[hcm172]

Hello everyone,
I'll start off by saying, I feel pretty dumb asking advice about such a silly, insignificant matter, especially seeing how important issues are adressed around here but I'll do it anyway. If you have the patience and politeness to read the whole post and assist me I would greatly appreciate it.

So, I like this girl and we're kind of friends lately. We've actually been in the same class for almost 2 years now but until recently we had never, ever spoken to each other. She probably viewed me as another boring guy. Several weeks ago, however, I accidentally found myself with her and a few other girls defending and debating in favor of atheism and that was the first time I interacted with her. The same day I stayed after class with the same girls and discussed about other subjects such as music, love, movies and so on. There, I found out we had a lot in common and realised I realy enjoyed her company. As you can imagine, we began to know each other a bit better and that's how I started liking her even more and eventually wanting her. At this point you will probably ask me, what's the problem?

Well, the problem is ME. I really wanna flirt or do something with her. However, I tend to overthink things and feel like there are many obstacles I have to overcome. First of all, I am very shy, socially awkward and unconfident about my physical appearance. It would be very hard for me to express my feellings for her and even harder (assumming she likes me back) to do something about it. I also absolutely HATE to draw attention, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I know I wasn't able to do it before. I liked a girl and she eventually went away and having done nothing about it I felt horrible. Another thing is, if she rejects me I worry we won't be able to stay friends and as I said I really like being around her. I had thought of other things that scare me but can't remember anything else at the moment.

Right now, she's gone for holidays and will be back in a week or so. Yesterday, I made a viber account and added her. I didn't expect to chat too much be we really did. We ended up chatting until 4am. We're able to talk about taboo subjects without any problem and I feel remotely confident texting to her. I haven't given her any reason to believe I'm into her. My heart tells me do something, my brain tells me to wait.

What are your thoughts? What should I do?

You did the right thing by making an account and added her as a friend , because if your shy and have a hard time talking face to face this is a great ice breaker !

If you to talked to her for hours that is a good sign , when you see her in person it will be much easer .

Ask her out on a date go see a movie , if you don't then she will think you only like her as a friend , so I am pushing you to ask her out !

If you wait then some other guy will ask her out so do it now while she is single !

Ok

[LiteraryLark]

Awww what a sweet story! Ive dated shy guys and i used to be really shy, too. What i would do is to have unofficial "dates". Simply ask her to hang out, get a cup of coffee, go for a walk. Dont call it a date yet. Let her decide. If you hang out casually, you will get a sense of what she is like outside of school, and if she is interested, she may say so or flirt or show signs. Build up the friendship first. Best romances already have established a close friendship. So wait until you both feel very close, then invite her to somewhere more romantic, or make it appoint to spend time watching movies at each others houses. Best of luck!

[Bill3]

I second Dr Skipper's advice!

[seraphic]

If you start up a friendship with her, DON'T assume that she wants to move into anything else unless she indicates so. It may be that a romantic relationship naturally forms out of friendship, but if it doesn't then it's ok to step back and ask her out on a date - which is a frightening risk, but better than waiting and pining away hoping something will happen on its own. Unless you make it clear that you have romantic intentions, she may not know you're interested!

In general, I think it's a bad idea to try to get closer and closer to someone in hopes that romance will "just happen." Often times, that means that one person ends up feeling very hurt and upset if the other isn't interested, and just wants a close friendship. You sound like you'd like to be friends with her even if she doesn't want to date you - if so, and you're worried about things being awkward if she says no, I think the easiest way to make things comfortable is to very clearly say what you're feeling: that you are interested in pursuing something more, but if not then you are happy to remain friends. This gives her a clear choice as opposed to feeling pressured one way or another: it would be very hard to maintain a friendship she feels like the *only* way to stay on positive terms with you is dating you. If you make it clear that friendship IS still an option, there is a good chance she will take it. (This is assuming a worst-case scenario where she doesn't want to go on a date, but that doesn't mean this will happen of course!)

I hope that's helpful! I'm really shy too, and I know it's so nerve-wracking to be so open with someone you like, but it feels so good to get things in the open. Best of luck whatever you do!

[hcm172]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I appreciate all of your well-thought answers.