Can't get there

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 03:23 PM

So I've been having a problem lately with reaching orgasm. My husband is wonderful in bed... Seriously I have no complaints. Lately I just have been having a harder time cresting the hill. I usually c** multiple times (and this may be a little TMI but I soak the sheets, so I can't fake them), and it's not been happening. My husband will stop and ask me why I can c** and that makes it even worse because then I keep focusing on c***ing instead of enjoying it and then I really can't get there.

I know men want to get their ladies off and take pride in their sack performance, how do I get over this so I can start having orgasms again? And more importantly, how can I fix this for something that is entirely NOT his fault? I don't wanna make him feel like he's not performing.

Sep 17, 2014 at 04:53 PM

Hello Angel: Well... since I'm an old male... sort-of... (it's complicated) I'm probably not the best person to be replying to your post. But the one thing I do know is that the more you focus on how things are going in bed, & worry about your lack of performance, the more difficulty you're likely to have. I obviously don't know what started this difficulty for you. It could be any number of things. But the concern over it simply makes matters worse. This may be something to talk with a therapist about.

Beyond that, I would just like to suggest that you consider putting this Thread on the Women Focused Forum. You may get more & possibly better replies there than you have gotten, or will receive, here. Best wishes...

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 05:06 PM

Idk if it's a lady issue or just a me issue... I think it's just me :/

meina · Sep 17, 2014 at 05:08 PM

hi, MY situation is exactly like yours sometimes. Though i do not mind focusing on the c thing and get it there for my partner. I am quite used to do that. For me it is kind of making tea for him and nothing else. My reply will make you little embarrassed but sometimes guys make us do like that through their insisting attitude on something they want to get from us. thx

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 05:26 PM

Idk I guess I'm just self conscious because I can usually always get there and now for some reason it's like so hard.

buzz bee · Sep 17, 2014 at 06:16 PM

I dont climax all the time either. I still enjoy it but I miss it when I dont.

Can I suggest trying something different? Change things up. Maybe a toy or lotions?

I guess other then that, just relax and realize you will not have the big "O" all the time.

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 06:52 PM

Lol I try to. I just don't want hubby's ego bruised. I enjoy it every single time.

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 06:52 PM

I kind of obsess about it too, but I think that's the OCD.

seraphic · Sep 17, 2014 at 08:27 PM

It sounds like the pressure your husband's putting on you in order to get there is making things worse. I had a problem like that with an old bf of mine... he would even start getting impatient if I took too long. :/ It may "bruise his ego" a bit, but I'd suggest talking to him and asking him to back off on the expectations like that so you can relax and enjoy it. If he wants you to get there, he (and you!) have to put you first in solving the problem.

The more you stress, the harder it will be.

Angel of Bedlam · Sep 17, 2014 at 10:25 PM

I'm gonna try, sometimes words are hard

Sep 18, 2014 at 08:55 AM

Maybe try a relaxant, like alcohol or valium.

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Angel of Bedlam Grand Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 962 10 1 hugs given	Sep 17, 2014 at 05:06 PM #3 Idk if it's a lady issue or just a me issue... I think it's just me :/ __________________ Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD
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Angel of Bedlam Grand Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 962 10 1 hugs given	Sep 17, 2014 at 05:26 PM #5 Idk I guess I'm just self conscious because I can usually always get there and now for some reason it's like so hard. __________________ Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD
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Angel of Bedlam Grand Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 962 10 1 hugs given	Sep 17, 2014 at 06:52 PM #7 Lol I try to. I just don't want hubby's ego bruised. I enjoy it every single time. __________________ Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD
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Angel of Bedlam Grand Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 962 10 1 hugs given	Sep 17, 2014 at 06:52 PM #8 I kind of obsess about it too, but I think that's the OCD. __________________ Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD
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Angel of Bedlam Grand Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 962 10 1 hugs given	Sep 17, 2014 at 10:25 PM #10 I'm gonna try, sometimes words are hard __________________ Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD
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Anonymous33211 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 18, 2014 at 08:55 AM #11 Maybe try a relaxant, like alcohol or valium.
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