 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 130
8 80 hugs
given |
Feb 27, 2016 at 03:19 PM
#1
I have a problem relaxing around others in any situation. Even with someone nice who I am interested in being with, I can not relax enough to enjoy sex.
It has been many years and I gave up trying a long time ago. I think it is called vaginumis when relaxing for intercourse becomes impossible to accomplish. I go totally stiff and rigid and I can't make it go away until he "gets out" of me. I just don't like it and I can't enjoy it. I thought it would self correct if I just stopped worrying but that has not happened. I tried it drunk and I tried it sober and I failed both ways. I just avoid it now and that makes me feel like I am defective. __________________  
|
|
 Reply With Quote
|
 growlycat, wiretwister
|
|
Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Utah, USA
Posts: 251
12 23 hugs
given |
Mar 01, 2016 at 06:21 AM
#2
I'm so sorry, this must be incredibly difficult. Unfortunately I don't have any advice because I'm inexperienced but I'm terrified that I won't be able to relax for it either. I'm a guy but I've always suffered from bad anxiety and social phobia. I think part of the reason I've never gotten close to having sex with anyone is that I'm so afraid I won't be able to perform.
I'm just wondering, do you have trouble with anxiety in general? __________________ If only real life could be as beautiful as fiction... Diagnosis: Social Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, possible Autism Spectrum Disorder |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
 WhatDayIsItAgain
|
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 130
8 80 hugs
given |
Mar 01, 2016 at 12:02 PM
#3
Quote:
__________________
|
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| OneInBillions
|
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Dec 18, 2016 at 05:07 PM
#4
There are some vaginal dilators (just dildos that are come in different sizes -- xs, small, medium, large) that you can use to over come this problem. These dilators are used daily where you practice inserting them. Eventually you get used to the feeling and also your vaginal floor muscles (which play a role in vaginumis) get used to it.
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Therapy Ninja
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
Posts: 10,308
17 16.1k hugs
given 
|
Dec 18, 2016 at 05:43 PM
#5
I think I have this problem too. Not sure if toys would fix this as I personally do just fine solo but with a partner I feel fearful, suffocated etc. I see a therapist and just started to talk about this. I'm not sure what the answer is yet
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
we are one
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Ky , USA
Posts: 3,015
11 1,338 hugs
given
|
Dec 18, 2016 at 08:01 PM
#6
I would love to hear any background you could provide ... such as moral background (church .. others around you ... ) ... physical (maybe abuse ... known or not) ... your comfort level with others in a non sexual nature ... if this is outside your comfort zone I understand completely ...
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Member
Member Since Dec 2016
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 334
7 179 hugs
given |
Dec 27, 2016 at 02:59 AM
#7
Defective is a strong word but I too felt that way and still do. It is so easy to get into that mindset and even harder to get out of it. I don’t know how it is with you but I have always been good with foreplay once I got to the point where I felt like I was ready to be physical with someone but I just can’t seal the deal if you know what I mean. I freak out and can’t go all the way through it which led to being called a tease and not in a good way. I even thought along the lines that it might just be that I am homosexual and that was the reason but I couldn’t even enjoy that for the same reason.
Haven’t tried in over two years but I hope that I can get over it or get help for it in the future, (always been an area that I am very uncomfortable with talking about with a professional), I hope that you can work through it but no pressure. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
