Cannot Masturbate Properly

So I'm worried I've got a psychological condition thanks to being raised in a strict Mormon family. When I was 14 or so my mom found my "stash" of lingerie mags and I got in huge trouble. My mother is one of those people who cannot tolerate anything even remotely sexual, in any situation, and my dad isn't much better. My parents and "church leaders" kept asking me very grimly if I "touched myself" -- I obviously lied and said no since it was such a big "sin."

Religion has done nothing but harm in my life. I'm now 29 and a decided Atheist. I firmly believe that masturbation is normal and healthy. But it's like I was emotionally traumatized by that incident. Since then I've been afraid to touch my penis directly, so I always masturbate with my cotton boxers -- without lube. It wasn't a problem for a long time, but it seems that I'm becoming more and more desensitized so I have to masturbate longer, and now I keep getting chafed. No bleeding yet but it gets really dry and sore. I used to do it 2-3 times a day but now I have to wait a day or two because it aches.

I keep telling myself that I need to get some lube and just do it with my hand, but I keep going back to my old habits. I don't like the "mess" of the lube or my semen, so that doesn't help.

Anyone have advice or help in this situation? It's embarrassing as hell, but it really concerns me.

Well I agree with what you keep telling yourself, some hand lotion would work just fine. But there is a deeper issue about sex in general. If your not seeing a therapist I would recommend you see one. If you can't be relaxed sexually when you are alone, I don't see how you could ever be open and relaxed about sex with another person.

I'm sorry for your troubles. That's got to be tremendously difficult to process, let alone having to do so as a child.

Masturbation is not something I do well either. I can't reach climax unless someone is watching so I just don't do it at all.

My advice on this would be to make yourself comfortable. Purchase the lube (or lotion if that's easier), and at first, maybe just touch yourself with it with no intention of climax. Play music you like, maybe light some candles that are your favorite scent... anything that puts you at ease.

No one said you have to cum every time you touch yourself. Take it slow, make it an experience. As this becomes more comfortable, maybe being able to masturbate in different situations will be easier.

Also, maybe watching porn may help as you masturbate or doing so in a shower could be nice.

Again, sorry for such a terrible introduction to sex, I wish you well!

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist for this? You need to be able to break the hold your parents' teachings have over your current sex life, which is difficult to say the very least. A therapist could help with that.

Angel gave great advice...ease your way into things, don't expect anything going in, and work your way to it. No rush...just focus on getting comfortable with yourself before working on the other stuff.

You do though need to try to ease off using your boxers...the loss of sensation is due to dermal tissue damage, which results in a loss of sensation over time. I don't think it's anything permanent, but it would be beneficial to stop with the boxers.

I am sorry that your parents' strictness have turned you away from religion as a whole. I've a few friends who're devoutly atheist due to bad experiences with the church, and it's unfortunate something that's supposed to be beneficial becomes in some cases such a detriment.

I wish you the best of luck in overcoming this, and I hope things work out for the best.

Hugs,
Harley