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#1
Dec 16, 2013, 02:02 AM
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After having sex with my GF, she said it would be hot if I told her to come during sex. I said ooookay... did someone tell you to do that in the past? She said, yes.
This is all good and well, but being requested to say something that an EX(s) used to say to her during sex makes me feel... Umm... Yeah. I'm only posting to ask the reader this: how would this make you feel? |
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#2
Dec 16, 2013, 02:06 AM
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Were it me? I see your concern, but I don't think it's a thing about what her ex did that was sexy. Rather, it's just something she finds sexy that many people do...including her ex(s).
I wouldn't worry about it too much. I don't think she's thinking OF the ex(s) while she's with you. I just think she's missing an aspect of her sex life that she wants you to be a part of.  That's how I'm seeing it, anyway.
__________________
The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
 Angel of Bedlam
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#3
Dec 16, 2013, 02:24 AM
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Telling someone to come during intercourse is a dominant behaviour, and it seems that she wants you to be dominant. You could do as she asks and tell her to come or you could just dominate her in other ways.
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| CantExplain, otroo
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#4
Dec 16, 2013, 12:24 PM
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One a scale of ice cream to hot tamale, being told to "come for someone" is definitely on the hot roasted jalepeno list. It's a request to be dominated, not abusive, being more assertive in the bedroom and talking dirty. There's a LOT that goes into dominating and not all of it is whips and chains. She could still be completely vanilla, meaning having no interest in kinky behavior, but she might just want that extra little "spice". Maybe kiss her a little harder, act like her body is a drug and you are insatiable to it, and definitely talk dirty. You don't have to go all crazy, I think she just wants you to spice things up and try something new.
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| Angel of Bedlam, trying2survive
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#5
Dec 21, 2013, 08:11 PM
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If my husband said to me, "Do _______ to me like (ex girlfriend) used to do," yes, I would be upset. If he just suggested a certain type of sex play I don't care where it came from- ex girlfriend, porn, an urge, or a conversation from the guys. If it's doable for me, I'd do it. Personally, I like to know what he likes.
In all fairness she only told you she heard this from an ex because you asked. You've had sexual partners before her, yes? You've never reused any moves from previous experiences? If so, was it because you knew you like it or was it because you were fantasizing about that person or feeling your partner at the time was inadequate? Her specific request isn't an unusual one either. My husband says it to me from time to time when he's really worked up. It turns me on for that reason. I've read it in books, too, so her request could have come from anywhere.
__________________
gnat Dx: depression and anxiety Tx: Rhodiola Rosea, humor, denial, dance, and wallowing in my own self-pity My blog: http://messedinthehead.psychcentral.net/ |
| unaluna
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#6
Dec 21, 2013, 08:39 PM
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I don't think it's a big deal. I think these are one of those small things that can be worked up into something much bigger if it's not dealt with logically. If it was something an ex said, well, it's not to uncommon. It probably has A) nothing to do with the ex, and all to do with B) her intimate attraction to you. She may have heard /them/ say it, but she wants to hear /you/ say it, which shows that she is very much attracted to you.
Remove the ex from the equation and see that it has more to do with her wanting something sexually from YOU over something she used to have.
__________________
“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
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#7
Apr 27, 2014, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
i would say just have fun and go with it ( and while you're at it add some things you like!) hope this helps!!
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!  
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#8
Apr 27, 2014, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
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| CantExplain, trying2survive
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#9
Apr 28, 2014, 10:59 PM
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I think it's all about what turns her on and has nothing to do with any specific ex in her past. It's a door cracking open, man.
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| trying2survive
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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