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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10
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Oct 03, 2014 at 09:18 AM
#1
And I'm not a lesbian. I know that because the thought of touching another woman repulses me. I am definitely straight, and severely addicted to love with a man, just not sex. This has led to many relationships during my lifetime that have broken up due to my lack of sexual interest. After the romance, I am done.
I started watching porn at a very early age, and found ways to access it secretly for years. But I don't like touching myself either, so I don't masturbate. What happens is erotic images and reading makes me have an orgasm by just squeezing my legs together. It's almost an instinct to do that. I'm wondering if by getting into porn at such a young age (12), have I taught myself that I just want orgasms without physical sex? I'd really appreciate if anyone knows what might be going on with me, because it actually took me until I was 50 years old to realize that I had hated sex my whole life. Now I'm obsessed with trying to find out if I am the only one who has this very strange problem. |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Posts: 102
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Oct 03, 2014 at 11:24 AM
#2
Just a thought, but have you done any reading on asexuality? Based on what you've written, it kind of sounds like you might be heteroromantic (as in, romantically attracted to the opposite gender) but you might not necessarily be sexually attracted to them. Heterosexuality and heteroromanticism often go together, but not always. Some people who are asexual desire to be romantically close to others, but have no interested in sex.
Don't know if you think this sounds like your situation, but in case you're interested, here's a link to the asexuality wiki: Asexuality - AVENwiki. |
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 debdeb24
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10
10 2 hugs
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Oct 03, 2014 at 12:04 PM
#3
Actually, I did look into asexuality, and, for some reason thought that wasn't quite exactly me. I never heard of hetero romanticism, but that sounds a lot like me. Another weird thing is I'm very attracted to good looking men, and, especially while they are clothed. The male naked body does not phase me in the least. As a matter of fact, I think it's pretty gross. Just nothing attractive underneath those clothes.
And still also concerned about my closeted porn addiction at such a young age. Again, something I never realized until recently. I feel like my whole life was upside down now, and wish I could do a do over, and realize that just because I was boy crazy, didn't mean I desired sexual contact. I will look into assexuality again, as you suggested. Thank you. |
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 906
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Oct 03, 2014 at 04:52 PM
#4
DebDeb, are you still viewing porn? If the answer is yes, it might be a good idea to stop and if you can't do that on your own, it's possible to get some help.
I've heard a few women say watching porn made them feel asexual for a while. They didn't understand it. It just happened. Instead of getting turned on, they started to feel turned off to sexual encounters. But they still felt romantic and still loved their partners. They just didn't want to have sex. They didn't feel turned on. Their sexual feeling slowly returned when they quit viewing all porn. If they watched more porn, they lost their sex feelings again. The feelings slowly came back if they stopped looking at videos and magazines and other visual depictions, like strip clubs. They were talking about adult experiences. I don't know if it would apply to someone who started watching at 12, but it would be worth a try. I wish you the best. |
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debdeb24
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10
10 2 hugs
given |
Oct 04, 2014 at 12:00 PM
#5
Actually, I am 59 years old, and have finally realized that I do not want a man in my life for any reason. I reached that point after a few bad relationships after age 50. The last one, I told I did not want sex, but after he asked me to marry him, I think he expected it, and I did it and I hated it, and I broke it off. I have broken more relationships in my life than I can count.
I still view porn, but not with the same urgency, and not as often. It's actually a very rare occurance in my life now. But, I don't think viewing porn in my younger days had anything to do with the fact that I hate sex. I'm pretty sure I was destined to hate sex, but if view porn from a young age is the culprit that made me hate sex, then, I guess I'll never know. Wish I could stop obsessing over this issue. |
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 SnakeCharmer
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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