[Englishjay61]

I am a man with a beautiful sexy wife and because I was sexually abused by my jerk brother as a young teen I find myself what I call "Gay Horny" from time to time. This means I like to look at male anatomy. Makes me feel ashamed of myself. If I can masturbate and relieve myself to these images online I return to normal again for a good period of time. Strange. Anyone understand this?

[Artchic528]

I am really saddened to hear that you associated your sexuality with not being "normal". There is nothing wrong with being the way you are. Think of sexuality as a scale. Totally straight on one end and totally gay on the other. You can be anywhere on this scale, depending on your preferences. I, for example, am somewhere in the middle with my preferences leaning both ways.

I feel the main conflict here is associating your sexuality with the abuse you suffered by your brother. Maybe seeking the help of a therapist specializing in sexual abuse is what you should do.

I understand your shame and I think a therapist is a good idea.

[Webgoji]

I agree that a therapist would be good to discuss what happened with your brother.

However, like Artchick said, sexuality isn't all or nothing and being "gay horny" from time to time isn't anything to be ashamed of. It's just part of that sliding scale of sexuality and part of what makes you a unique and important person.

Don't be ashamed of your feelings. The fact that you are in touch with them is good. You can work through them like you say you do. To ignore them would just cause more harm to everyone than good. You are doing something about it, and if it works for you don't knock it. All people entertain gay thoughts one time or another in their lives. It is a part of the human existence. Don't associate your sexuality with abuse or experiences of what happened to you. You lived beyond it so don't attach yourself to the past. Let it go and look at your gorgeous wife and ravage her... you will do fine. Blessings.

Jay, I concur enjoy, love yourself and care and love your wife. We are who we are, not what others say we are. Abuse of any kind sucks, my whole family screwed me up in some ways, physically, mentally and sexually; but I keep my eye on me. I have forgiven greatly, have forgotten as much as I can, and lived with no regrets.

[Permacultural]

Doesn't social research show that sexual preference exists more as a continuum, rather than as an either/or ?

Originally Posted by Permacultural

Doesn't social research show that sexual preference exists more as a continuum, rather than as an either/or ?

It certainly does. I am 80/20 straight. But when manic I become more bi.

[bixkf]

I agree with the majority of the contributors...you shouldn't feel ashamed your sexuality no matter of the source. I recognize that the origins of your sexuality may be based on sexual abuse, however once you have worked through any negative feeling related to the abuse, there is nothing wrong with accepting and enjoying homosexual-related activities. I can't speak for all women, but am very close to a woman who was raped as a teen, yet as an adult is still able to enjoy the pleasures of sexual intercourse.

I hope you can find a way to separate the two aspects...heal one and enjoy the other.

[Englishjay61]

Originally Posted by bixkf

I agree with the majority of the contributors...you shouldn't feel ashamed your sexuality no matter of the source. I recognize that the origins of your sexuality may be based on sexual abuse, however once you have worked through any negative feeling related to the abuse, there is nothing wrong with accepting and enjoying homosexual-related activities. I can't speak for all women, but am very close to a woman who was raped as a teen, yet as an adult is still able to enjoy the pleasures of sexual intercourse.

I hope you can find a way to separate the two aspects...heal one and enjoy the other.

There is nothing wrong with accepting and enjoying homosexual-related activities. Thank You. That line sums it up for me. Can I private message you? I need to ask you a question or two.

[bixkf]

Sure. PM me.