exhibitionism and fantasies

I am a 50 year old female (fit and slender) and I am fantasizing more and more about exposing my breasts (and possibly other parts) to unmarried adult males around my age. I think about this very frequently, especially when I am driving.

I have never acted on this until very recently. When I am on long car trips and am far away from home, I have exposed my breasts a few times (partially and fully) as I slowly pass a few truckers (only if no other vehicles are around). I have a fantasy that a trucker motions for me to pull over and we have sex. Another fantasy I have it that I go to the movies wearing a provocative outfit and meet a stranger and he fondles my breasts and fingers me throughout the entire movie and then we go our separate ways, anonymously.

Between my separation and divorce, I have not had sex for 5 and 1/2 years. I definitely do not want to have a relationship with anyone right now. But my fantasies are increasing and I am horny much more often and am masturbating several times a day, fantasizing. I think I am really craving sex.

Is it ever okay to have casual sexual encounters? And if so, is there a safe way to do so? I do not want to have anyone come to my home (I have had several stalkers in the past), but I am leery about going to a stranger's home or meeting at a hotel as well. Should I just resign myself to fantasizing and self-pleasuring until I am ready to be in a relationship?

Any advice would be very welcomed! Thanks!

Hello highnrg1: You know... the Skeezyks is a solitary old goat. So I don't know a lot about this sort of thing. I also struggle with my share of anxiety, fear & paranoia. So my perspective is skewed to say the least.

Having said that, though, I would have to caution that it is a dangerous world out there. I don't think there's anything morally wrong about casual sexual hook-ups. But your question is apropos. Is there a safe way to do it? Personally I doubt there is (This includes exposing yourself to truckers you pass during car trips.)

From my perspective, it's sort-of like flying. Most people who fly get to their destinations safely. But a few also go down in flames. So, from that perspective, the question becomes, are casual hook-ups worth the risk that you may be one of the ones who go down in flames? Only you know the answer to that question. I wish you well...

Skeezyks…that is a good perspective. Thank you. I think intellectually I knew that answer, even before I posed the question, but maybe I just needed that confirmation/reality check?
I am really struggling with the high level of arousal I am experiencing so frequently lately. In some ways I find it so enjoyable and exhilarating, but in other ways, my urges just don't seem to be consumed lately and as that is happening, my fantasizes and desires seem to be escalating and my resistance and ability to think logically and not act impulsively seems to be lowering. But it is helpful to have people to remind you to be safe. That is my most important goal.

If you want to hook up with someone, a safe way to do it might be by meeting them once or twice first in a public place, like Starbucks or something. Then when you meet privately, tell a friend or someone where you're going and at what time. Give your friend the other person's name and phone number. And tell the friend that you'll call or text them by a certain time, and if they don't receive it, then to call the cops or somebody.

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Several things have happened that really helped… SkeezyKS helped by reminding me to keep my safety in mind and I really needed that feedback, so I am very grateful. Then, I was escalating a little and random chatting and I do not think to was a coincidence that the young man I ended up chatting with was my son's age. I am very strict about that…if one is of the age that there's even a remote possibility that I could be his mom, well… I just can't be interested. That is just MY hangup for me (My dad is with someone my older sister's age and one of my good friends is married to someone twenty years her junior and neither of those situations bother me at all for them).

Anyway. This poor young man was doing everything in his power to try to convince me to have a "more than friendly" chat with him and send pics etc.

At a certain point, it clicked, because I sent him a message that REALLY was exactly what I needed to hear: "You have to decide what you are looking for. Do you just want to talk to someone online and turn it into something that it's not for a moment of pleasure or do you think you might be seeking something more…a real connection with a real person?" BAM! I am not sure if that was the advice he needed at all, but as soon as I typed it, I knew it was the EXACT advice I needed. Funny how things sometimes work that way.

I have had no sex with anyone for over five years. I have kept myself safe that entire time. Why would I jeopardize that for the fantasies I am having right now? Don't get me wrong, I am still enjoying the fantasizing part. But… I know I have the strength right now not to act on it, because I am not in a place where I am able to handle any of it right now in a safe way.

Another thing that happened was I made my long ride home a few days ago and wore just regular clothing and did just fine driving home bringing no attention to myself whatsoever. Still had some fun fantasy thoughts on the trip and got plenty of looks and waves from truckers. Some guy even waited around for me by his car at a rest stop and asked me where I was headed and if I was on a schedule or had a little time. I truthfully told him I WAS on a schedule and that I was flattered (and I WAS), but I knew…at least for now…that fantasy is just that. And I need to think about where I might want to go in REALITY in the future...

I am just glad that I feel much more in control again and that I am back on track with handling this for now. I am pretty sure it will be an ongoing thing for me…always has been. Not sure what tomorrow holds, but today, I'm feeling pretty good about how things are.

Thanks to those who have been helping. I greatly appreciate it!

Good thing that you can separate your fantasies from reality. I hope you're doing well, and if you feel you need some moral support in the future, we are always here to offer some.

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Well, I am recovering (not well) from my surgeries. I am experiencing several challenges and am very uncomfortable most of the time after my surgeries, so in some ways this is good, because my preoccupation with these things has dramatically decreased. Thanks for the support and encouragement. I am hoping to have energy and that I can turn a corner soon and feel better. It's a journey, to be sure.