masturbation

seraphic · Sep 28, 2014 at 11:53 PM

How old were you when you started? How did you discover it? Was it something that you kept doing regularly once you did, or avoided? Did it always feel good?

I'm worried that my experience is abnormal and that I figured things out much later than others. I didn't figure out how to touch myself in a way that felt good until I was 20 - and even then, only did because I had a boyfriend and wanted to figure out how to have sex with him better, not because it was something that I enjoyed or was interested in personally. I felt very much like I was the odd one out because of that.

AppalachianAxis · Sep 29, 2014 at 09:02 AM

I'm not quite clear, but it had to have started around late 13-ish to 14 years old for me. My discovery came of rather innocent internet image searches (seriously) and well, progressed from there. Masturbation didn't come into play until long after. For a while it was just me starting at a computer screen, trying to figure out just what the hell I was feeling.
Once I figured out how to masturbate properly (after much trail and error) it became something I tried very hard to avoid doing, and failed. It made me feel positively awful, and I felt like an absolute monster for doing it. I would do anything from hitting myself to enduring scalding hot showers or baths, trying to punish myself for what I did, in hopes that I wouldn't do it again.

lunatic soul · Sep 29, 2014 at 09:36 AM

I started at very early age and didn't know what is that what I'm doing, I did know nothing about sex

norwegianwoman · 03:46 PM

I was 11 when I started. I remember it well. I had read about it, and I had found my sister's "youth magazines" with what was essentially one erotic story in each issue, and reading them gave me all kinds of tingling sensations. I have always had a very vivid imagination and a rich fantasy life, and I would always make stories in my head that I would draw (or write when I got older), expanding on them every night. They were quite innocent at first but a couple of them became a bit dirtier after a while. All kids touch themselves, so I had also touched myself briefly before, but never for a long time. So one night I suppose I decided to masturbate, or something, at least I did and I got the best orgasm I have ever had. At least that's how I remember it, since then I've been trying to recreate that orgasm but nothing has come close. I swear I passed out for at least five minutes.

And yes, since then I have been doing it regularly. I believe it's healthy and it also feels good - it's like candy for the body!

Helps you develop a sense of what you like and not.

bixkf · Sep 30, 2014 at 10:10 AM

I was almost 14 when I started "successfully" masturbating. I learned about it from my brother who told me about it after he had "sex education" classes at school. I was a little slow getting into puberty so even though I was doing the same actions as masturbating, I wasn't getting erections or having orgasms. Honestly, I've always enjoyed it, always looked forward to some self-pleasuring activities. I've never considered it a substitute for sex with my spouse. Even to this day, over thirty years later I still masturbate regularly, though now it is more about regulating my homosexual desires and fantasies.

RTerroni · Sep 30, 2014 at 12:59 PM

I won't give out the exact age but I will just say that it was at a pretty mature age but I have been doing it regularly ever since.

Recently though I have been doing it a lot, usually twice a day and sometimes three times.

TheWell · Sep 30, 2014 at 06:11 PM

I have a friend who didn't start until her mid 20's. I told her that I thought it would help her orgasm with her boyfriend. Now she's into it.

I don't think there is any "should" when it comes to sex or sexuality.

doyoutrustme · Sep 30, 2014 at 06:17 PM

I've done it for longer than I can remember

archipelago · Sep 30, 2014 at 10:26 PM

Actually one of my earliest memories is of masturbation of a sort. I don't know exactly how old, maybe two or three, and I was rolling on a ball when my mother told me to not do that ever again. Of course I didn't know why she said that because I didn't know what I was doing, just that it felt good.

I did masturbate as a teen, but really didn't know what I was doing then either. It wasn't till much later that I did it in a deliberate way. It's not that I lacked interest. I just wasn't good at it and also have plenty of sexual activity, which seemed better.

Once I bought a toy and learned how to use it things changed. I was able to have very long and multiple orgasms, mostly without much work or need for fantasy. So I considered it a healthy development.

RTerroni · Oct 02, 2014 at 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWell

I have a friend who didn't start until her mid 20's. I told her that I thought it would help her orgasm with her boyfriend. Now she's into it.

I don't think there is any "should" when it comes to sex or sexuality.

What I have always said about masturbation is that you need to have some type of motivation to do so, if you have no motivation to masturbate than why would you do it all.

ChipperMonkey · Oct 05, 2014 at 11:39 PM

Everyone is different. I know most of my friends started as pre-teens or teens. I started as a young child (before I started school), but don't judge yourself based on me as I was sexually abused.

norwegianwoman · Oct 07, 2014 at 06:53 AM

I have some friends who have never masturbated, we're all around 23 now. I find that a bit weird, since I started when I was 11 and it has been a natural thing since. But they find ME weird for starting so early. :P One of them said she just didn't know how to do it. It's not really rocket science, just touch yourself until it feels good... :P If they don't have an urge to do it, I don't understand why they should do it. But I also think a lot of women seem to be more inhibited about this, feeling that it's wrong or embarrassing or afraid they're doing something wrong or whatever. Which in my opinion is a shame, it's completely natural.

hamster-bamster · Oct 12, 2014 at 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seraphic

How old were you when you started? How did you discover it? Was it something that you kept doing regularly once you did, or avoided? Did it always feel good?

I'm worried that my experience is abnormal and that I figured things out much later than others. I didn't figure out how to touch myself in a way that felt good until I was 20 - and even then, only did because I had a boyfriend and wanted to figure out how to have sex with him better, not because it was something that I enjoyed or was interested in personally. I felt very much like I was the odd one out because of that.

Like you - around 19-20, but I started alone and basically by accident. I heard of masturbation and tried to masturbate as a teen but since there was no sensation, I stopped - I could not comprehend what it was all about.

Probably a year or a year and a half passed until I could orgasm with a boyfriend, being 21.

There have been many threads about this both on this forum and on the one for women's issues, and yes, absolutely, 20 is on the later side of the range, but it is not abnormal or bad. It is just being a little late. I had very late puberty - maybe that is why I started late on solo sexuality.

seraphic · Oct 13, 2014 at 12:55 AM

Thanks, everyone who responded.

I'm also wondering whether it's normal (or if not normal, at least something that happens at all) to feel really grossed out with yourself and/or your body after masturbating? After the orgasm comes I have maybe a few seconds of feeling nice, and then on good days I start feeling neutral/disconnected from my body, and on bad ones I feel upset and disgusted. It seems like something is wrong with me but I don't know what it is or why.

hamster-bamster · Oct 13, 2014 at 07:02 AM

It is not normal, but it has been reported quite a bit, with varying causes. I have never experienced what you are describing, but I get post-orgasm headaches from time to time (not frequently) and they have been reported widely enough (I think somebody on here even pointed me to a Mayo clinic page about them) - so that goes towards "not everybody feels good after an orgasm at all times", but your description seems to show that your distress is psychological in nature, rather than physiological. It would be nice to figure out what it is, why it happens, and how to change it.

AppalachianAxis · Oct 13, 2014 at 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seraphic

Thanks, everyone who responded.

I'm also wondering whether it's normal (or if not normal, at least something that happens at all) to feel really grossed out with yourself and/or your body after masturbating? After the orgasm comes I have maybe a few seconds of feeling nice, and then on good days I start feeling neutral/disconnected from my body, and on bad ones I feel upset and disgusted. It seems like something is wrong with me but I don't know what it is or why.

All the time. Each and every time, in fact. I am racked by feelings of disgust and guilt, and those are the nicest things I feel. Which sucks really, because I feel compelled to masturbate a lot. This means I am biologically hard-wired to want to do something that I know is going to make me feel absolutely terrible.

seraphic · Oct 15, 2014 at 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AppalachianAxis

All the time. Each and every time, in fact. I am racked by feelings of disgust and guilt, and those are the nicest things I feel. Which sucks really, because I feel compelled to masturbate a lot. This means I am biologically hard-wired to want to do something that I know is going to make me feel absolutely terrible.

I'm fairly sure I had an anxiety spell after masturbating the other night, but I also feel compelled to do it though I'm not even sure why. The hormones I'm taking are only making it worse, too, testosterone ups your libido which is the opposite of what I want. I'd be happy if I never had to think about sexual anything ever again.

Sex upsets me, touching myself upsets me, and I don't know how to make that stop.

pisatel · Oct 16, 2014 at 01:10 AM

Yeah, I've done it since I was a kid but it wasn't sexual until i turned 15.

ifst5 · Oct 16, 2014 at 09:23 AM

I think i began at around the age of 12-13. At first i felt ashamed because i didn't really know what i was doing...it was only when i read more about it that the guilt lessened.

I'm mainly single so masturbation is important for my sexual health needs. But as always we're all different. Some people don't really bother and see it more as a hassle which is fine too.

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lunatic soul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2014 Location: somewhere Posts: 906 10 55 hugs given	Sep 29, 2014 at 09:36 AM #3 I started at very early age and didn't know what is that what I'm doing, I did know nothing about sex
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RTerroni Elder Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 5,751 11 2,136 hugs given	Sep 30, 2014 at 12:59 PM #6 I won't give out the exact age but I will just say that it was at a pretty mature age but I have been doing it regularly ever since. Recently though I have been doing it a lot, usually twice a day and sometimes three times. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022
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TheWell Carpe Diem Member Since Aug 2012 Location: New England, USA Posts: 4,312 12 631 hugs given	Sep 30, 2014 at 06:11 PM #7 I have a friend who didn't start until her mid 20's. I told her that I thought it would help her orgasm with her boyfriend. Now she's into it. I don't think there is any "should" when it comes to sex or sexuality.
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doyoutrustme Poohbah Member Since Jun 2012 Posts: 1,384 12 175 hugs given	Sep 30, 2014 at 06:17 PM #8 I've done it for longer than I can remember
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ChipperMonkey Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2014 Location: Somewhere/Anywhere/Nowhere Posts: 1,516 10 263 hugs given	Oct 05, 2014 at 11:39 PM #11 Everyone is different. I know most of my friends started as pre-teens or teens. I started as a young child (before I started school), but don't judge yourself based on me as I was sexually abused.
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pisatel Junior Member Member Since Oct 2014 Location: California Posts: 13 10	Oct 16, 2014 at 01:10 AM #18 Yeah, I've done it since I was a kid but it wasn't sexual until i turned 15.
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ifst5 Poohbah Member Since Nov 2010 Posts: 1,018 13 215 hugs given	Oct 16, 2014 at 09:23 AM #19 I think i began at around the age of 12-13. At first i felt ashamed because i didn't really know what i was doing...it was only when i read more about it that the guilt lessened. I'm mainly single so masturbation is important for my sexual health needs. But as always we're all different. Some people don't really bother and see it more as a hassle which is fine too.
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