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Supreme Artisan
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 6,618
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Apr 05, 2015 at 07:24 PM
#1
My BF and I slept together with eachother for the first time last night. He and I were both nervous and he couldn't maintain an erection for very long. No matter how many times I tried to stimulate him manually, and got him hard, he kept going soft as he tried to penitrate me.
He and I weren't virgins before we met, but it had been a while since either of us had sex. He felt embarassed and I really tried hard to comfort him and tell him I didn't think him any less of a man because of his inability to preform. How can I help him (and myself) fix this problem. He's very shy and really sweet, and I just don't want him to feel bad about this. __________________  MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader 
Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,800
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Apr 05, 2015 at 07:43 PM
#2
Stop trying to have sex. Be intimate. Start out saying we are not going to join. But we are going to explore intimacy together.
Sometimes exercise or yoga can be a good start followed by a shower. Then quiet music and being with each other with no possible interruptions. Backrubs on each other can release a lot of tension and anxiety. You do not need training just trust your hands to be gentle. Being near each other without any touching or light touching to non erogenous zones. After 15 minutes or a half hour maybe more playful flirting with each other. Touching can lead to the woman's climax several times. Any stage along the way may be a place to stop. Asking each other if you are comfortable can be a gateway to trust. If you think of someone who may have been emotionally abused, then seeing your partner in that way may deepen the relationship. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 360
11 320 hugs
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Apr 06, 2015 at 01:09 PM
#3
My bf had the same thing happen the first time we fooled around, except he really didn't get an erection at all. He had been around the block many times back in the day, but it had been a long dry spell for him. He was very embarrassed, but I know that these things can be perpetuated if you make a big deal out of them. So I shrugged it off, told him it wasn't a big deal, and that I thoroughly enjoyed what we did do. The next time we got together, a few days later, the problem was solved.
 So my advice would be to reassure him that it's no big deal, but don't go overboard with trying to comfort him or keeping that conversation going. Focus on telling him what you did enjoy. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,882
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Apr 06, 2015 at 02:48 PM
#4
The guy I am seeing is 57 and he couldn't do anything the first time he assumed he has a disease that he can't get up or is old or he needs to see a doctor (which at 57 could be just aging) well guess what starting 2nd time there is no issue. He is doing just fine. He is also shy even though he is older and has 3 kids but he also had no sex for long time
But overall just be affectionate touch and kiss and forget about sex it will come eventually Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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