Found innapropriate video on my boyfriends phone

Hello, new here but need advice from male perspective please.
Yesterday I had good reason to think my boyfriend had innapropriate content on his phone. I checked and found My gut was right on. He had been following coworkers and videotaping their asses while they walked. There were videos of girls asses at the park, beach when we were together and while he is supposed to be doing homework at Starbucks. No faces, just asses. We normally are very open about sexual desire and trying an array of things in bed. We have made our own videos even. He understands that I am okay with porn and web pics of girls. This took it to another level making me feel sad and disappointed. I also found pictures of people we know, even my 22 year old daughter. Note: we have both been sexually abused as children. I confronted him and he was embarassed ashamed and depressed. He hasn't cheated on me and otherwise is a fantastic boyfriend. I understand that you have to have new material to get the next "high". But this to me is more strange, disgusting and beyond my comprehension.

What are your honest thoughts please. Thank you in advance.

Videotaping people's asses when they walk-- and taking photos of your daughter!!!-- is a violation of their rights and privacy. If he is doing this, that means he has problems with impulse control and is putting his desire for sexual gratification before the rights of others He's also attracted to your daughter, which seems very problematic. I'm sure she would feel violated and repulsed if she knew. As her mom, this can't be okay with you. It sounds like this guy has some very serious problems. Do you really want to be with someone who is looking at all of your friends and family members to fulfill his sexual needs?

Hi Tiki,

Nice to see you here!

I'll admit to reading this and being at a loss as to what to say because I find your partners behaviour disturbing

I hope for your sake, that the underlying reason that compels him to do this is resolved so that he doesn't violate your friends and your daughter's respect in this manner again.

Ick Ick Ick ,, Just Ick and Disgusting that he would do this to your own daughter No No No ,

I would explode and probably be arrested for beating him senseless and half to death with his phone, not to mention a bat.

I'm not typically a violent person but the fact he included your daughter in this ... hell no !

I'd run as fast as I could. Not someone I would trust at all. Be glad he is only a boyfriend, not a husband, and move on.

Definitely a lot of red flags here. Especially him having a picture of your daughter. This is very disturbing! Not someone I'd recommend having romantic ties to.

Wow I was going to be somewhat lenient on him thinking maybe he just had some kind of weird fetish for behinds, but...your daughter? That crossed the line big time. I wouldn't be able to look past that. Not only that, but if he's doing that at work - I'm pretty sure he can get sued for that, or at the very least fired. If I was your daughter and I found out about this I would feel beyond disgusted. He should feel embarrassed.

Your daughter????? And you have to ask if that's ok? Photographing asses? And you are considering staying with him?!!!

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I think photographing your daughter is definitely over the line. Boys will be boys but in my opinion that is disrespectful of both you and your daughter

I'm curious. If he's still in school and you have a 22 year old daughter, is he younger than you? If he was a good bit younger than you, it could explain (not excuse) his problem with impulse control and attraction to a younger girl.

Yeah, if I had a daughter, and my boyfriend was taking pictures of her behind, I'd dump him so fast he'd get whiplash. Your number 1 priority is the safety of your daughter, and to get her as far away from this sleazeball as possible.

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He obviously has impulsive control issues and crossed a line, but perhaps ask him to go to therapy with you to discuss it rather than ditching him for that reason alone as some suggestions. While therapy can be expensive, I think it may be worth it.

Last time I checked, it is completely legal to videotape people in a public place, therefore, I don't see a problem with that.

Your daughter on the other hand? That could be an issue. Is he younger than you and is it his biological daughter? If he is younger than you and it isn't his biological daughter, then I would confront him about it and consider taking him to therapy, but not outright break up with him over it because it is biologically healthy and normal for men to be attracted to women younger than them.

No No NO ! its not natural to look at younger women and video tape them when that younger woman is your girlfriends daughter ! No way!

Since the OP hasnt returned I hope that she making decisions about this behavior..

If the daughter isn't a biological one but a step one, then from a biological standpoint it is natural for a human male to be sexually attracted to younger women. From a moral standpoint, you're right, it isn't.

I still don't think it's grounds for immediate separation. I still think that my suggestion about a confrontation and taking him to therapy is the most logical solution.

Totally out of bounds. Make sure that he stays far, far away from your daughter. You wouldn't want him to actually take advantage of her! I would not put it past this maniac either. He clearly has no respect for you, for her, or anyone else. The fact that he did this in and of itself is completely illegal and wrong. Stay away from the guy, he is a predator.

As a guy, I say your right he is wrong. He should share his wants with you. As for your 22 year old daughter, creepy. Now if you truly have an open relationship in the aspects you are intimating here. I need to ask, why did you look at his phone? Does he do that to you? Is there under lying jealousy that needs to be brought up. I hope you work through this with him. I definitely wouldn't do this to someone I am dating, but I would also want to have a bit of privacy in some aspects. But be open and honest with each other, maybe he was doing it for you, or he just needed a new perversion. Stay strong and I hope that you can work this all out.