new sexual poly interest

Hello. I am 29 yr old woman with a boyfriend of almost 10 years and no children. If I had to use an orientation, it'd be bisexual but I prefer not to label myself that way I do love women more though. We are also polyamorous, although, not active doing it and still new to it because of life situations but I did have a girlfriend for myself 6 yrs ago and it didn't workout between her and I. I haven't been with a woman since because it left me bitter by what she did but women always caught my eye been masturbating to lesbian porn for a long time.

I have been noticing my sex drive has increased a lot and we started to become part of the kink lifestyle since I want to explore more of my kinks and sexuality it has been a great experience so far. We want to be active in the community all the time, but right now we are not in a position to do that yet. I told my boyfriend how I would like to have either a female fwb and a girlfriend (romantic one) later on. We talk about everything and I don't ask to have women in our relationship just because he is a man, I have my own rights/feelings too.

Anyway, I told my boyfriend how I'd like for him to start dating my future girlfriend with me which shocked him. He has told me he only wants me as I am the only woman for him, but would date her for my sake not for his benefit. We have never done this before and would like to see how this work out for us. He said if it is too much for me, he won't date my future gf and will just have me date her only. This is why I would see how this would work especially with a fwb before this could turn out to be a relationship with another woman. I told him my fears and me jealousy that I don't want to be compared sexually or feeling left out. We were talking about compersion (those who are poly would know what I am talking about) the joy of seeing your partner spending time with another partner - same feeling when you enjoy a friend spend time with other friends except it isn't romantic.

I did get some advice from a woman I met about this and said I would have to experience it myself just keep talking to your man about your feelings and communicate. I am wondering for those who are poly and have partners in your lives, how did you deal with jealousy the very 1st time bringing in a new partner for all of you to date or however you arranged it? How should a beginner poly couple work this out? I am not asking those who would never consider this or aren't poly.

Bumping your post back up to the top of the discussion list, since it's been sitting here, for two days, unanswered.

Hope you get some answers about the fear of jealousy.

Well I hate to say it but there will always be some comparison, its only natural as person. The best way for you to view it is that you are going to be different from anyone else. That does not mean necessarily better or worse just different. for example I can enjoy both apples and oranges equally while still comparing their differences. what I'm getting at with this is its a POV.

I would suggest starting with group dating so that you are spending equal time with her to begin with. You can also set up a discrete gesture to let him know its time for him to pay attention to you, and vice versa something like squeezing his hand.

He may also start to feel jealous, wondering if he is unable to satisfy you. He may ask himself why you need someone else, so reassure him that he is your man and spend some alone time with him if he starts to look uncomfortable.

Go slow to begin with and make sure you are both comfortable every step of the way. Good communication is necessary.

True. However, he doesn't get uncomfortable knowing I want a relationship with a woman since I never really got a chance to date enough women before meeting him.