Having a FB :>

So. This pertains to having a casual relationship with someone who you can errrr - 'contact' when you would like to ...have rumpity-pumpity, do the beast with two backs, get laid ... however you like to describe it :>

You can booty call them at leisure, and they you.

Advantages are that you get to know each other well (e.g. what you like hehe), sex is almost on tap, and you aren't sleeping with someone new every time you have sex.

Anyway - I was wondering if anyone else does this. My ex-bf was my most recent as we are often in the same city for work. And I have a friend who just got back from Australia who I ... utilise sometimes (and he me, of course).

For me it is the perfect solution for now - my head is not in a space to have a relationship right now, but I still like sex and being sexy ... :>

/end weird post

sure. i used to do that. i had a good friend and we were very compatible in bed even though there was no way that either of us were the right life partner for the other.

it worked out great for a while.

it ended maybe a year before i moved, though. how come? well... kind of hard to say... i just... didn't want to do that with him anymore. his father died. he got depressed. i was there for him as a friend. then... his personality kinda changed... i think he was getting a bit old too... weird. i'm typically attracted to people who are older than me but he kind of... well his age started catching up with him, i guess. we used to talk through the night and stuff. then he kind of didn't want to do anything 'cause of work and he started getting a bit set in his ways... we remained friends but the reciprocal sex thing was over.

could have done that again here with someone else... but i kind of didn't want to. not sure why.

i think... i'm at the point... where i would like to have a healthy relationship with someone who i really want to try and make things work with. dunno... guess i'm seeing how therapy is going to pan out with respect to my fears of intimacy and the like...

not sure what is up with me...

i miss sex though. i surely surely do

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alexandra_k said:
i think... i'm at the point... where i would like to have a healthy relationship with someone who i really want to try and make things work with. dunno... guess i'm seeing how therapy is going to pan out with respect to my fears of intimacy and the like...

not sure what is up with me...

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Me too... Here is wishing us both success with that.

I have talked to my T recently about this ...and I think that it could work well.. for others. We also spoke of how teens and older now often "hook up" without knowing what can be behind it. He speaks of what a problem this is and what problems this will provide in the future with kids ability to connect emotionally.

Otherwise.. would like to have a buddy... hopefully with a connection of the emotional as well.

Hmmm well I drove the last potential (old friend who popped up out of the blue recently) away rather successfully when I accidentally told him some stuff (the d-word, etc).

Before that things were getting lovely and flirtatious and coffee-like etc. Plenty of good innuendo.

Until I opened my mouth and verbally vomited all over what had at least some potential (we used to be really close but somehow never actually hooked up - lived in different cities for some of that time too).

So i suppose ...FB is more what I want right now because it's kinda what I have GOT right now ...

Hmmmm.

DSF what's the "d-word" ?

second subforum down under 'mental health' :/

I'd love to listen to you say this stuff "have rumpity-pumpity, do the beast with two backs, get laid ... however you like to describe it :> " in your kiwi accent!

still lost DSF "d-word" if it's too naughty to type PM it to me!

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Zen888 said:
I'd love to listen to you say this stuff "have rumpity-pumpity, do the beast with two backs, get laid ... however you like to describe it :> " in your kiwi accent!



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:P heheheheheheheheheheeh

d-word is
d
e
p
r
e
s
s
i
o
n


i don/t like it so i call it d-word

gottcha! excuse my blondeness!

hehe ... excuse my 'aversion'.

Lol, I quote Churchill and call it the "black dog". It's weird tho, cause I used to have an actual black dog...

Anyway the FB thing can be fun, but it's definitely messy... you gotta be sure that one of you doesn't want more emotionally than the other. But when it works, it's great!

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drunksunflower said:
You can booty call them at leisure, and they you.

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We call that.............................. Friends with Benefits.

LOVE it Rhap

rap thats what i was "friends with extras"

sometimes it was real good
sometimes not
no emotional attachment just physical
for one it last like 2 almost 3yrs...
still friends with him just no extras
since ive fallen for my 'hoser' (as tymby calls him)[bfis canadian case u didnt know / understand]

so, strictly hypothetical, is a married guy off limits for this arrangement?
the assumed answer is yes, i would guess.
now it becomes an affair.
so, the lines start to blur...where/when/how does it end?
or, more likely, what if the intended FB has a gf....see...how do you keep track of all this, what are the rules?
sounds like it could be a little bit more complicated than you make it out to be.....

well... the first FB i had was married when i slept with him. they had seperated, however. but even when they were together they had a somewhat open relationship so his wife probably wouldn't have minded if it happened prior to the seperation even.

we did that for maybe... a year? then... i didn't see him around much... then i started hearing things from my friends and realised... that he was hanging out with this other chick. i was cool with that. well... i missed him a little. but we didn't sleep together during the time that he became very interested in her and we didn't sleep together during the time that he was sleeping with her. i thought they could have made a great couple, actually, with long term potential. she turned out to be a little too 'straight' for him and a bit demanding that he change (drink less, smoke less mj, smoke less cigarettes, not hang out with his corrupted friends). so... he gave her the flick and we resumed a while after.

it can work out okay. but there is the potential for hurt too, to be sure.

after we had been together for a couple months... i went away for a couple months. just before i left... both of us came to the realisation that i'd pretty much moved into staying with him. seeing him every day or every second day. for two people who were FB's we seemed to be jolly serious and committed to each other. it was amazing though... he broached it... and i felt relieved.

there was a time when he got a little too attached to me. i guess he did say things at various points... he'd say 'i wish we could stay together properly' and i was like 'there is the right person for you out there somewhere and i'm not her'. and i'm not. but i think i might have hurt him a little... but he never got clingy. dunno. worked out well for a time...

I can't do the FB thing. I tried, and got all entangled with my emotional attachment to the fella! It ended badly...for me, at least, rather humiliating actually. I just can't be casual about sex, as I seem to equate it with LOVE, which it is NOT!

Patty

Well right now i live with my ex, we broke up over six months ago, but still occasionally have sex. Therefore, its perfect for my needs for the moment.

Hi All,
Not to get off topic, but I have to share a little chuckle I had reading this topic. I work in the medical field and a FB is a foreign body. I thought, who would want to have a "foreign body?"

This ACTUAL topic is far more interesting....

Okie