It's one of those mysteries of life for me. It seems as if random people have sex with random people...casual sex...or one person with a few partners...no strings as they say.
Does this REALLY happen and how did you get into it? I mean I tried my best and it never happened....seems like "everyone" was doing it but when I tried to get into some casual sex everyone seemed offended by the idea.
What'd I miss?

[vonmoxie]

It's always been my personal take that there's not actually a such thing as casual sex.. what's casual about stripping down to nothing, showing the parts that are always under wraps to others, and making noises you wouldn't dream of making in front of another person even for a theatrical production? It's a highly personal experience..

But for those that are able to see it as being definitively casual, I think it's possible that among other things narcissism could factor into it (so that the activity is viewed as centering around themselves and not both people), and potentially dissociation (they're there but they're not there). I do have some dissociation tendencies, myself, but for me it doesn't happen during that kind of activity.. I'm more meta-present in moments like that.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

After forty years my recollection is very hazy but I think people really do have casual sex, or at least used to, and I understand alcoholic beverages tended to be involved in many cases.

I don't judge, I just observe.

[Yoda]

I am monogamous when in a relationship but when I single I have been rather promiscuous. It was easy to find lovers when I used to attend EMS conferences.

Now that I am older I am celibate because there is nobody that could be as phenomenal in bed as my ex. Still I might be open to friends with benefits with the right person.......

[Angelique67]

Yes, it used to happen.

[norwegianwoman]

I am now not really do tempted for causal sex, as I have been in love and knows how much better sex is when there are feelings involved.

But yes, I've had casual sex. I even had a "friends with benefits" for quite some time when I was around 19. Can't really remember now how it started, I think we met at a party and argued/talked a lot and then we just went home and had sex, and we kept in touch and none of us ever felt anything for the other but we still met up for sex and sometimes we ate out together etc. too, but it was mostly about the sex/physical gratification. I never felt an ounce of love or fall for the guy in any way and I have not thought much about him after we stopped meeting. It was sort of weird as we did share something very intimate with each other, a proof of that is that when he got a girlfriend he suddenly nervously started texting me asking me about his performance in bed, what I'd liked/disliked, whether this or that was normal or not, so forth. I answered his questions as best I could and still didn't really feel anything except glad for him of course, like I would be for any friend/acquaintance who got a boyfriend/gilrfriend. We actually had very good sex together, I think it was because even though we didn't feel anything romantic at all we still opened up and dared try new stuff, and we were on different planets politically (think I am Elizabeth Warren and he is Rand Paul) so we argued/discussed a lot, which created great tension. Have actually thought to myself several times that if he becomes single again I wouldn't mind going back to our old arrangement.

I don't know if your a guy or a girl dose not say on your profile , but as a woman I can say finding a one night stand is easer then finding true friendship . How sad this that !

[ifst5]

I think this would surely depend on a persons definition of casual? There are those experiencing one night stands with people they're not greatly familiar with - but it's worth mentioning that many of these situations are preceded by drink and sometimes drugs. Is it advisable to have such an intimate experience with someone whose medical/personal background you know nothing of? I would think a responsible adult with the benefit of years of life experience knows the answer to that one.

Then there are those who have regular sex with people they claim to be friends with. I personally would suspect the level of emotional involvement - oftentimes either party has more invested feelings in the other but daren't rock the boat and risk the situation altering into something less advantageous then the current one.

In short, there are advantages and disadvantages to being at different stages in life. And sometimes the desire for an experience we feel we've missed out on can be stronger then the reality. Excitement comes with a lot of risk - the benefit of being a fully fledged adult is that we realize the implications. So many are without such foresight. All the best.

[Yismymindblank12]

I had one instance of it, interesting at best, but wasn't something I remember being as exciting as having sex with one of my ex's. This girl and I weren't dating she was going to have a boyfriend, but her bf knew she is more sexually active with others and it was all cool and consensual there was nothing with strings attached, because we were friends for many years. It just happened and afterwards we still chilled and talked as friends. Not going to lie it was strange, but I liked it.

[Patagonia]

There's so many people advertising for it on Craigslist. Any type of hook up possible. From plutonic to casual & anything in between

Originally Posted by SpiritOfAStorm

It's one of those mysteries of life for me. It seems as if random people have sex with random people...casual sex...or one person with a few partners...no strings as they say.
Does this REALLY happen and how did you get into it? I mean I tried my best and it never happened....seems like "everyone" was doing it but when I tried to get into some casual sex everyone seemed offended by the idea.
What'd I miss?

Offended until the night club opens , doing some speed , Having a few drinks , touching to opposite sex , turned down lights , It just happens .

Then lets repeat that because it was FUN !

[Raindropvampire]

Not only did it used to happen it's still in full swing. You just have to know where to look.

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Not only did it used to happen it's still in full swing. You just have to know where to look.

Sex is not that big deal to the "Casual Lovers " , Maybe a inability to delay gratification , like eating too much Chocolate .

[Blitter2014]

Why is there so much emphasis put on sex rather than focusing on real friendship? I would rather have my soalmate to be with over casual sex anyday.

(I think I have officially turned into an old fart)

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

Why is there so much emphasis put on sex rather than focusing on real friendship? I would rather have my soalmate to be with over casual sex anyday.

(I think I have officially turned into an old fart)

The answer is " Narcissism " they don't want a relationship with anyone , unless they have something they want. The thrill is the control of people , not the sex.

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

Why is there so much emphasis put on sex rather than focusing on real friendship? I would rather have my soalmate to be with over casual sex anyday.

(I think I have officially turned into an old fart)

Because sex is shoved in our face constantly by society because sex sells.

My opinion, humans are hyper stimulated when it comes to sex. Other animals have mating rituals and they're not constantly at it.

Originally Posted by Bad Boy

The answer is " Narcissism " they don't want a relationship with anyone , unless they have something they want. The thrill is the control of people , not the sex.

By Jove I think you've got it!

Originally Posted by SpiritOfAStorm

By Jove I think you've got it!

Thanks , Regarding a " Narcissist " its all about control , because there is only Himself in this world .