My mother just told me that homosexuality is linked to pedophilia.

I came out to my parents last October, and they were not accepting. Ever since, I've been a depressed wreck. I haven't been the same since that day. But this? She told me this and I broke down. I'm crying and I just need some kind words. I don't like feeling disgusting.

Please don't feel ashamed. It took an awful lot of courage to do what you did. Chances are, like so many people, your mother has come to believe what so many hateful, ignorant people have preached: that anyone who is gay is a pedophile. How awful! I bet your mother is not a hateful person. She is more likely confused. Afraid. In her own way, she is afraid for you. This comes for years, decades of hate spewed by people who claim to be good Christians. What bunk! I know of a guy, a big shot in the church business. Maybe you've heard of him. Pope Francis. Remember what he said? "Who am I to judge?" No, its not right for your mom to judge you. But be compassionate towards her. Don't judge her either. It may not always feel this way, but I'm sure she loves you. She may not ever change her mind. May not even change her mind that just as many gay people as straight would condemn anyone who would molest a child. Truth is, I bet an even higher percentage of gay folks would feel this way. Maybe all these haters should explain why they feel gays are all pedophiles, but see nothing wrong with teaching girls at an early age to always be subservient to males - setting alot them up for dangerous relationships. Phooey on them. I do hope your mom comes to learn the truth and to accept and love you for who you are. Believe it not, I've seen it happen. Alot. Best wishes. Know there are others who share your pain. And your hopes!

What she told you is just homophobic garbage. There's nothing disgusting about you. I hope you find the kind of love and support you deserve.

I'm sure there are some gay men who are pedophiles. I'm also sure there are MORE hetero men who are pedophiles.

Oh, and by the way, parents don't know everything. Learn to ignore what doesn't apply to you.

With pedophiles, it is more to do with power than anything. They get sexual satisfaction from dominating a small, defenseless child. It is, in my opinion, akin to those psychopathic murderers who get their jollies torturing unsuspecting victims. A person with a preference for those of the same sex is not causing any harm-so long as he doesn't go the way of, say, Jeffrey Dahmer. Like heterosexuals, they wish to make a romantic connection with someone they find attractive. I'm having difficulty understanding how she linked the two, as one is a sexual preference and the other is a psychiatric disorder. Then again, I've had many an argument with people who seem to think homosexuality is a choice. As though sexuality is like a pair of socks, which you can change as you please. "Hmm...I think I'll fancy women today. I can't wait to see if someone refuses me service or verbally harasses me on the street!" These are the same sort of people who will swear homosexuals aren't being discriminated against. I could go on for hours, but I shall put a stop to this before my post becomes too long.
Do not blame her, she is a victim of widespread ignorance.

To clarify: I understand that not all pedophiles molest children, and not all child molesters are pedophiles. Still, a pedophile is potentially harmful to the emotional and physical well-being of a child; homosexuals harm no one with their preferences. That is what I was attempting to communicate.

your mom is a part of a generation of homophobes. it's hard to undo a lifetime of thinking something so absurd is true and then unthink it.

that being said, you're her Child and there's no excuse.

can you find a support group to get you through this?

That's been pretty thoroughly debunked. The vast majority of pedophiles are "heterosexual" men but really they're starting to look at pedophilia as its own thing, because the people are exclusively attracted to children. So they're not heterosexual or homosexual, they're pedophiles. Make sense? Typically pedophiles (those that are attracted to pre-pubescent children) don't discriminate based on the gender of the child. All that being said, the vast majority of sex offenders are heterosexual males.

There is nothing wrong or abnormal with being homosexual, it's just that society is biased. If you are not attracted to children, you're not a pedophile. You can find tons of studies and material online if you'd like to print stuff out to show to your mother.

Believe me, I am offended by the implication that people truly believe that homosexuals are pedophiles. I know I do not fall in the norm for society...but as a gay man who is married to a woman and has two kids I find that anyone who would think that because I'm gay I could be a danger to my children is hurtful. My sexuality has no bearing on how protective and dedicated I am to my children.

These type of statements are spread by people who are unwilling to understand how lives can be different than their own.

Look into the works of Toby Johnson his works are very reassuring. And homosexuality is between two consenting adults where as pedophelia is related a number of mental disorders not related to sexuality. It has to a lot to do with power dynamics among other things.

Thanks to all who left kind remarks.

Boy has she got it wrong, or does she? I'd just chalk it up to personal opinion and ignorance, and not let her opinion affect me like she's probably hoping it would.

I'm so sorry about what your mom said. It's just so wrong. Cat