My son is pansexual?

I made a point to raise my son to be respectful of people's differences. His god mother is a lesbian and I never wanted him to grow up like the idiots who look down on the LBGT community. Well, one day he casually mentioned he was Pansexual. I was surprised because we were literally at his first high school back to school night, standing in front of the LBGT alliance desk while he considered if he wanted to sign up. When he nonchalantly said "I'm pansexual". I was very surprised, only because that was the first time he ever mentioned his sexuality other then his love for girls. Also, I had to ask him what it was. And what did it mean for him. I still don't quite understand, but then again I don't feel I need to fully understand it to support him (Am I wrong for that?). I don't see him any different and other then that conversation we haven't talked about it. Nothing has changed in our relationship. He's still the same to me, but I do find myself wondering if this is a real thing to him. He isn't very social, has gotten bullied a lot, and people don't get his personality, so they tend to be annoyed by him. So he spends a lot of time on the internet. I'm wondering if maybe he's doing it to be accepted or if it's something he really knows about himself. I also feel bad for thinking this way, because who am I to question his thoughts and feelings. I feel like those old school parents who thought their child being gay was a phase. My plans are to just support him in whatever he does, whoever he is, but I would like some advice on what I can do to support him from other pansexuals, and to see if I can get a better understanding of what it means. So far, I'm under the impression that it means he's attracted to everything. And if he's not had any experience, then how does he really know? He has never even had a consistent friend, let alone a significant other. I knew I was straight from experimentation. Not into girls, love boys. My best friend... same. Experimented.... loves girls, not into boys. Again, I feel so hypocritical for this slight doubt of his sexuality, so any advice is appreciated.

Don't feel bad, you sound very accepting. I think of pansexuality as being attracted to people, regardless of their gender. Men, women, transgender people, etc. I don't think a person has to have experience to know whom they're attracted to. I'm bisexual, but I've never been with a woman yet. But I know I'm attracted to women. If you want to understand more and learn how to support your son, you could ask him about it more and let him know you're there for him.

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My daughter is pansexual. We've supported her choices. We knew at 13 that she was. It doesn't bother us; as long as they treat her well we're supportive.

Just tell him to live and love who he loves and be attracted to who he's attracted to. The world would be so much better if everyone just did that and didn't make it more complicated than it has to be.

Is there any sexual orientation he could claim to have that you wouldn't doubt? Like, if he mentioned being straight, would that have surprised you, because you think he should be undecided?

Although I'm asexual myself, I'd almost consider pansexual the "default" sexual orientation--it's what you get when you do feel sexual attraction but don't have any particular genders excluded from this attraction as a rule. So if a person actually would need to experiment to know their attraction level to different groups, and they haven't done that experimentation yet, what reason is there to think they aren't pansexual?

Besides, it's a pretty blurry distinction between sex/gender-based biological attraction and all the other reasons a person might desire, enjoy, consider, dislike, or refuse having sex with any other particular person. Half the time the difference between someone who is heterosexual/homosexual versus someone who is pansexual might just be that the pansexual person is not committed to [insert non-preferred gender] being a dealbreaker for potential relationships. (And how many people of a given gender do you have to evaluate before you can be confident you'll never be attracted to anyone of that gender? I have to admit, I have trouble wrapping my brain around monosexuality.)

I think the way you handled it is great! Very supportive. What a great mom.

I think kids like to experiment as do adults & now this generation & will the next, is so open in their sexuality. 10yrs ago I had no idea what a pansexual was, but now more are becoming comfortable discussing sexuality.

My niece in HS changed her sexual identity 3 times on Facebook. Ugh what a mess, but I know some worry about what they label themselves & if they don't have a label, well there must be something wrong with them!
Geez they have a lifetime to figure that stuff out. What's the rush?
So support goes a long way & just being accepting of whatever they wanto label themselves.

As far as questioning whether that's really his sexuality, how he knows, etc... I wouldn't question it. Even if by chance he does find that another sexuality fits him best in the future, it's for him to figure out. Multisexual (bi, pan, etc.) people already tend to face doubt and questioning from others, so I think it'd be best just to believe he knows himself best. As far as what it means, people tend to define it different ways. I was actually around his age when I realized it was the label that worked best/felt most right to me and didn't have much experience either, and it still hasn't changed (at 23).
I think you've got it exactly right when you say that you don't need to fully understand it to support him.

IMO, a pansexual does not differentiate between male and females. They're attracted to the personality, or the person, rather.

Whereas, a bisexual would say they are attracted to men and women.

Good for you for supporting him. You said that you and your best friend figured out what you were from experimentation. Well, if he's never had a significant other, it sounds like he's in that phase too and will be refining himself as he grows. Sexuality is fluid. So, what he labels himself today may not be what he finally accepts himself as when he matures.

And just so you're not confused when he brings someone around or starts talking about liking "Sarah" or "Steve", remember that pansexual can also include those that consider themselves as non-binary gender. They are not defined by the terms boy or girl and can look like a boy but have the anatomy of a girl, or vice versa. So, as long as you stick to loving him and those that treat him well, and keep talking to him about it all, you will be fine. You're already better off than a lot of others because you asking the right questions.

Good luck!

You sound like a very supportive mom who loves her son. So don't feel bad about not understanding his orientation. I'm a girl who likes girls. No Ive never been with a girl or guy, but I still have feelings for women. I don't have to experiment to know I like girls because I just do. I believe pansexuals are attracted to anyone, regardless of sex or gender identity. When he is ready, he'll talk to you more about it because like I said before you sound like a really loving and supportive mom, so I'm sure he'll come to you and talk about this with you.