Considering buying a sex toy.... again.

Guys are allowed to enjoy sex toys too

Buy what you want, enjoy it. If you aren't hurting anyone there is nothing wrong with it.

Hi AppalachianAxis
What about a back up plan for if you do get to the freaking out stage, and then you won't have to worry (as much!! ) about that bit any more??
So.........a deal??? If you do get to that stage, what about coming back to us and talking about it?? And I for one would be only too happy to be telling you- it's alright, it's not abnormal in any way, there's nothing wrong with it, it doesn't need to change in the slightest who you are...............all that kind of stuff because I believe it!!!
What do you think..........maybe a plan???

Alison

I haven't read the previous responses to your thread in the hope of using my own instincts to reply to your concern. It seems that with a problem such as yours, logic isn't all that helpful. I mean if we look at the facts:

a) You know that sexual urges serve an important biological function.
b) You know that there are many hundreds of thousands of single/partnered/married heterosexual men who regularly use dildos as part of maintaining their sexual health.
c) You know that there is no obligation for you to keep or indeed, even use the dildo.

So with all this in mind, it's obvious to me, as an outsider, that this issue is caused by a deeply rooted emotional response to thoughts and behaviours whose origin your therapist is no doubt helping you discover. To that end, i would advise you proceed with this idea under the guidance of your therapist. I don't know if they've already been informed but it is my hope that they would be able to provide you with continued support and assistance. I hope we here can continue to help you in our own way. All the best to you.

Maybe just buy a cucumber, wrap it in plastic for protection and then have sex with it.

Then if someone finds a cucumber in your room it's no big deal.

Maybe a plan! Thank you for your continued support, I think I might just do that.

You really hit the nail on the head, you did. Yup, it's an emotional issue, one that flies in the face of pure logic. I've simply always felt terribly guilty about this sort of thing, and while I did find using a toy physically enjoyable, it rendered me an emotional wreck afterwards.
But, as you guessed, I have been working on these issues with a therapist. And I am determined to try and employ the new frame of mind I am being taught to approach different aspects of my own sexual desires step by step. This, buying a toy again, being the next step. The urges aren't going anywhere after all.
Thank you very much for taking the time for such an insightful response, I really appreciate it and will absolutely take what you've said seriously.

I've, uh, tried that before
For one thing, there's just something about the shape of a toy made for that expressed purpose that I find much more enjoyable. For another, a cucumber would go bad quick hiding in my room, don't you think?

One thing to remember in whatever avenue you choose is that you can always turn to the PC community for a good rant, support and interesting suggests

The cucumber always seems like a great idea, but in my experience they have a tendency to go soft b4 you know it

You can buy a new one every week. Have sex with it then throw it in the trash.

First off for you guys looking at flesh lights I had one and really liked using it. Now AppalachianAxis my wife and I use toys on each other and there is nothing to feel bad about. If a person can achieve a great climax by using toy for it I believe any way you can get pleasure to go for unless it involves children or causing un wanted pain on others than have fun.

Sent from my Xoom using Tapatalk

Please elaborate.

Otroo thank you for jogging my memory lol I'm on so many meds for my chronic pain that my memory can be awful

I have remembered that back in my early 20's my partner at the time gave me some money to go out and buy us a toy or two with the proviso that it was not really girlie. I got a gold vibrator and sent him pictures of it by the time he'd finished work he was so excited he insisted on the first go. That led to some incredible sex throughout the rest of our relationship; can't believe I had forgotten about it

The nice thing about a cucumber is saving money and make a salad with it. Like having your cucumber and eating too.

You really want to eat the cuke after using it as a sex toy? Ummm ewww lol

Not sure if you're joking about the whole cucumber thing, but eating it? Eeeeeeewwww!

I'm still really on the fence about this whole thing. Part of me reallllly wants to get one, part of me is scared to do so, knowing I'll feel, well, 'impure' keeping a fake penis in my room.
They're also really expensive!

AppalachianAxis, You said "keeping"!! .

And time to challenge those thoughts of "impurity", or where they've come from?? And you've now got a few more weapons in doing that, hey?? I mean none of us are judging you!!
I mean everyone will have their own personal standards and that's fine..........but when they're hurting themselves, maybe time to have another look at how well they really work. And besides I have the feeling that those standards more belong to prejudices set out by others rather than to YOU.
So "impure" in my eyes just because you've got/use a dildo..........not "buying it"!!!
That's kind of next to saying it's a sin, and we know it's not, don't we??!! Don't we??!!!

And if I'm still having to convince you!!
If you can't quite let go of thinking it's.......
For me the quality of "purity" is well down the list when it comes to other qualities e.g. compassion, empathy, sensitivity, caring.............now those are the qualities to really be respected, the qualities that can make a real difference, the qualities that make a person outstanding. Wouldn't you agree?? Just a little??



Alison

Just buy the cucumber and go to town on it already

Totally joking. Sometimes I have a sick and dark sense of humor. That would be very very gross. Yuck

You have to circumcise...Uuhmm, I mean peel the skin off first

You all are killing me with the cucumber thing

So I guess we should really teach kids about

"The Birds, Bees and the Cucumber"

I drove truck for over 11 years my wife have me permission to sleep with other girls but they could not be hookers or anything like that. Well I bought a flesh light and I really liked it so much that I never stepped out on my wife even with her permission. Now op if you shop around sometime you can find cucumbers on sales like two for one type stuff. If you fear you are going to throw it away just buy cheaper ones made online. Oh and check this out.

Ingredients
4 cucumbers, thinly sliced1 small white onion, thinly sliced1 cup white vinegar
1/2 cup water3/4 cup white sugar1 tablespoon dried dill, or to taste
Adjust Servings

Adjust
Metric US Original recipe yields 8 servings
Directions

Toss together the cucumbers and onion in a large bowl. Combine the vinegar, water and sugar in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, and pour over the cucumber and onions. Stir in dill, cover, and refrigerate until cold. This can also be eaten at room temperature, but be sure to allow the cucumbers to marinate for at least 1 hour.
Share It

Yeah and the vinegar will kill the germs.

If you are willing to put your mouth onto someone's actual penis, then eating a cucumber that you just had sex with should not be a problem. Black widow spiders eat their sexual partners all the time, you can do the same

If you died and your friends or family found it, they'd say, something like hm, I have the same thing in red!
Just because something is private does not make it bad or shameful! Buy one, keep it. Put a note in your hiding place with a joke about how if they found this, and your dead, to please see that it go to the grave with you.

Thank you everyone for your continued responses. It's awfully nice to be able to get advice about this here
First, let me cover the cucumber thing in seriousness, insofar as I can, lol. I know that would actually be a great discreet way to go about it, but part of the challenge I'm potentially setting up for myself here is that of coming to terms with actually owning a sex toy. To be able to accept the fact that I have in my possession an object designed for sexual use would be a big step for me. I haven't been able to do it in the past.
I do have my eyes on one potentially, I'll admit. Here's the thing, it's pretty costly. My worry, as I've stated is that I'll fly into another bout of self-hatred and throw the thing away in an attempt to make myself feel better, as I have done in the past. That would be a lot of money wasted in a moment of clouded thinking .
One idea I've had is to 'start out' with a cheaper toy and maybe see where that goes. That way, if I do become so mortified as to toss the thing, it won't be as much cash down the drain. Thing is, I've tried getting a 'cheap' dildo before, it wasn't great. It got dirty, it wasn't very good quality, and frankly the thing smelled horrible.
The one I'd like to get is top-notch quality, as far as fake penises go, but like I said, it ain't cheap.

Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to respond to this. Yes, even you all in the cucumber crowd! I know my fears are not logical and that my concerns are largely unfounded, but this is a much deeper issue than that. I'm OK with the idea of getting a toy again most of the time, but there are moments where I berate myself for even considering it, and it's those thoughts I need to get a grip on. Having a place to talk about it helps more than I can say.