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Baleful
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Default Sep 13, 2015 at 08:53 PM
  #1
About a year ago I started considering that I mat be asexual, but before I had always assumed I was straight.
I've never been in an intimate or sexual relationship and I'm just about out of high school, but I've also never exactly tried to get in one. Eventually I realized that I am still capable of "falling in love" with other people, all of which have been male, but I don't want a sexual relationship at the same time... It's really confusing. I suppose I only want an emotional/romantic relationship, you could say, but I don't think the same way about girls as I do about guys. I can still find guys attractive. I also think that I could be in a (minimally) sexual relationship in some cases and if it is absolutely with the right person if that is what they want. I did a little research on it, so would I be a heteroromantic graysexual?
I know a lot of people say that "labels" and such don't matter, but in the end I think I'm just curious and I can still always change to become whatever else, and I wanted to hear other peoples opinions. Please tell me any thoughts on this, thanks!

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FNMM
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Default Sep 14, 2015 at 06:39 PM
  #2
Hmmm. I think you would need to get into a relationship with someone on a romantic and spiritual level at first and see where it leads you. The fact that you can think of having an even "minimal" sexual relationship with someone means you definitely aren't asexual! Best thing to do would be to try out a relationship and see where it leads you. From what I'm reading, it seems like you are a straight female who just isn't as interested in a sexual relationship as you are a romantic one. Which is no problem! Some people just aren't as sexually driven as others!
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Default Sep 15, 2015 at 10:33 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baleful View Post
About a year ago I started considering that I mat be asexual, but before I had always assumed I was straight.
I've never been in an intimate or sexual relationship and I'm just about out of high school, but I've also never exactly tried to get in one. Eventually I realized that I am still capable of "falling in love" with other people, all of which have been male, but I don't want a sexual relationship at the same time... It's really confusing. I suppose I only want an emotional/romantic relationship, you could say, but I don't think the same way about girls as I do about guys. I can still find guys attractive. I also think that I could be in a (minimally) sexual relationship in some cases and if it is absolutely with the right person if that is what they want. I did a little research on it, so would I be a heteroromantic graysexual?
I know a lot of people say that "labels" and such don't matter, but in the end I think I'm just curious and I can still always change to become whatever else, and I wanted to hear other peoples opinions. Please tell me any thoughts on this, thanks!
There is also a label of demisexual, which isn't the absolute absence of sexual interest so much as a lower sex drive with a higher interest in a romantic relationship. These tend to be people who have to be in love with a person before they are even capable of experiencing a sexual interest. I guess the term for that would be demi-heterosexual, but falls under the umbrella label of gray. Honestly, the what doesn't matter so much as long as you are comfortable with what you are. So long as you don't so attached to any one label that you find yourself being defined by that rather than your label being defined by yourself you should be fine.
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Default Sep 15, 2015 at 01:31 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Baleful View Post
About a year ago I started considering that I mat be asexual, but before I had always assumed I was straight.
I've never been in an intimate or sexual relationship and I'm just about out of high school, but I've also never exactly tried to get in one. Eventually I realized that I am still capable of "falling in love" with other people, all of which have been male, but I don't want a sexual relationship at the same time... It's really confusing. I suppose I only want an emotional/romantic relationship, you could say, but I don't think the same way about girls as I do about guys. I can still find guys attractive. I also think that I could be in a (minimally) sexual relationship in some cases and if it is absolutely with the right person if that is what they want. I did a little research on it, so would I be a heteroromantic graysexual?
I know a lot of people say that "labels" and such don't matter, but in the end I think I'm just curious and I can still always change to become whatever else, and I wanted to hear other peoples opinions. Please tell me any thoughts on this, thanks!
Bale you have your life ahead of you to make all the choices that you want and or need. If you want to be in a romantic relationship with no sexual involvement, make it known, and if it can't be respected that isn't the right person. Keep your options open, but keep them narrow to stay in perspective. I think it is admirable to have the identity and intent you do, especially in the era we are in. I see a lot of reckless abandonment, kind of like back in the 60's (listen all you old hippies out there, please don't slam me for that reference, I wish I would have grown up in that era myself). So stick it out and the right someone will come along and you never know may even sweep you off your feet. Stay real and keep true to yourself.
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