Got a weird question about masterbation abuse

When I was little, about 7 or 8, I use to make the family dogs masterbate with a blanket when he did something wrong. I have no idea why and I'm not even sure if I understood what I was doing but I remember PUNISHING him this way. Getting a blanket, rubbing it on his genitals while yelling at him for not eating his food and then locking him in food pantry with the blanket.
This memory is kind of freaking me out. I remember my brother saying our bio-father would put him up high on the fridge (my brother was afraid of heights) make him watch porn and masterbate. Do you think this has anything to do with my punishing the dog with masterbation?
I just remembered this and I feel so bad- I don't think I hurt the dog in anyway but it's really, very weird and I feel bad that I use to violate the dog like that.

First of all, you need to learn to forgive yourself. Were you abused like your brother was? Perhaps you were simply doing that to your dog to cope with your own pain and abuse...its amazing what humans do to survive their environment...i feel bad for the dog..however its over with now and you realize it and hopefully your getting help and i know that your a good person...dont feel so bad...i would speak to someone professional about that...perhaps you felt if you did that to the dog you were somehow taking away pain from your brother? It sounds weird but its like a validation..remember you dont have to answer these questions out loud since they are inimate and personal but just think about the relativity...and pm me if you need to talk...no worries..i support you and i know you were only alittle boy..you have to forgive yourself for this...good luck
inny

Hi Inacorner,
I was a little girl. I'm pretty sure it's one of the ways my biofather abused me. Making me masterbate with a blanket. I was only a little kid so I don't remember but my doing this to the dog makes me wonder if he did something like that to me. It's not like I enjoyed it or felt any pleasure from it,
I find it odd that I chose THAT form of punishment for the dog-the only thing younger, smaller and more vulnerable than myself.
I was a small kid who didn't even really understand what masterbation was. It had to be a way he abused me. I've blocked most of it out and that annoys the hell out of me. I get to suffer the emotional after effects from the abuse but I am not allowed to remember what the abuse was. So, how the heck am I supposed to fix something I can't see? What am I supposed to work with?
Anyway, do you/anyone think that that could be the case?

oooppppsss...lol my bad....i dont know why i put boy...gezz my apologies
and yes i think it has plenty to do with it
i think you should go to a therapist who maybe does hypthotherapy? And take it from there...i wish you luck i think it could be the case...

I was told by a couple of male therapists that I froze up whenever I was alone in a room with them. One therapist thought it was so bad that we had our session out in a public area-in a private area.
This was awhile ago but it bugs me because I wasn't even aware of it and I wonder if I'm still like that.
I hate not being able to remember crap. Hypnotherapy scares the heck out of me. I don't think I could trust anyone enough to let them hypnotise me. But that was a good suggestion.
Thanks for your support. I hope that you're feeling okay. (((((((((((Inacorner))))))))))))

hey. for you to have done that... i'm fairly sure you would have picked that up from somewhere. little kids are pretty good at imitating. imitating parents especially. it is possible that your father did that to punish you, but it could also be the case that you picked it up from seeing your father do that to punish your brother.

> It had to be a way he abused me.

possibly... sometimes the past is one of those things that resists being neatly categorised into facts about what really happened. sometimes we resist that and force categories on regardless, but it is possible to process stuff in the present without committing oneself to facts about the past either way.

you work with feelings and desires and urges and rememberings that you have in the present. part of understanding them and moving on from them can involve initially elaborating them. the majority of people have more or less of a degree of certainty in things that are more or less accurate to the facts and more or less confabulations offered in our attempt to understand and find peace.

i think that a good therapist is able to work with someone to process this stuff without taking a stance either way on the veridicality or otherwise of memories. i also think that it is possible for a person to process their stuff without taking a stance either way on the veridicality or otherwise.

but this is of course a controversial issue and thousands would disagree with me.

Yeah, I agree that it's something you probably picked up from your father. Masturbation is supposed to be a healthy, natural thing, and your father turned it into something dirty and shameful.

Going to therapy keeps coming up with me. I don't think I'd like online therapy so I guess I'll have to find a face to face therapist. It's really scary for me. I don't have good experiences with therapists. I wish there was a way for me to know a really good therapist in the area but she/he would probably be too expensive.
What you said about possibly seeing my brother (or maybe even one of my sisters?) being punished in this way is interesting to me. I've never thought about that.
I was a really messed up little kid. Geez. Bullying some poor girl at school, making the dog masterbate with a blanket, talking to imaginary friends...
Oh well.

Oh, I almost forgot... ((((((((Pat))))))))) , (((((((((Alexandra))))))))))))) and ((((((((Maven)))))))))

Well, we're all at least a little messed up here, so you're not alone! Let's have a messed-up party!

And most of us had imaginary friends growing up. Some of mine weren't invisible; they were my stuffed animals, ROFL!

My stuffed "bear" was something of a mix between a dog and a rabbit. His name was Tommy. (((((Tommy)))) I regret throwing him out when I "grew up". I miss him.
Par-Tay!!!!!

Pickle,

Did you find a therapist in your area?

What scares you about Hypnotherapy?

This post is a month or so old, so I thought I would revive it to see how you are doing.

Rick