signs of molestation??Please help.

I'm new here and didn't know where to turn. 7yrs ago my (17yr old at that time) daughter told me that her ex-step father molested her. I called child protective because I do have a daughter with him (age 7 at that time) whom he had visitation with. Child protective did their eval and said yes something happened but we can't say it was significant. In retaliation my ex took me to court for custody. I paid for a prof. (specialist) psych eval on my 17yr old. This confirmed abuse. The court ordered psych eval confirmed abuse on my 17yr old and told the courts to get a specialist involved. My ex had witnesses lie in court about me. The court granted custody to him with the understanding he and my 7yr old daughter each go to counseling and I have visitation every other weekend and Wednesdays. I don't know if he ever went but he stopped her counseling a yr later. Since then I have had 3 children with my current husband. My dilemma-over the past year my 2 youngest daughters have been doing weird things. My 6yr old will try to nurse my 3yr old son, the 6yr & 9yr old will touch each other's private parts. They say my 14yr old told them to do all this. I walked in on my 14yr old giving my 6yr old (naked) a massage. Last night my 14yr old said that she doesn't want to visit me anymore because I yell at her, won't buy her things and call her a liar. I will yell at her because when she is over she'll make the 6yr old cry just because it's fun. Then I spoke to her father (my ex) her started telling me that she goes home to him saying that 1 time my bedroom door was locked and that Sat nights booty nights, my 24yr old has her "nipples and crotch pierced" and her boyfriend has his thing pierced (he used different wording), her grandmother (almost 70yr old) was out to lunch with her boyfriend and my 14yr old and the grown ups were talking about grandma having crotch rott or infection and it must have been his aftershave. None of these things are true. I'm very concerned because in some way they are sexually related. My 14yr old won't say anything bad about her father, she thinks he can do no wrong. Even if she knows he did she will stick up for him. He tells her that she is the only one who loves him. I won't go to CP again because the 1st time they said there wasn't enough evidence and this was nonbiological and that the courts look at biological is different than nonbiological. How do I handle this? Are these signs? Do I back off and let her not visit. We're suppose to be going to disney for 2 weeks in less than a month. Do I take her with us or not? Please help.

not sure how I would handle that but I would make him take her back to counseling and call cps I think. she sure needs the counseling though even if you don't call cps

This sounds like a lot going on...Welcome to PC!

My brain got confused...Is the question to take the 14 year old with you to Disney? Yes-sounds reasonable. Is she living with you or ex?

There is a lot in your post - so maybe if we take one thing at a time. We can sort through this...

I know there's alot there. The 14yr old lives with her father. He took me to court for custody after I called CPS to investigate further. The court felt that I was trying to hinder their relationship because I called CPS. My ex claimed that I made a false report. There were 3 psych evals 1 from CPS saying yes something happened but not enough proof, 1 from a specialist Phd that I paid to have done saying yes he most definately violated my daughter, 1 from court order stating yes my daughter suffers from pdsd because my ex violated her and a specialist should be called in to further investigate. Also the court thought that if he really did molest my oldest daughter (nonbiological) then what are the chances of him molesting a biological child, and he was ordered to sex abuse counseling and she was ordered to continue counseling. I don't know if he ever went but he stopped her counseling a short time after receiving custody. This man is not wrapped to tight. I divorced him because I found a video tape of me & him having sex...he hid a video camera in his closet. It was 5 years after that that my oldest made a comment that hit me in the stomach.

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. I have to admit you have been through a lot with your EX and children. Your children sound effected by their environment and I feel that you should call someone in children services and keep a journal on what the children do when they are at your home for visitation. I feel that telling no one is dangerous not only for your children living with your Ex but your children living with you at this time. Can yor children receive counseling when they come to see you for visitation. Perhaps going to family counseling would help the children since you have a divided family at this time. I hope things turn out better for your family soon. Talking to a therapist can help at times when there is no other avenue to take to help you get the help you need with childrens services at this time. Take care of yourself. Soidhonia