

Your husband told you that he is bisexual and not at all interested in men. What exactly does that mean?