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Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 34
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May 31, 2016 at 04:51 PM
#1
I have to ask "Why?"
I'm in a heterosexual relationship of 12 years. Suddenly, my boyfriend wants to have sex with a lot of other women. He hasn't done so, yet, but I wondering "why", this has started happening all of the sudden? He wants to have sex with my 90 yr. old woman, friend. I said "No, Way!". Now he is talking about having sex with an old friend, and wants to get something going (again), with her, but she lives 2000 miles away. He constantly is masturbating, using the excuse that he needs to go lay down, as he isn't feeling well, or just needs some rest. We live in a 5th wheel, so I can feel it when he is "jerking" the trailer, so to speak. I have made it clear that I do "NOT", want anyone else intruding into our relationship, yet he is continuing to pressure me. This may be a "relationship" breaker, for me. What do ya'll think? Thanks,   
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Supreme Artisan
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 6,618
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May 31, 2016 at 07:44 PM
#2
It sounds to me like he has a sex addiction. You might want to suggest he seek counseling for that.
__________________  MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!! [UPDATED: 4/30/2017] LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!! |
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Grand Poohbah
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Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
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Jun 01, 2016 at 12:56 AM
#3
Is this just recent? Maybe it's a slump or midlife crisis thing? But regardless it's not right of him to try and push an open relationship on u esp if u have been manogomeous for 12yrs! Idk. Have u tried to bring up couples counseling? If he's having a desire for flavor he is expressing as other women (which IMO is def crass toward u), but he could be boarishly confusing his need to spice things up w/ talking about other types of women instead of relizing that he just wants some fantasy which u could probably satisfy if u r comfortable w/ some role playing. If it not any of these things or he does,want some fantasies that you can't or r not comfortable with n if he's not willing to talk about it in or out of counseling...then he maybe has decided he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. Anyway u slice it...even if he is hinting at ending things.. He has no right to talk to u n treat u like that! 12yrs!! I think you have earned a bit more RESPECT! But Idk ur relationship, so I can't honestly say where all that is coming from. Try to talk it out first, I guess.
__________________ "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" Last edited by Lost_in_the_woods; Jun 01, 2016 at 12:59 AM.. Reason: auto..... |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 34
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Jun 01, 2016 at 05:13 PM
#4
Thanks, Lost in the Woods, I agree with you, 100%. He IS disrespecting me, totallly!
He is 76 yrs old for heavens sake. One day, when we were having Maturbatory type sex, he kept masturbating for like 3 hours afterwords. I couldn't believe it! I was "disgusted" to say the least. I really don't want to continue our sexual relationship, at this point. I'm 62, much younger, and this is putting a HUGE strain on me. You see, I have Multiple Sclerosis with depression/anxiety with severe vaginal dryness from a hysterectomy when I was 26. I know that I should "move-on" with me life, but I stay with him for financial reasons, ONLY! Thanks for your thoughts. 
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 Lost_in_the_woods
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Member
Member Since Dec 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 34
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Jun 01, 2016 at 05:17 PM
#5
Why me???
Thanks Artchic528. Yes, I do think he has some type of "sex addiction", or psychological problem with sex. The more I think about this, the more I want to excape from the whole situation. The funny thing is, that my ex-husband, had a sex addiction (too), and this is really freaking me out! My ex was turning to young males....Now this? I will talk this out with my therapist next month. Many thanks for your thoughts. |
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Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
Posts: 1,625
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Jun 02, 2016 at 12:25 AM
#6
I hear ya. Its not as simple as just move on.. i know. Hope you can figure something out tho.. its not fair for u to have to live like that.. idk if maybe ur eligable for housing and i dont really kno much about it but i kno some places you can file for finacial support like,alimony under common law.. its worth checking... hope something works out n be extra good to urself in the meantime.
__________________ "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" |
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
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Jun 02, 2016 at 12:35 AM
#7
I am really sorry to hear this. Definitely talk to your therapist and maybe try some sort of couples counseling.
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