[amy94]

I'm 19 and I've always been attracted to men and always had romantic feelings for men for as long as I can remember, but for the last few weeks, I have been so confused and scared, because Idk why I feel like I have been having same-sex attractions and losing attraction to men?? How is that possible? Could I really lose attraction for the gender I've always adored practically my whole life? And Idk why, I just really feel like I would be extremely unhappy to find out if I was gay. I really want to be straight for some reason. I just always have been straight and it made me very happy and was very content with living the straight life and I don't want things to change. Please help I've been feeling so depressed and ashamed about it.

[LiteraryLark]

Of course. Not all people are born completely straight or gay. I grew up loving boys but throughout high school I primarily dated girls. Now I only date boys.

[RTerroni]

Well I think that naturally everyone is straight so you certainly can go through phases depending on what you like at the time.

[zobothehobo]

First of all, wipe that "I'm so ashamed" attitude off the table, because it's pointless and... well... a bit hurtful.

It's perfectly fine and valid that your identity changes or moves or shifts. People find their sexual attractions change at all stages in life and it's really cool.

May I ask why you're so content on not being not straight? What is it about straightness that you're so uncomfortable and afraid of leaving? What is it about gayness/biness/panness/whatever identity word you may find that you're so uncomfortable and afraid of entering? Usually when a straight person expresses fear of becoming gay, it's because they have a lot of pent up homophobia that they haven't dealt with. This person may feel to be a huge ally to the MOGII community, but they end up having mounds of homophobic feelings to work through.

At the end of the day, hopefully you'll find that there's nothing to be afraid of and straightness isn't in any way better than anything else. You'll embrace yourself, your experiences, and your feelings. You'll experiment and find words for yourself. You'll find pride.

[bixkf]

I believe it was Freud that said that there is an "inate bisexuality" in everyone. I think that many people believe that being straight is the norm and that one diverges from that point. I believe though that everyone starts right in the middle between homosexual and heterosexual. We have no preconceptions at birth, and as infants we have as much personal attraction same or opposite sex playmates. It is through cultural, societal, educational learning that we change into our "norm" (whatever that is...)
I personally have gone through many phases. I believe I was mostly straight as an adolescent, in my early teens I thought I might be trans (I always thought I would have done better in life as a girl), in my late teens I was a sexually active homosexual, I've been bisexual (75% hetero/25% homo) for the first 15 years of my marriage and now I'm still bisexual but 20% hetero and 80% homosexual.
That's a lot of phases and I'm still only in my mid-40's. I've still got lots of oppotunities to change in the second half of my life.
So my answer to your question is yes, people can go through phases of sexuality. And because of that, there is no reason to label yourself and feel bad about yourself. Let yourself feel what you feel, it's natural. Denying your feelings is denying your life.

[AnxiousSadGirl]

When I was younger I thought I was a lesbian, I was only attracted to girls but I still had crushes on guys just no sexual feelings. As I got older my attraction to females completely went away and now males turn me on. So I indentify as being straight. Its weird.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by amy94

I'm 19 and I've always been attracted to men and always had romantic feelings for men for as long as I can remember, but for the last few weeks, I have been so confused and scared, because Idk why I feel like I have been having same-sex attractions and losing attraction to men?? How is that possible? Could I really lose attraction for the gender I've always adored practically my whole life? And Idk why, I just really feel like I would be extremely unhappy to find out if I was gay. I really want to be straight for some reason. I just always have been straight and it made me very happy and was very content with living the straight life and I don't want things to change. Please help I've been feeling so depressed and ashamed about it.

I wouldn't worry about it or feel guilty...just go with what your feeling in the moment.

[Velouria]

I once went through a phase where I thought I was a lesbian. Then I realized I was bi. Sometimes I'm attracted to women more than men, and sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes I'm more attracted to men more than women. And sometimes I just want to **** everything.

Don't feel ashamed.

Amy94, I hope you can come to know yourself better without forcing it, and whether you're bisexual, or gay, or just extra hormonal, you can accept your true self (a lot of women have more fluid sexuality than men, and can identify as straight even thought they had feelings for women in the past). If you love someone, you shouldn't be ashamed of that. Nor should you be ashamed of experimenting.
To zobothehobo, I think you should cut the girl some slack. Your heart is in the right place, but sometimes the fear is just of losing your identity. When I started questioning myself, I felt this deep fear: How could I not have known who I am after all these years? I thought I was insightful! Amy94 may want to cling to the straight self that she has known for 19 years, rather than try out this uncertain new part of her identity.

[Evening]

Sometimes when people are younger they can feel they are attreacted to the same sex because that is the sexuality they are most familiar with before they become more experienced with the opposite gender. Who's sexuality is anyone going to be more familiar with but their own? I had a relative who went through a short phase of thinking he as gay, I think it may have only lasted a couple of months, myself and his mother didn't make a big deal or treat him any differently, but when he started hanging out with girls more suddenly the whole gay thing went out the window and he couldn't have been any straighter. So that could be a possibility as to why you feel the way you do.

[Irrelevant221]

A number of people feel that sexuality is fluid and exists on a spectrum. Have you heard of either the Kinsey scale or the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid? You can find online tests for both of these. Although they're quite simplified and you can't have your sexuality determined by a test, you might find them helpful anyway. I would personally recommend this one, because it highlights the differences between things like sexual attraction and sexual behaviour.

I understand that you are feeling overwhelmed and upset, and it is understandable that you feel that way. Taking time to really be honest with yourself and be introspective is important. Is there anyone you can talk to about what you're going through? Discovering that your sexuality isn't what you thought it was can be scary, but it doesn't have to be a horrible experience.