Adult Son's Panty Fetish

I need female/motherly advice only!!

A few months ago, I showed up to my 24 year old son's apartment. He wasn't expecting me. I opened the door to a big suitcase filled with bras, thongs, and panties. There were even pantyliners and maxi pads (new) there. They're different styles, sizes, and have all been worn. He told me he stole them from the apartment's laundry room. I bagged them up, took them home, and threw them out. I didn't count, but there had to be at least 100 pairs. I was shocked. And I embarrassed him because I didn't know how to react.

Not much else was said. I asked my sister, and she told me about "Panty Raids" and that he probably masturbated in them. He also hasn't had a girlfriend since High School, and that only lasted 1-2 months.

Howver, since then he's been living at home and I have caught him more than a dozen times, red handed, rifling through my underwear draw. He denied it every time, even though HE KNOWS I SAW HIM. I’ve also been noticing some of my kotex pads missing, too.
He takes from his younger sister's, 22 years old, too. We've both been noticing missing panties for well over 6 or 7 years now (she's a XS/S and I'm a M - for what it's worth, my son is very very slim), but never thought too much about it until now. My daughter over the last 2 years now takes ALL of her underwear back to graduate school with her, now I see why.
I guess the most relieving bit is that it always seems to be clean panties he takes. Thank god for that, I guess.

I think he's been doing this since he was a young teen!

I don't care that he has a panty fetish. What I do care is that he stole hundreds of pairs from an apartment laundry facility, and is going through mine and his sisters' undies.

How would you have reacted initially? How would you react if you saw your teen or adult son going through YOUR underwear? What do I do now?!

Thanks.

I am not sure what my initial reaction to this would be. I have teen age sons by the way. I won't tell u what size undies I wear because it would not surprise you that no one wants mine. But what would I say to them after the fact, if this were something they were doing....... hummmm, maybe "go to a store and buy some, they have plenty to choose from. You can take your pick." Another thing I might would say is " Please know I still love you (first and foremost) but please stop taking my undies and your sister's undies." I'd be sure to explain about others privacy, you don't go threw his undies, socks, clothes, drawers, books, sheets, anything f his and you would appreciate it if he not go threw your things or anyone elses things in your household.

Would mentioning the things that can be picked up from getting wrong undies from the wrong girl be a way to deter him from taking them from odd places. Lice, there is boungd to be a STD or two that can be contracted that way. If not think up some other skin illnesses that can occur from that. Lice,bacterial infections, strep B, scabies, yeast infections (men do get those to) just to name a couple.

I am sorry you are having to go threw this. Your son is lucky to have a good mom like you who loves him regardless of what he likes. That is very important. Hopefull he will out grow this soon.

Help your son come to terms with who he is.

Then he'll be able to walk into the women's department and buy whatever it is his heart desires instead of feeling a need to sneak around and steal it.

GLAAD: Leading the conversation for LGBT equality | GLAAD

PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays

Those are two excellent resources to help parents of children who are wrestling with gender identity.

I wish you both the best!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

He is 24. An adult. This is not your problem, responsibility or business. Except maybe if he still steals your stuff. Then you can choose to confront him and ask him to stop stealing your stuff.

Ok... I have NO advice for you... And I'm a guy... So go ahead and yell at me for posting something here if you'd like, but there is a consideration that I'd like to share with you that you may not have taken into account.

It's not just the panties that are the source of arousal for him. It's the fact that a flesh and blood, living woman had worn them against her skin... a womans skin that is located in her most intimate of places...

I'm not sure that merely buying new panties at the store would hold the same fascination and potential for arousal for him... since they've never been worn...

Just a thought... from a guys perspective.

Dan

If you were to replace some of the ones you threw away, not only would it remove the need to steal yours, but I think it would also serve as a great ice breaker and be a tremendous relief to both of you.