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ilikecats
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Question Nov 24, 2015 at 07:31 AM
  #1
Lately I've been thinking I might be bi. I definitely like guys, and I think I might like girls. I don't have any romantic or sexual experience with guys or girls, so I don't really know for sure. How do people who are bi know that they are? And when did you realize it? I'm worried about telling people I'm bi, because what if later on I realize I'm not? I'd feel weird about telling everyone I'm bi, then being like wait nevermind, I'm not. Plus I feel like that would be bad for people who are bi, by encouraging the stereotype that bi people are just confused. I wouldn't want to do that, so I'm not going to tell anyone I'm bi until I know for sure. But how can I be sure?
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Englishjay61
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Default Nov 24, 2015 at 10:19 AM
  #2
The internet has plenty of images and sites that you can use to see what truly arouses you. If it is both men and women there is nothing wrong with that. Embrace who you are and who you want to be.
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Default Nov 24, 2015 at 12:46 PM
  #3
I would try to not get caught up in labels of what you are and what you are not. I don't think sexual preference is a black & white issue. Labels are hard to shake. Sexuality is very fluid, especially if you have no real experience in either half of the court. It could just be fantasy. You won't really know until you explore.

Some people can be open to bisexuality for years then decide they've just changed and no longer like same sex or opposite sex partners. Some people claim to be 100% straight! Then meet the right person and find themselves VERY confused at new feelings of attraction. This is very common for people who have lived in an environment with very strict religious beliefs. It doesn't necessarily mean you were wrong in the past. Just means you may have changed your preference or your understand.

AFAIAC, I tend to define true sexuality by who you could see spending the rest of your life with; not necessarily who you are having sex with.

Hope that helps. Good luck!
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Default Nov 25, 2015 at 08:20 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by bighands View Post
I would try to not get caught up in labels of what you are and what you are not. I don't think sexual preference is a black & white issue. Labels are hard to shake. Sexuality is very fluid, especially if you have no real experience in either half of the court. It could just be fantasy. You won't really know until you explore.

Some people can be open to bisexuality for years then decide they've just changed and no longer like same sex or opposite sex partners. Some people claim to be 100% straight! Then meet the right person and find themselves VERY confused at new feelings of attraction. This is very common for people who have lived in an environment with very strict religious beliefs. It doesn't necessarily mean you were wrong in the past. Just means you may have changed your preference or your understand.

AFAIAC, I tend to define true sexuality by who you could see spending the rest of your life with; not necessarily who you are having sex with.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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Default Nov 25, 2015 at 11:42 AM
  #5
Believe me, I too am all over the place. Sometimes I'm bisexual, sometimes I'm gay and sometimes I'm straight. It all depends on the situation, the conversation and the person I'm talking to.

I find it easier to just put out the facts about my feelings, my desires, my fantasies and my experiences...because my sexuality is made up of all this combined. It doesn't fit neatly into categories or labels, so the people I talk to can make up their own minds about a label that fits that doesn't have to align with my views.
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Thanks for this!
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ilikecats
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Default Nov 27, 2015 at 10:38 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Englishjay61
The internet has plenty of images and sites that you can use to see what truly arouses you.
Haha thank you for saying this, it made me laugh out loud

Quote:
Originally Posted by bighands
I would try to not get caught up in labels of what you are and what you are not. I don't think sexual preference is a black & white issue. Labels are hard to shake. Sexuality is very fluid, especially if you have no real experience in either half of the court. It could just be fantasy. You won't really know until you explore.
That's a good point, thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by bixkf
Believe me, I too am all over the place. Sometimes I'm bisexual, sometimes I'm gay and sometimes I'm straight. It all depends on the situation, the conversation and the person I'm talking to.
That's an interesting idea. Maybe I'll just say different things to different people and in different situations too.
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