"Coming out" contradictions??

This probably will be lengthy and blabbing a lot but I'm looking for advice of any kind or support. So here I go. I'm 14 and I'm question my sexuality like most teenage girls do in this time (According to my mum). I think I'm bisexual. And I told her about it and she instantly got defensive and said, "well do you want a girls tounge down your throat or up you pu**y" and I said well honestly no. I'm not ready for any gender, male, or female to do that to me. I don't like it. Or the thought of it. Really... She's like "well that's what relationships lead too, and at your age I don't really want you dating anyone, if you date a girl, they'll label you gay and if you date a certain guy, they'll label you a *****.." Which meh, I suppose to some extent is true. But I mean, I think I like my best friend and tbh im not worried about labels. That's exactly what they are, labels, they don't define me.. But my mum thinks we're just best of friends and I've never had a friend as close as her so im thinking I'm "something im not". She says ,"I know you guys hold hands and say I love you, and cuddle, and hug, but me and you aunti p do too, it's because we're the best of friends and yea, we act like it, but the thought of her and I sexually is a absolute no". I'm so confused Bc I think I like her.. Let me put it this way, I love her as my best friend, I think I mayyyybe like her as a girlfriend.. She has told me she's bisexual and that she even was in love with me.. But I don't know if she contradicts herself like I do too?! Ugh, I'm so frustrated and confused, any insight would be more than appreciated! Thanks

Hi hon, I know that this time of your young life can be so confusing when it comes to sex and relationships. You are at an age where one begins to discover themselves, their likes and dislikes, preference, and also identity. There is no need to rush things because you have a long time to discover who you are, but you aren't wrong in how you feel.

It's real easy to get confused feelings about intimacy, like, and even love now since hormones have begun to start flowing. Even at a later age it can still be confusing. One will need to learn how to seperate sex from everything else from here on.

One thing that I can tell you sweety is that sex can ruin a relationship if not make it better. It can take away that special feeling that you have for someone, or magnify it: things won't ever be the same afterwards.

We can build up intense sexual feelings for someone to the point of fantasy, only to then discover afterwards that it wasn't all that, and then on to feeling foolish that our body tricked us into doing something that we'd never do. Sex is a powerful feeling that can change ones life, so please take care.

I wish you many years of safe exploration and discovery to finding out who you really are and to be happy.

Thanks! That's te thing, I plan on abstinence for my whole life. And your advice helped a lot, thank you

I don't think that most girls question their sexuality at that age or any age. However, I do think that at 14, you are too young to really know, especially given what you said.

I knew when I was 14.

Don't worry about what you are.

When you're attracted to someone, you'll know. Go for the person, not some guideline that suggests who you have to date.