He blames his lack of libido on a lack of porn

I will make this as short as possible. This is a painful topic for me. I've been with my boyfriend for a few years. His drive has waned before due to physical issues/focus on work/etc but nothing like this. Our sex life is pretty much dead. I'm an affectionate, sexual person who would happily initiate oral sex throughout the day or by request if he desired such a thing. Things are far from perfect between us but nothing, even the immense pain I've felt at times, has gotten in the way of my desire for him or willingness to engage in intimacy in all forms. As for the porn, I enjoy porn(or I did, now I find it to be too depressing), I understand the desire to look at porn even when you have a partner, and I don't have any objections to it. I did, however, feel insecure about him looking at porn when his desire for me seemed low. There are other things that have left me feeling insecure within this relationship, though, and porn was never a big deal.

He read some articles a couple of months ago about porn's effect on libido. He wondered if his drive for me would go up if he were to stop viewing porn. He was concerned about it being damaging to his sex drive/etc after reading the articles. At that time, some things were still happening but we still weren't having sex as often as I would like and it would drop off completely at times. Nothing this severe, though. Today he told me he had read that it can take a few weeks to a few YEARS for a man's sex drive to return after giving up porn.

I'm biting my tongue. I gently told him it didn't seem like he looked at porn THAT much(we're together all day) for it to make this much of a difference. I mentioned that I had only had what he described happen from medications or supplements. And I asked if he would like to see his doctor, get his testosterone levels checked, and so on. I feel extremely hurt, though. I feel unattractive. Logically, it might not be me. Emotionally, my boyfriend has just told me that he can't desire me without porn. He needs porn to become turned on. What little bit of self esteem I had left has just been stomped into the ground. I think it's possible that he's "just not into me" mentally or physically.

He describes it as a low desire and some loss of sensation on his penis. He said he even felt the loss of sensation the last time we had sex(I can't remember when this was) even though he was into it.

Can anyone relate? I don't know how to cope with this.

Are there other men around that you might consider as a future partner?

Your bf reported lack of sensation after reading "literature" that talks about men losing sensation. Most likely he was influenced by what he read. An old British classic, "Three men in a boat", describes a guy who starts feeling all kinds of dangerous symptoms after reading a medical textbook. The phenomenon is very, very old. People are impressionable. Also read about the nocebo effect if you are interested. That is the theory part, which basically says that your partner lacked or failed to apply his critical thinking skills when he read about the harmful effects ofvporn, even to the point of believing blatant nonsense about the years he would need to recover.

On a practical level, you just don't describe anything remotely resembling happiness together, and sex is just one small piece. You need to reread the OP several times to appreciate the amount of sadness, crushed hopes, and disappointment that you poured into your writing. Were the man caring, you would not be writing along these lines. Even if it were all true about porn, a caring man would present this to you in a different fashion, without eroding your self-esteem. So this nut is bad. There are plenty of others.