Psychologically castrated by a movie and castration fetish

Ok, so this is hard to do but I need to get something off my chest.

I'm in a twenty-something guy and a few years ago I ago I watched the movie "Teeth"in female company and my sex life has been ruined since. The humiliation involved in seeing women thrilled and amused by scenes of guys having their penises ripped off and emasculated horribly triggered and being teased about it by these women triggered an obviously latent castration anxiety that has really bothered me ever since.

I suppose what gets to me is the irony of male sexual "power" being so fragile and vulnerable - a woman can destroy that power with one quick bite or cut. Essentially, a man is at a woman's mercy when he is asserting sexual dominance. I'm inclined to think men (whether we think in these terms or not) derive a sense of power from being the one who ****s, the one who penetrates; women (not all, but many) derive a sense of power from the thought of being able to remove the so very vulnerable appendage that the male ego is utterly dependent upon. I mean, I imagine a "stud" whose identity is based on his sexual prowess and virility being rendered penis-less..there is a cruel irony there that a lot of women will naturally find amusing and, frankly, quite empowering.

Anyway, since watching that movie, I have not had penis-in-vagina sex. The thought that a woman may secretly be thinking of vagina dentata and amusing herself with the thought of rendering me less than a man and all the psychological torture that would entail is just...very disturbing to me.

And yet the idea turns me on. I presume my psyche has eroticized what disturbs it as a defense mechanism. I indulge in lengthy masturbation sessions imagining myself losing my manhood to a vengeful woman in the most utterly humiliating manner. I have various complex narratives that I play out in my mind - sort of directing my own movie in my mind - where I cast myself as the arch-villian, high on phallic power and using my penis as weapon to subjugate women. In this fantasy I am encouraged by my equally unsavory lover who witnesses my castration (to her horror), and tenderly nurses me when I am left a broken, emasculated wreck, trying in vain to convince me that I am no less of a man and stroking my shattered ego - a wicked, lustful couple consigned to such horror as a punishment for their misdeeds.

This is not a fetish - if I can call it that - which I am comfortable at all in sharing, and yet I can't get it out of my head. It's obviously not something that can be readily played out (I should add that I do not actually desire to be physically emasculated in reality!) and I would be too embarrassed to admit this to any woman in real life.

So, I am left with a wounded psyche, without a sex life and a persistent fantasy that most women would find totally insane and/or off-putting.

All this from watching a movie!

I know the obvious answer is to see a therapist (or a psychoanalyst - they would have a field day!) but I think just "unloading" all this is maybe going to offer some catharsis. I doubt I could reveal this in person to a professional.