Unresolved Oedipus - Electra complex?

Hi there.
Can someone try to help me to get out of this stage?
I live in pretty dysfunctional family, with my mother, father and 4 year older sister (35). We are so enmeshed emotionally and psychologically, without relationships. Last time when I found a girlfriend, my family was on the last place to know, because they feel like I am abandoning them. My father is an adult child of alcoholic and he fills his emotional batteries with my sister, she is his emotional caretaker. My mother is here but she turned herself off towards my father cause he is emotional hole without a bottom.
I accept that Oedipus and Electra complex are normal fazes of psycho-sexual development, but what to do when parents fall into that same trap and have emotional benefit from it?
I feel so dirty and guilty of having that complex in my childhood, but I really didn't knew how to make a boundary - that is parents job. They failed to do that for their emotional benefit... I remember my mom giving me these flirtatious looks occasionally and I liked it. Also, my sisters emotional needs are fulfilled by my father and she doesn't need a boyfriend. Damn....
Yes, in my family just that happened - our emotional needs were on family and relationship (boyfriend-girlfriend) level so enmeshed... so emotional incestuous. Of course, on a physical level, there is nothing. Oh yes, there is - we never touch each other, NEVER EVER, just cause because unawareness of normal family and sexual touch and boundary.
How to get out of it? What can I do?

Hi, it seems your family like you said is emotionally enmeshed and dysfunctional. If you want to be free and mentally healthy, you need to get away from that toxic environment. Have you had therapy? This can help untangle the psychological damage done to you. You can’t change them if they have no interest in personal development.


Best of luck.


PH

No I can't have therapy about these issues in my undeveloped country - Serbia. My country has far more basic levels of dysfunction than psychotherapy. Even if it is available in bigger cities, I cannot afford it. All I can do is to be honest to my self to the core and ask internet. And stay away from wrong sideways. My sister has a bigger issues, but I can't get through to her. For how long I'm trying to fix my issues, I don't think that I have time to make them see, cause for them everything is normal.

Oh,.. their personal development? Man, they know everything, you can give them to drive a plane. Its this way for them: the older you are, the higher on respect and knowledge level you must be, without reading anything.

Thanks Purple

Cureav, these complexes are beautiful tales concocted by Freud. They make for a fascinating reading, but should not be taken literally at face value. Plus, there are many theories of child development that diverge from those of Freud, so nothing is set in stone.

Now, this does not solve the gf vs parents problem, but atvleast you do not have to think that you have your own outdated complexes.

I agree with you, I don't really care how this is called... but when two parent do not fulfill their emotional needs in each other or in other adults and they come to their children for that - it can't be healthy. Children also feel special in this dynamic but it has consequences. Trust me, if you would like to resolve this kind of relationship, it would lead to nasty breakup between parent-child like between two romantic partners.
Its called something like "emotional parentification".