[Charlie12]

Hi I am a first time user of this site and forum and don't know where to start. I am 28, married for 2 years and have been masturbating to facebook now for almost 5 years. I have a healthy sexual relationship with my wife but I still have to masturbate in my free time when I feel I won't get the attention from my wife. It got to the point that I created a fake fb account, with a fake alias all so I could masturbate and chat with other females . I have come here to seek advice as my wife found out and my marriage is in schambles. I always tried to justify my masturbation as a coping mechanism for my sexual urges. The material is what is the issue. It started off as porn, then facebook, then messaging girls on facebook even some of my wife's friends under the alias with no desire to connect but to simply live out a fantasy.

I'm not in a relationship and I am suffering from masturbating a lot, and it's enjoyable definitely, but I'm spending most of my time to do it. I cannot imagine having that problem while also being in a relationship. Much prayers for you buddy.

It sounds like there is some need in your life that is not being met. This isn't necessarily a sexual need, but could be emotional. Do you desire more emotional closeness or human interaction and closeness? It is possible that these basic human needs are manifesting themselves in a sexual way.
This doesn't make you wrong or bad, but could be indicative of something that needs addressing in your life. Do you have a therapist to process this with?
I wonder if your wife would find it easier to understand if you tried to explain your behaviour with emotional honesty as best you can, and seek help from either an individual therapist or marriage counselor. Making steps to change your behaviour might help to show your wife you are still committed to the relationship and would also be a great first step in addressing your unmet needs in a healthy way.

[bighands]

Originally Posted by Charlie12

Hi I am a first time user of this site and forum and don't know where to start. I am 28, married for 2 years and have been masturbating to facebook now for almost 5 years. I have a healthy sexual relationship with my wife but I still have to masturbate in my free time when I feel I won't get the attention from my wife. It got to the point that I created a fake fb account, with a fake alias all so I could masturbate and chat with other females . I have come here to seek advice as my wife found out and my marriage is in schambles. I always tried to justify my masturbation as a coping mechanism for my sexual urges. The material is what is the issue. It started off as porn, then facebook, then messaging girls on facebook even some of my wife's friends under the alias with no desire to connect but to simply live out a fantasy.

I have to agree with EM. Porn in and of itself is probably distasteful to your wife but compared to having secret relationships with real people, I'd think it pales in comparison. Whether you realize it or not, you were having emotional affairs with these people and your wife no doubt feels cheated on and betrayed. If you want to stay with your wife, my advise would be to be completely honest with your wife and get yourself some counseling. If you were doing this for 3 years even before you were married, there's something going on that you really need to get control of.

Good luck.