Boys or girls?

I've always been attracted to both men and women, but dated and married men, because it was easier. However, I'm starting to think its time for a change. I think I like women better. I dont know for SURE-havent gone all the way- but I made out with a girlfriend in a bar and that was fun. And I got and lap dance and that was fun..but as far as a relationship-the whole thing seeems so complicated: explaining to kids, parents, where to meet people, stupid, legal problems about insurance, being able to marry..

I dont know if its just becasue Ive been hurt by so many men...but wouldnt it make sense that two women would get along better? Wouldnt we think more alike and be more sensitive to each other? I think I may just like women better as people.Is that overgeneralizing too much? I think I fall in love with the person, not the body so should I just stick to men becasue its easier? Relationshipwise, they have been irritating the crap out of me lately..

Any ideas? Clearly I am confused. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I think a lot of us ask ourselves this very same question. I too have been attracted to both but have always dated men. I don't know if I date men because its easier or if thats just the way it has worked out. I think that if I had met a woman who I was falling in love with, I would have tried it.

In all my past relationships, I'd always wonder "is there anyone else out there?" Now I'm finally in a relationship with a man where that question ceases to come up. I feel in love with who he is....now if he had been a woman, I probably would have fallen in love with that woman.

I've said for years that I wouldn't limit myself to a specific gender, but I never labeled myself as bi or anything....I don't know how to describe it. It wasn't necessarily out of frustration with men (though there were countless times when I said I was gonna try the other team haha). I think for me, I was always able to see things in anyone, male or female, that attracted me, and I wasn't willing to limit myself.

Yes, I agree that a same-sex relationship would be more difficult then a hetero one....I think that love would overpower that for me, but I wouldn't know, because I never did it.

I guess the saying "to thine own self be true" comes to mind. Do what feels right for you, not what feels right by others.

Good topic btw.

I have been in relationships with men and women. I can’t give you advice on which is better—that is something you will need to decide. For myself, I always felt more connected to the women. I have been in a relationship with a man for 6 years and I am ready to break it off because I feel so strongly attracted to women. I feel like there is a piece of the puzzle missing. But, that could mean I just have not found the right guy. And, by the way, women have probably hurt me (relationship wise) as much or more than men. It is a tough call. Following your heart may mean the path you choose will not be the easist.

Thank you both....you gave me some things to think about. I guess relationships are never simple, with men or women.. maybe I should just date a lot and see who I meet...is there like a lesbian secret handshake or something :

I was attracted to girls by age 12, but didn't realize what it was all about. Coincidentally, the guy I fell in love with at 16 and dated until I was 18 was bi-sexual but wouldn't admit it (he had been caught). I married a man who I dated for 5 years and divorced a year and a half later.

I later lived with a guy (coincidentally same first name as the ex-husband) for about a year.

One day I came to realize that I wanted women, so I put a personal ad in the paper and met a woman who I spent the next 10 years with. I ended the relationship 2 years ago and have not looked for anyone since. In that time I decided to concentrate on my new found sobriety and followed the twelve step rule of no relationships in the first year.

Began feeling very lonely in the last six months and have thought about venturing out. Surprising to me - I started thinking about men again - boy confusing! Not sure at all what I want. I like the emotional closeness of a woman and the protected feeling of a man.

So, now I just call myself an "equal opportunity lover". I've decided I will not look for anything specific and if I end up attracted to a man or woman so be it - whatever happens will be for the right reason.

-Tranquility

Hey, Just...
I've often thought I'd be better off with a female partner, since, like you, I've had so many horrendous and hurtful experiences with men....But I just don't feel attraction to women. Also, LOL, now don't feel attraction to MEN either!
Patty