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  #26  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 07:20 AM
Anonymous200125
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Originally Posted by Webgoji View Post
I don't think there's really a group of women that consciously want to emasculate men. Like Growlything, I think it's more of a societal thing.
Whether it's conscious or not, it's happening. You know what's often said about men who act macho or very masculine? They're insecure about their masculinity. You know what they about women who are independent and assertive. She's empowering, a strong women.

When a man acts too aggressive, too assertive, or too macho. He's considered insecure, mentally ill or perhaps even dangerous. When a woman does this it's empowerment.

When a man dresses like a woman, wears make up, cries, likes to spend more time in front of the mirror then his girlfriend. He's considered a real man for being in touch with his feminine side. Yeah that's right, in today's western society, the more feminine a man acts the more he is praised for it. The more masculine he acts, he is ridiculed and/or attacked for it.

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  #27  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
Whether it's conscious or not, it's happening. You know what's often said about men who act macho or very masculine? They're insecure about their masculinity. You know what they about women who are independent and assertive. She's empowering, a strong women.

When a man acts too aggressive, too assertive, or too macho. He's considered insecure, mentally ill or perhaps even dangerous. When a woman does this it's empowerment.

When a man dresses like a woman, wears make up, cries, likes to spend more time in front of the mirror then his girlfriend. He's considered a real man for being in touch with his feminine side. Yeah that's right, in today's western society, the more feminine a man acts the more he is praised for it. The more masculine he acts, he is ridiculed and/or attacked for it.
This is often true, I have to agree. Unless that macho toughness is what's wanted, then you can get ridiculed for not being "manly" enough. But then you have to switch back to being caring and gentle in the next breath. It's no wonder guys are so confused these days about their roles in society.
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  #28  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 10:52 AM
Anonymous200125
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Originally Posted by Webgoji View Post
This is often true, I have to agree. Unless that macho toughness is what's wanted, then you can get ridiculed for not being "manly" enough. But then you have to switch back to being caring and gentle in the next breath. It's no wonder guys are so confused these days about their roles in society.
Because women, whether conscious or not, are attracted to men who act like men. Yet society is telling them that the very men they're attracted to are bad, hence the term "bad boy". More often then not the so-called bad boy isn't a bad man at all, he's a man that acts like a man. He isn't afraid to act masculine, to be protective of his wife/GF, not crying or being on a emotional rollercoaster, has no interest in wanting to explore his inner little girl and to not be a pushover by women.

Yet we're told by society that a man who acts this way is a jerk or a bad boy yet someone who acts like a so-called "nice guy" is nice. Do you know why they're considered nice? Because they're a pushover for women. It's an unconscious way of telling men that if you act masculine it's bad and if you act submissive and feminine it's good.
  #29  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 07:55 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
You say "unisex", but in fact, women have usurped all the accessories that used to be exclusively male. Once women started wearing argyle, men were left with no way to express their masculinity in clothes.

Maybe I'm going too far, but it does look like there is "unisex" and "female" clothing and nothing left for men.

PS: Incidentally, this can be tough on women too. There is no way a woman can cross-dress!
I have never seen the word "argyle" before, but I have looked up the images and I can tell you that argyle is still worn by males in more than 95% of cases I have seen, and I have seen quite a few people. So I do not understand your point.

I can tell you how to express masculinity in clothes, because it is super easy - simply stop paying so much attention to what you wear.
  #30  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 07:58 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Originally Posted by Middlemarcher View Post
It seems that my post has triggered you, and I'm sorry for that. The language I used is quite standard in the BDSM community, and the proclivity quite common, thus what seemed like non-chalance to you. I would be happy to use the term "(consensual) humiliation" here, as this would set it apart from what you are talking about.
Yes, please. That something is standard in the BDSM community is of no import for me. "consensual humiliation" fits the bill fine, so thank you for coining it. The same would apply to violence, degradation, etc.

Whatever is standard within the BDSM community should stay so within the community. Using it outside of it would be like using professional jargon with lay people. Again, thanks for quickly coming up with a good alternative.
  #31  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 08:15 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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I can tell you that men who are Mensches realize that women have a harder lot in life - they have to carry, birth, and nurse their young. That women get to enjoy a bit more in terms of satin, lace, or interesting looking clothing is a tiny compensation for their harder lot in life. And if men like the feel of lingerie - ok, have them clothe their ladies in the lingerie they like, but not wear satin and lace themselves. I would find a man wearing female lingerie laughable, as in "clueless", and by clueless I mean "unaware of the critical difference between men and women".

The awareness of the critical and undeniable difference between men and women and the reverence in which men who are Menshces hold women for that reason is what makes true men men, and not aggression. It has nothing to do with aggression or machism - it simply boils down to this one very simple matter, in a "yes/no" manner. I somehow missed that critical distinction in that both ex husbands did not have that reverence, but many other men in my life, including my wonderful 6th grade boyfriend, with whom I reconnected via Skype in 2013, for the first time since 6th grade, have that reverence. Well, at least I was on the right track responding to male interest when I was in middle school.

If a man is a Mensch in the manner described above, but happens to enjoy putting lingerie on himself and can explain that interest without losing the reverence described above, then, I guess, I would be OK with it, but if a man feels entitled to women's lingerie because he is trying to get in touch with whatever, then - no way. I mean - getting in touch can be done without my presence, right? In the OP, if I read it correctly, the woman's partner wanted to wear lingerie in her presence. So he is asking her, in essence, to help him get in touch with whatever that side of his is that he is trying to get in touch with - I think that might be a tall order. but let us ask OP, since she has not posted and appears to have abandoned her thread.

PS I can see comic value in having a man dress up like a woman, so I guess a couple that enjoys the lighter, or farcical, side of sex might enjoy cross-dressing for that reason.
  #32  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 08:20 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Looked up more posts by OP. All posts were made on 2/18. It does not seem that she is returning to read the responses on her threads.
  #33  
Old Mar 19, 2014, 10:48 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
Yeah that's right, in today's western society, the more feminine a man acts the more he is praised for it. The more masculine he acts, he is ridiculed and/or attacked for it.
I think it's more of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.
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  #34  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
I can tell you that men who are Mensches realize that women have a harder lot in life - they have to carry, birth, and nurse their young. That women get to enjoy a bit more in terms of satin, lace, or interesting looking clothing is a tiny compensation for their harder lot in life.
Sorry but this nonsense. At least in western society. In countries like India women do get horrific, no denying that. But in first world countries women now days don't have to give birth and sit at home and care for the children. Many women give birth and our working. Using childbirth as just an example is a nonsense. A woman in a couple can sit at home and look after the children or she can work and won't be judged for it. If she sits at home she's being a caring mother, if she works, she's helping provide for the family. If a man sits at home he's often viewed as a bum, loser, or a failure. Men are expected to work, women aren't, they have a choice.

Men are more likely to be homeless, men are more likely to commit suicide, men are more likely to be murdered, men are more likely to end up living a lonely life. Men get screwed over in divorce

Not saying women have it easy. Both men and women have privileges, but both have things that go against them.
  #35  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 11:09 AM
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Mike_J Mike_J is offline
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Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
When a man acts too aggressive, too assertive, or too macho. He's considered insecure, mentally ill or perhaps even dangerous. When a woman does this it's empowerment.
Yes, when I was going through my divorce a big deal was made out of the fat that when I get angry, my facial expressions shows that I'm angry (and why wouldn't it?). But the fact that when she would get mad she would often hit me or thrown things, that wasn't considered a big deal because I was never injured.

Bit off topic sorry
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  #36  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Mike_J View Post
Yes, when I was going through my divorce a big deal was made out of the fat that when I get angry, my facial expressions shows that I'm angry (and why wouldn't it?). But the fact that when she would get mad she would often hit me or thrown things, that wasn't considered a big deal because I was never injured.

Bit off topic sorry
Men are told in western society that the reason we're more aggressive, more angry, more assertive, less in touch with our emotions is because of 1000's of man-made gender stereotypes. This is a lie.

Men are this way because on average, we have up 20 times more testosterone then women. That's why men cry less then women, not the lie that society is telling us that men cry less because they've been told to hold in their emotions. F to M transexuals report feeling less in touch with emotions when taking testosterone, the opposite happens with M to F transexuals.

Men are told that whenever we like to look at women, attractive women, that we're perverted, objectify women and perhaps even potential rapists. It's a bad thing for a heterosexual man to embrace his sexuality, yet the opposite for a woman. Yet it's perfectly acceptable for homosexuals to embrace their's. It's perfectly acceptable for men to dress like a woman but if a man acts too masculine, he's insecure and putting on an act.

Men are being emasculated and we need to wake the **** up and realise what's happening.
  #37  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 01:38 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
Sorry but this nonsense. At least in western society. In countries like India women do get horrific, no denying that. But in first world countries women now days don't have to give birth and sit at home and care for the children. Many women give birth and our working. Using childbirth as just an example is a nonsense. A woman in a couple can sit at home and look after the children or she can work and won't be judged for it. If she sits at home she's being a caring mother, if she works, she's helping provide for the family. If a man sits at home he's often viewed as a bum, loser, or a failure. Men are expected to work, women aren't, they have a choice.
What you are saying is nonsense. the last time a Mensch told me that (what I wrote above)... he was hailing from London, having lived in Switzerland, Australia, and Russia before. No India anything. This has nothing do with with who stays home and who works.
  #38  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 02:04 PM
Anonymous200125
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
What you are saying is nonsense. the last time a Mensch told me that (what I wrote above)... he was hailing from London, having lived in Switzerland, Australia, and Russia before. No India anything. This has nothing do with with who stays home and who works.
Ad hominem. Explains your reasons why. Don't just attack me. And I noticed you blatantly edited your quote and took out my reasons why men don't have it easier.
  #39  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 02:24 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Originally Posted by Lycanthrope View Post
Ad hominem. Explains your reasons why. Don't just attack me. And I noticed you blatantly edited your quote and took out my reasons why men don't have it easier.
I am not attacking you. I am mirroring you. When I post, you react with a dismissive "nonsense". This is, for one, disrespectful, and, for another, stupid (meaning that saying "nonsense" shows that you cannot argue your position, and that is stupid). This was the first time I mirrored it to you, and I thought that you would be smart enough to see that I was mirroring you in an effort to show you how it feels to be on the receiving end of stupidity and dismissiveness. Yet, you did not notice that I was mirroring, and instead started playing a victim, saying that I attacked you. You are behaving like a sissy, and it is really, REALLY FUNNY to watch a guy who, on the one hand, claims high testosterone levels, and on the other hand, cannot handle a woman even in a writing environment. I am just wondering - do you not see that you are playing a comedian here?

The exact point I was making is that a Mensch does not have to act aggressive or look particularly masculine (the man in London does have wonderfully virile voice, but on his Linkedin picture looks like an average guy with early baldness, which is a shame since back in middle school he had wonderfully thick wavy medium brown hair). To be a Mensch you need to have a certain set of beliefs and principles you live by, and you can be soft spoken but still be a Mensch. Or you can have a lot of visible attributes of virility and be a sissy. If a man is not magnanimous, wise, and firm in his principles, there is no point in dealing with him at less than an arm's reach.

By the way I totally agree with you that the idea that looking at a woman with appreciation somehow objectifies the said woman is an epitome of stupidity. So as you see, I have painstakingly reviewed your posts and taken out of them something with which I agree, because I am a polite and considerate poster who tries to find common ground when she can, and you are not. And no, I did not redact your post to alter its meaning - I cut it short to make the quotation short. The post was nonsensical as a whole. If you do not like being told that your post is nonsense as a whole, the first step for you is to find each place when you called my posts, or my references to somebody else's thoughts, nonsense (I do not remember them all, but it will be a good homework for you to find them), and apologize in each individual case. How a man handles apologizing (with grace and elegance, hopefully...) also speaks volumes of his virility.

Just to make sure - if you now run to get moderators to edit my posts for calling what you do stupid, you will confirm that you are simply a sissy who thinks that acting macho is cool. I come of the culture where being a teacher's pet was considered the horriblest thing of all in public schools, and running to moderators is like being a teacher's pet. So I have given you a warning - if I hear from moderators that you have complained, it will confirm what I suspect, an that is that you do not have true, innate virility at a core level. So let us see how you will handle this. I am curious. Again, I agree with you that the whole concept of objectification is entiretly stupid.
  #40  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 02:49 PM
Anonymous200125
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
I am not attacking you. I am mirroring you. When I post, you react with a dismissive "nonsense". This is, for one, disrespectful, and, for another, stupid (meaning that saying "nonsense" shows that you cannot argue your position, and that is stupid). This was the first time I mirrored it to you, and I thought that you would be smart enough to see that I was mirroring you in an effort to show you how it feels to be on the receiving end of stupidity and dismissiveness. Yet, you did not notice that I was mirroring, and instead started playing a victim, saying that I attacked you. You are behaving like a sissy, and it is really, REALLY FUNNY to watch a guy who, on the one hand, claims high testosterone levels, and on the other hand, cannot handle a woman even in a writing environment. I am just wondering - do you not see that you are playing a comedian here?

The exact point I was making is that a Mensch does not have to act aggressive or look particularly masculine (the man in London does have wonderfully virile voice, but on his Linkedin picture looks like an average guy with early baldness, which is a shame since back in middle school he had wonderfully thick wavy medium brown hair). To be a Mensch you need to have a certain set of beliefs and principles you live by, and you can be soft spoken but still be a Mensch. Or you can have a lot of visible attributes of virility and be a sissy. If a man is not magnanimous, wise, and firm in his principles, there is no point in dealing with him at less than an arm's reach.

By the way I totally agree with you that the idea that looking at a woman with appreciation somehow objectifies the said woman is an epitome of stupidity. So as you see, I have painstakingly reviewed your posts and taken out of them something with which I agree, because I am a polite and considerate poster who tries to find common ground when she can, and you are not. And no, I did not redact your post to alter its meaning - I cut it short to make the quotation short. The post was nonsensical as a whole. If you do not like being told that your post is nonsense as a whole, the first step for you is to find each place when you called my posts, or my references to somebody else's thoughts, nonsense (I do not remember them all, but it will be a good homework for you to find them), and apologize in each individual case. How a man handles apologizing (with grace with elegance, hopefully) also speaks volumes of his internal qualities as a man.

Just to make sure - if you now run to get moderators to edit my posts for calling what you do stupid, you will confirm that you are simply a sissy who thinks that acting macho is cool. I come of the culture where being a teacher's pet was considered the horriblest thing of all in public schools, and running to moderators is like being a teacher's pet. So I have given you a warning - if I hear from moderators that you have complained, it will confirm what I suspect, an that is that you do not have true, innate virility at a core level. So let us see how you will handle this. I am curious. Again, I agree with you that the whole concept of objectification is entiretly stupid.
The funny is, you know full well I have never reported anybody on here, although you yourself have tried in the past with posts against me, to hint to the moderators that I should be censored or I was breaking site rules. You do remember right? Probably not, just like you don't read posts properly. Because if you did, you would know I'm not talking about my own testosterone levels, but men in general. I mean you've spent like a whole paragraph blabbering garbage.
Would be nice if you could actually prove your reasons of why women have it harder. Just saying it, doesn't make it true. I didn't think you were mirroring me, because to mirror me you'd have to least counter my points I raised about the problems that men have to deal with. You see, I did call your post nonsense, but I did at least give an explanation as to why.

By the way, you said a Mensch was someone who accepts a woman has it harder in life. None of this waffle you mention above was said, just that a man has to accept that a woman has it tougher, or he has no dignity as a man. I guess that means that as a man I have no dignity or honour according to you. Well that's fine, I couldn't care less how idiots judge me. But just to mention, a man that doesn't question such ridiculous idiocy, surely has to be sissy.

Thanks for agreeing with me on something though ( about the objectification thing) and I did apologise, I said "sorry but this is nonsense". That was an apology that I thought your post was crap. Learn to read sweety.
  #41  
Old Mar 20, 2014, 08:38 PM
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FooZe FooZe is offline
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Sorry, but this thread has gone way off topic and turned into an argument. I'm going to close it while we decide what needs to be done with it.
Thanks for this!
sabby
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attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




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