Thoughts on pornography...?

From what I have read to date, a lot of you out there equate porn, both hard and soft core, in both magazines and films, has something evil and only watched by perverts or violent sex offenders to be avoided at all costs, I beg to differ,

You don’t have to be a violent person to watch porn, if you see something you would like to try and it’s with consenting adults, or even at home by yourself alone, then where’s the harm?

YOU chose the type of porn you watch,
YOU go out and purchase the films, books, magazines, imitation latex body parts, toys, pumps, Lycra, leather goods, pink fluffy handcuffs; ECT the list goes on…

All relating to your own and / or your partners sexual desires, not all of them are bad, sick or degrading, and not all of us are violent sexual predators that blame porn usage for our actions,

Why hasn’t a mainstream study, on the many different types of people that do watch porn, been done?

Why is it we start with violent sex offenders and work backwards when we talk about porn usage?

Its time to cut threw all the crap relating to porn use has I see it personally, and see it for what it really is, a form of escape, a sexual release, curiosity, experimentation, call it whatever you want, if it was not threw the things I have just mentioned, we would all still be doing it in the missionary position

I really hesitated in posting what I'm about to post. Its quite personal to share, but I really wanted to weigh in here.

I'm not a huge fan of the way sex is portrayed in porn films. Its just so rough, and it seems like the women aren't enjoying it. But....to each their own. And I admit, I watch it from time to time.

An ex left 2 porns at my apartment when we split and I still have them. I admit, sometimes I pop them in, when I'm by myself, just to get myself a little excited. I fast forward to the parts that aren't disgusting....the one's I have don't show violent sex.....one is a spoof of the Adam's family, and one is just a bunch of people having sex outdoors. Most of it doesn't appeal to me, namely the intercourse scenes. It just doesn't look appealing lol. But some of it is a little more sensual and those are the scenes I watch sometimes.

I also used to watch it every once and awhile with the ex, to spice things up a bit. He also had a Kama Sutra dvd that had actual couples demonstrating different positions. That one was good.

So thats where I'm at on a personal level with it. The other night on HBO, my boyfriend was flipping and we came across a show about porn stars getting ready for their annual Emmy awards. It was pretty crazy, watching the interviews with these people. They genuinly seemed to enjoy what they do....they even have a huge awards ceremony. The women talked about the "rules" they have. They all said they have a choice of who they work with and what they're willing to do. Now I'm sure these people are in the "higher end" movies. I'm sure there are a ton of porn companies out there who don't treat their employees well, just like in any industry. But in this case, all the actors and actresses really seemed to enjoy what they do, and take precautions and stuff. I'm sure a lot of them are simply in it for the money. Its a huge money making industry. Lots of people do crazy things for money.

I'm not getting in on the debate here, I'm just not much of a debator. But I wanted to share that I'm a normal 28 year old female who is not violent, was never abused, has never abused, never has thoughts of abusing, and I watch porn every now and again......

There are porn addicts just like there's addicts for just about anything, alcohol addicts, drug addicts, video game addicts, shopping addicts, internet addicts, the list goes on. I think its when the addiction comes in, that it becomes a problem.

My thoughts on pornography? I don't like most of it. But I do like the excitment it brings sometimes. Do I think its degrading of women and of men? Some of it yes. Do I think it could be made more tastefully? Yes. Do I think it will ever go away? Uh, no. Sex sells. Unfortunately there are shady porn makers just like there are shady people in every industry. Its hard to lump it all together as an entire industry being shady. In my opinion, I don't think the industry as a whole is shady.

Don't know why I felt the need to post on this, at first I really wasn't going to. Sexual behaviors is a very personal topic. But I discuss every other personal topic so why not this one as well.

Anyway, thats it.

Oh and a reminder for this thread, when replying, reply to user and add the trigger icon to each thread. The trigger icon can't be added in a quick reply.

That way, those who will be harmed by this thread will hopefully use their self protection tools and not read.

Thanks,

Rayna

From what I have read to date, a lot of you out there equate porn, both hard and soft core, in both magazines and films, has something evil //// if you are using the defination I clarified previously then yes

and only watched by perverts or violent sex offenders to be avoided at all costs, I beg to differ, /// As previous posted about me and my struggle ... I do not consider myself a pervert...but looking back I wish I would I would not been exposed to it...I know my situation is a bit different then the adult at age 18 decides to go watch porn...I do believe that watching anything makes you a bit numb...I also believe in the long run porn takes away from the intimate part of sex.

You don’t have to be a violent person to watch porn, //// this is true...porn watchers run through all the ages from 8 to 99 through all classes of people through everyone.

if you see something you would like to try and it’s with consenting adults, or even at home by yourself alone, then where’s the harm? /// on the surface one might think what is the harm...I still believe it makes a person numb to the real life experience...dig a little deeper and see where the money goes...how it is produced...

YOU chose the type of porn you watch,
YOU go out and purchase the films, books, magazines, imitation latex body parts, toys, pumps, Lycra, leather goods, pink fluffy handcuffs; ECT the list goes on… //// for most it is probably a choice...for some it may become an addiction...

All relating to your own and / or your partners sexual desires, not all of them are bad, sick or degrading, and not all of us are violent sexual predators that blame porn usage for our actions, /// agreed that those that watch porn come from all types and majority are not sexual predators...

Why hasn’t a mainstream study, on the many different types of people that do watch porn, been done? /// I would image most people keep in fairly private...not everyone would admit to it or want to be studied for it...

Why is it we start with violent sex offenders and work backwards when we talk about porn usage? /// not everyone does...that is not how I started my discussion in this thread...though I don't have any research...it is interesting that those who are sex offenders may have watched porn and those who take their lives may have had a mental illness. Can the reverse be said? Just because you watch porn will you be a sex offender? or just because you have mental illness you will take your life? I don't think it is an absolute connection there but there is definately something going on...

Its time to cut threw all the crap relating to porn use has I see it personally, and see it for what it really is, a form of escape, a sexual release, //// very true regarding an escape and release - I have used since I was eight...

curiosity, experimentation, call it whatever you want, if it was not threw the things I have just mentioned, we would all still be doing it in the missionary position /// I think that people before porn would have been fairly creative...you don't give them enough credit...

Rayna -

I wasn't going to post either because I couldn't quite figure out what I was going to say and then you said it! I agree with you totally.

I think this is just a very volatile subject for alot of people for personal reasons, you're either going to be totally against it or kinda on the fence/for it.

Thanks for your share!

Tranquility

you mean there is more than the missionary position?!!!!!!!!

Fayer im just talking about when i was young, it was mostly sailors and convicts who had tattoos. IM sure there are women who had them then and i know that in different times and different cultures, tattoos can and did/do have a plethora of meanings and symbolism. I was talking about Amurica in the last century.

It's interesting to see how many tangents this discussion has led to in various topics.
I think I may have started the subject of crime related to pornography in my mention of Ted Bundy and his proclamation that he had been addicted to porn, which (he said) led to his criminal acts. I think this was a ploy and excuse on his part as his execution neared. I would characterize him and others like him as a psychopath and sociopath, with or without pornography.

On a personal note, I have dated a couple of fellas who revealed their interest in pornography, be it strip bars, films, or in print. Some hid it, but I suspected it, only to have it confirmed. Their notions of intimacy and relationships in general were not good, and they were not nice men. At the time, upon learning of this preoccupation, I didn't object, just hung in there for awhile to get to know the person...Now I would view this as a big red flag and end it! And NO, I'm not a prude!
Patty

Okay...I just have to share this one...When I was still looking for potential dates online thru Match.com, I met this man who seemed pretty inarticulate, not expressing himself very well, but we met for dinner at a local restaurant. He was surprisingly interesting enough, suggesting interesting things we seemed to have in common, but I still wasn't comfortable and did a search of other singles' sites, finally bouncing into a site called "adult friend finders" where men display their erect penises and women their vaginas! There he was, stupidly showing his picture (not his genitals!) saying he wanted a "discreet sexual relationship!"...He continued to call a few times and I didn't answer the phone, finally emailing him that I had seen that he was on "adultfriendfinder.com," and that was a pornographic site, and not to contact me again. Who the hell would post their erect penis on the Internet!???
Patty

I hadn't really planned on becoming a part of this ongoing discussion. I haven't read all the posts either, but it appears that perhaps the negative side of the porn industry hasn't really been considered?

Sure, it's there for you to watch or not, but any involvement on someone's part of viewing creates the need for the film or pic to view..and therein lies a deeper issue. It isn't a nice, innocent, harmless business. There are plenty of documentaries out there to view, if one takes time, to see the seedy side and the horrible abuses it causes.

"Not to mention" the commandment to not covet or lust.

TC

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

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i know they are trying to publicise a 'friendly happy healthy' porn industry image with happy healthy models who are just THRILLED to be doing what they are doing..

let me ask a question, however...

what if that person you are looking at in that picture / video is only doing it because her child is sick and that is the only way she can afford money for her operation?

what if that person you are looking at in that picture / video was sexually abused and so started posing thinking that taking a little money in exchange was the most respect and power that one could obtain in life?

how do you know that isn't the situation of the person you are looking at?

since you don't know...

how can you get off on it?

i mean... doesn't this occur to people? the fact that there might have been coercion? if its okay to be a porn model then let me ask you:

- how would you feel about your mother being a porn model?
- how about your daughter?

why not?

and if those thoughts make you cringe slightly then that shows you how porn involves the viewer seeing the models as sexual objects rather than as persons (with their own needs and desires and preferences and hang-ups etc).

one is training ones body to feel sexually stimulated in response to an object.

i think that porn often is harmful to the people involved in the industry (models are often poorly treated DESPITE the image that the industry attempts to convey). society also has a negative view of people who participate in the industry (the majority of people wouldn't like it if their mother or sister or daughter participated in it). the majority of people wouldn't want their mother or sister or daughter or wife to participate in the industry because they think it would characterise them as 'sluts' and that other people would view them with disrespect.

this is to say nothing of the children who are sold into the industry and people who are literally forced to participate in it who are obviously incredibly harmed by the existence of the industry.

i think that porn often is harmful to the viewer because it encourages the viewer to have a sexual response to objects rather than persons and because it often encourages the viewer to have a sexual response to violent themes. people who have that pathological tendency already get to indulge / encourage it. people who don't initially have that tendency often train their bodies such that they do develop that tendency. at the very least it encourages a person to view sex as an activity where one does what one wants to an object. the majority of porn is male centered and involves disregarding the very things that females take most pleasure in (foreplay etc).

Coming from my past exeriences I hate the porn industry. As a child I was in what I can only describe as an amateur child porn ring. It was small town, and privately shot videos shared among "friends", but I still don't know where any of those videos or pictures are. They could be plastered all over the internet for all I know.

Because of my past I have a hatred for the entire porn industry. Do I think everyone who watches porn is bad? No. But I don't like it, and would never want to watch it or be around someone who is watching it.

I don't however have problems with tasteful nudity or sexual inuendo in movies, tv, etc. I think the country I live in has made the human body out to be something that is bad and wrong, and I don't think that is right. I think that making sex and nudity out to be something that is bad kind of helps the porn industry in a way. It is bad so it is exciting for people to watch.

This is a really hard subject for me to enter, but I kind of wanted to chime in.

I also read recently that Australia is considering banning porn and alcohol from the Aborigine communities. I haven't really researched this topic at all yet, but apparently they think that banning porn and alcohol will help stop the rampant child sexual abuse that is present.

Heres an article that talks about.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapc....ap/index.html

touching post, Gemstone. could put a different tone to the discussion. love, pat

I don't particularly like it, usually actually find it kinda silly. I have no problem about other people, even my bf, watching it, but if I have kids, I wouldn't let it come into the house...

I don't think a tv show or a game can ever make anyone do bad stuff to people by itself, however it can certainly suggest ideas and expand tendencies existing in the people....

And there's no doubt people are exploited making it..... I think that's why, on the very rare occaisons my bf gets it, he gets the "big name" movies where the actors (supposedly at least) choose who thet work with and what they do...

> I also read recently that Australia is considering banning porn and alcohol from the Aborigine communities. I haven't really researched this topic at all yet, but apparently they think that banning porn and alcohol will help stop the rampant child sexual abuse that is present.

yeah...

don't get me wrong, i do have a problem with pornography and alchohol abuse and also with sexual abuse but...

i don't agree with their being different (more restrictive) laws in aboriginal communities than in the rest of australia.

in particular... if those people were given comperable quality of education, employment opportunities, and the right to report crimes and have the police follow up on the reports and actually take action to convict people for offenses i think that would be more likely to turn things around.

at present the educational system for them sucks.
the job prospects for them in their community sucks.
the police presence sucks. crimes often go unreported because the police don't convict offenders. instead... people take things into their own hands (tit for tat, basically).
the aborigine people have suffered many years of racism and hostility.
their suffering has been ignored.
the harms that have been done to them by settlers (both intentional harm and unintentional harm) has been ignored.

the government offers them stuff with strings attached (we will give you xxx amount of dollars in exchange for you signing your land over to us etc etc) and when they reject the governments claim people say things like 'they don't want our handouts' and 'we tried to help them but they wouldn't accept it' to excuse themselves from responsibility.

the aborigine people have very little rights in australia (some communities have more restrictive laws than the rest of australia). the aboriginie people have little imput from the government with respect to health, education, welfare, employment opportunities. the government leaves them to fend for themselves then all of a sudden gets indignant at what they are up to and threatens to take things away from them that are considered human rights in other states (e.g., the right to welfare and the right to watch pornography).

but then i'm a kiwi...

we have the treaty of waitangi (treaty between european settlers and the maori indigenous people) as our founding document. we are considered the world leaders in indigenous relations. i don't mean to gloat with that... one looks at the situation in new zealand... all the problems that we are having with indigenous relations and one thinks 'holy hell we are supposed to be the best in the world with this? look at all the problems that we are having!' but i guess the point is... the treaty of waitangi means that we have a legally binding obligation to try and put things right. we have a legally binding obligation to try. the aborigine... their suffering is ignored for the most part and the attempts to try and put things right... come with strings which would be considered human rights violations / unfair bargains except for the fact that... they are offered to the aborigine...

sigh.

I think I agree with you alex. It seems racist to ban it for the aborigines only. It seems if there was a ban it should really apply to everyone, and I don't think that is feasible.

I really know very little about the aborigine culture. I have only read a few things about it, and they were mostly relating to the child abuse problem.

It seems there would be other ways to solve the issues they have.

I do admit I don't like the idea of welfare money being used for alcohol and porn (in Austrailia or any other country), but I don't really know how you could get around people using the money for those things. I think it is a good idea to tie welfare payments to children's school attendance. It seems like education could help at least the future generations.

Thanks Pat.

I guess everyone would have a different perspective on this issue based on past experiences. I guess my perspective would be a lot different than most.

i sure had a "start" when i read about Australia..........just the aborigines? i guess the others don't need any help...

education, healthcare, etc. would go a long way towards improving the lot of the aborigines........

> Australia has one of the most inclusive and affordable health systems in the world. However, the health status of and access to primary health care services by Australia's Indigenous people remains worse than any other sector of Australian society.

So it isn't about singling them out for 'special favours' its about providing them access to services that the rest of Australians have access to.

> For example, in 2001 93 per cent of discrete Indigenous communities had access to electricity compared to 89 per cent of those communities in 1999. In addition, there was a decrease in overflows or leakages from sewerage systems between 1999 (59% of communities with a population of 50 or more) and 2001 (48%). In 2001, 5% of the usual population of discrete Indigenous communities were living in temporary dwellings. This is a decrease from 7% in 1999.

> Nevertheless, the Australian Government acknowledges that there is still much to be done. In many remote and rural indigenous communities housing and related infrastructure are grossly inadequate.

They certainly aren't conditions that non-indigenous people live in in Australia. Not singling them out for special treatment, once more, just trying to advocate that they get their basic needs met similarly to how other Australians are getting their basic needs met.

(reference
http://www.dfat.gov.au/facts/indg_education.html

> Also, leaders of the Mutitjulu community in central Australia say there is no need for military occupation. In a statement, the community says the Howard Government declared an emergency at the local health clinic more than two years ago. It says since then, Mutitjulu has been without a doctor, has had health and youth programs cut and the council has been sacked.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2...25/1961522.htm

And so they talk of sending in the military and police to deal with sexual abuse in a place where there is no doctor and where there have been cut-backs to health and youth programs. Banning alchohol and pornography has got to cost the Howard government less than providing doctors etc to be sure...

> The Tasmanian Aboriginal Centre's legal advisor, Michael Mansell, wants the Prime Minister to re-think his response to problems in the Northern Territory. He says by calling in additional police and military personnel John Howard has portrayed Aboriginal people in the Territory as evil. Mr Mansell says the decision is likely to do more harm than good.

> "I can see the old stolen generations behaviour all over again, where Aboriginal people are going to run into the bush with their children to hide them away from these authorities coming in in Landrovers and a whole stream of cars," Mr Mansell said.

[Has anybody seen the movie "rabbit proof fence"? It is a very realistic portrayal of the above situation where children who they thought could pass as 'white' were taken from their parents and placed in orphanages because it was thought they would be better off being raised as unwanted white citizens than with their families. This situation HAS NOT BEEN FORGOTTEN by people who stay well away from the life of the cities]

> "People are just going to be in fear of the very people John Howard's sending in to save them." Meanwhile, Tasmania's Community Development Minister Michelle O'Byrne says there has not been any discussion with states about the plan and she is not convinced it will address health and education concerns.

> But Liberal Senator Richard Colbeck says the Commonwealth has acted swiftly and taken the lead on the issue and the states should be offering help with resources and not bickering about the level of consultation. "My concern would be that the whole thing would have been watered down," Senator Colebeck said. "We would have spent weeks or months talking about what should be happening and it's not just about law and order," he said.

> "It's about attendance at school, it's about health checks for children, it's about removal of pornography from those communities, it's about dealing with the alcohol problems.''

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2...25/1961108.htm

> The Australian General Practice Network (AGPN) says the Government has to be careful it does not create another Stolen Generation as a controversial crackdown on Aboriginal child abuse gets underway in the Northern Territory.

> Federal Indigenous Affairs Minister Mal Brough is meeting senior government bureaucrats in Sydney today to discuss how to implement the Government's reforms, which include compulsory health checks for all Aboriginal children.

> AGPN spokesman Tony Hobbs says the Commonwealth faces a challenge trying to get health professionals for its plan and will need to deploy doctors with an understanding of Indigenous culture.

> Dr Hobbs says the Government must avoid creating another Stolen Generation, and warns that preventing abuse involves a broad range of factors. "There are very broad socio-economic factors at work here," he said.

> "Certainly housing, access to fresh water, access to a variety of fresh foodstuffs, employment - all those [are] really important things which are important in determining social and health outcomes."

> Prime Minister John Howard's reforms also include the banning of pornography, conditional welfare payments, a ban on alcohol and the end of the permit system for entry into local communities.