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Crowned "The Good Witch"
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,536
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#1
I feel like I'm too old to be questioning my sexuality. I'm 23 years old I don't feel like I fit into straight or LGBT. I'm not bisexual, pansexual, asexual, demisexual, genderfluid, etc etc I don't feel like any orientation fits me, but I feel like I'm too old not to know what I am. -_-
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Wild Coyote, Yours_Truly
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
Oh dear... the Skeezyks is 67... & he's still struggling with his gender identity...
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,943
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#3
I do not think that 23 is too old for having questions about one's identity.
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Poohbah
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Brokedown Palace
Posts: 1,625
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#4
First off, myself @ 23... i was a hot mess! I was all over the map. Trying this that and everything else and was still pretty much clueless about the basics. Those were some crazy embarrasing confusing yrs... aye yiy yiy!! Secondly, you are never to old! Every day that dawns, every interaction, step, street, decision is an opportunity to find and learn something new. If we are open to considering whatever is presented to us, heck we can change our opinions daily! I think what you are feeling is not an identity crisis nessecarily, but a desire for a true lasting connection maybe? The notion of feeling "too old" is a very loaded concept that is forced on us at a young age then repetively throughout our lives.It is an outside opinion that is based on someone elses views about time. It is really an awful negative shaming tool, that even the best parents employ without really realizing the underlying msg it sends. At one/two: you are getting too old for a bottle or breast..time to learn to use a cup. 3/4:you are getting to old for diapers. Diapers are for babies, you sre a big b/g..
..time to potty train. 5/6: you are getting too old to be picked up, dressed, bathed, running into mum and dads bed everytime you have a nightmare....time to start to learn the basics of how to care for yourself....and on and on etc etc... Do you see the flaw? "Too old" was never based on our needs but someone elses! Heck, most likely there was never even a speck of consideration for how you felt and if you infact were even ready to give up or be "too old" for these things! People are not machines! We all develop and grow at our own pace, but society is all about systematic punctuality..... so to seperate the simple useful compliant drones to keep it all tick tick ticking along, they created "developmental benchmarks to weed out all the possible "troublemakers" who would muck up the works with our own ideas about who we are and how and we want to do things. Shame on any of us for knowing ourselves! ...."time is an illusion; Lunchtime doubly so."- Ford Prefect __________________ "The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" |
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LiteraryLark, Trippin2.0, Wild Coyote, Yours_Truly
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Member
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: germany
Posts: 159
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#5
I think it's totally valid to say "this categories don't fit me"
I'm all for labels if they help you, but I don't think anyone should feel forced to fit into one. And like everyone said: you're never to old to learn something about yourself. Even your sexuality/gender identity |
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Lost_in_the_woods, Wild Coyote
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,130
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#6
I'm 22 and have continued to question my sexuality and gender identity. I doubt either are actually anything unusual, but the thoughts have crossed my mind.
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Wild Coyote
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Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 339
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#7
So, nearly 40 over here and just now getting around to beginning to start trying to figure it out. So, you're alright. If it's now or later, if you feel attracted to this kind of person now or no one now, or someone different later, that's all okay. People change. Everything about us changes. We grow with our experiences.
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
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#8
Quote:
I am sure you've heard the phrase: "Gender is fluid." It's never "too late" to question gender identity, sexual preference, etc. It's entirely possible for our perceptions, experiences, beliefs and knowledge to change and for us to continue open to the fluidity. While not everyone allows this fluidity, some welcome fluidity and "roll with it." I know of many senior citizens struggling with sexual preference and gender issues. Hope this helps in some small way. My Best to You, WC |
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Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
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#9
Why do you feel the need to label yourself?
You are a unique individual, and you don't need to conform to labels made by others, or to change yourself to fit one of those labels. Be attracted to the people you are attracted to, experiment in the areas you want to experiment with, enjoy what makes you feel good. Just be YOU! __________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
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