Slipping from recovery. Female sex addiction.

I’m new here. I’m a female with a sex addiction and married to a man with a sexual addiction (His is compulsive masturbation to porn). I’ve been in recovery 7 years. I married five years ago and my husband was aware of my addiction and recovery. This is a second marriage for both of us. I’m 50, he’s 57. I was divorced for 12 years prior to our marriage and had an extremely active sex life. He had been divorced 10 years and had not been sexually active in a healthy way. My sexual style is fun with lots of variety and experimenting. Sex and intimacy with no commitment. His is very conservative and somewhat puritan. Our sex life has become non-existent over the past 18 months and I recently discovered that he also has a sex addiction and now suffers from ED due to chronic masturbation. He did not reveal this to me before or during our marriage. We’re separated right now because my discovery of his addiction and his dishonesty has triggered my sexual compulsions to act out. It’s not healthy for me to be around him right now. We are working on therapy and recovery individually and together. I recently learned that his addiction is a result of abuse by his mother and possibly his father when he was very young. He’s been diagnosed with a personality disorder which further complicates recovery, for both of us. He is resistant within the therapy to address the abuse. My own sexual compulsions are growing stronger by the day and more difficult to resist. I haven’t went outside the marriage for sex, but after this long dry spell along with waiting for him to break through his emotional barriers, I’m ready to have my own needs met. I have several single male friends that I’ve shared sexual benefits with before I married and it would be easy to resume those old relationships…I’m only interested in fulfilling my sexual needs and some type of sexual intimacy again, only temporary. I’m torn in two directions – Stay faithful and maybe work it out, or just give in to my needs outside of the relationship while hoping that my husband might be able to handle recovery and commit to long-term treatment. I do love him, but I’m tired and lonely of waiting for him to dig deep and work harder on this. Two sex addicts married together with very different compulsions and desires. Not a promising outlook. I’m hanging on to my recovery by a thread.

Hi, Jinxcat9. I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I no what is like. I've been a recovering sex addict for 14 years. My heart goes out to you.

Jinxicat9 to Psych Central. You will find you are not alone here.