Crazy thoughts

From 6 months i am getting crazy stupid thoughts that all the girls are trans genders. I don't know why i am getting these stupid thoughts. Due to that i am less attracted to girls now. Even that is effecting my sex life with girls. I am a straight guy and always attracted to girls and had a great sex life and had urge for sex all the time which isn't now. I want to get married to a gorgeous girl and stay happy with my wife and kids. But these crazy thoughts are killing me. Some one please tell me how can i get out of this.

Hard to say without knowing your dx. Could be mania, anxiety, depression, cultural sways and an unrealistic image or expectations of what you look for in women. Can you expand on this?

Hello Kalyan91: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

We here on PC are not in a position to diagnose you. This is something that must be done by a mental health professional. My lay perspective would be that perhaps this is sort-of an obsessive-compulsive sort of thought process... an unwanted thought that just keeps coming back over-&-over again. It's not unlike an "ear worm"... a song that maddeningly just keeps playing over-&-over in your head. I would presume you've had this experience. I know I certainly have!

There is a lot of stuff in the news lately with regard to persons who are transgender what with all of the flap over the use of public restrooms, locker rooms, etc. For some reason the idea of girls you see being transgender has apparently lodged itself in your brain & simply won't leave! Who knows why these things happen?

My experience has been that trying to force these sorts of things out of your mind only makes them keep coming back stronger than ever. Personally I practice a Buddhist discipline called: "compassionate abiding". When unwanted thoughts come up, I allow them to be there, I lean into them (pay attention to them, focus on them... lightly), I smile to them, & breathe into them. Sometimes I will chuckle to myself at the thought of them. I may even place my hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. They are like misshapen little trolls. But they have no power over me beyond what I cede them. After a few seconds I then drop the story line (in this case the one about how all of the girls you see may be trans...) & then I simply stay with the underlying emotion... whatever it is... anxiety, fear, confusion, etc. & allow it to fade away of it's own accord.

Two things happen as a result of this practice. One is that, over time, these sorts of unwanted thoughts tend to fade. But, second & perhaps of more significance is that we learn we can stay with difficult, unwanted thoughts & emotions without being knocked off balance. We can maintain our equanimity despite whatever challenges life throws at us. This is a most valuable lesson to learn & your current struggle with the unwanted thoughts you describe constitutes an excellent opportunity to start practicing. Perhaps you could even welcome it as a teacher! Wouldn't that be a novel way to approach it? I wish you well...

Hi and to PC!
Odd thoughts, that start suddenly but dont go away and are confusing to your known reality should not be ignored. If you dont already have a T and or Pdoc, you should really find one, a profession would be able to help you figure out best where,and why these thoughts are occuring... sooner is best too because invasive thoughts can sometimes take root deeply if unattended and cause further confusion and distress. Keep writing here for support as well! Hope everything resolves easily

Hello and welcome to PC!

I would think that you are now having these concerns about transgenders because it has been a big issue in the media lately. You might be thinking 'what if they look exactly like females and I can't tell the difference?'

Chances are, the females are females, and you can usually tell when to question. If you feel like you need to question someone about being female, do it very gently. You can be honest and say you have this awkward fear and that they shouldn't take it personally.

If they are transgender, I'm sure they'll tell you.