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Member
Member Since May 2005
Location: Maine, USA
Posts: 242
19 |
Aug 19, 2007 at 02:49 AM
#1
Being raped at 13 by my basically stepbrother, he contacted me the other day on instant messenger saying I hope it's ok to say hi. Not sure how to deal with this. My mom says I should move on like almost like forget it happened and still think she doesnt believe that it was rape vs sex. But anyway I ignored the message from him.... what is normal or whatever like common reaction to this: like any suggestions like what u would do if u were me?
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 322
17 |
Aug 19, 2007 at 03:20 AM
#2
Well if you want to heal the relationship, then that's your choice. If not, that's totally understandable. What was done to you is something that you never have to forgive or forget. If you don't want to talk to him, then don't.. don't let people make you feel bad for it. If it were me, personally, I would just block him and keep all contact cut off from him.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2006
Posts: 492
17 |
Aug 19, 2007 at 03:23 AM
#3
If I were you, which I'm not, I'd ask MYSELF, not my mother, how I (bold lettered I) feel about this. Do I feel the need to talk about the incident with him? How do I feel about myself as a result of the incident? Do I trust him? Do I want to be emotionally close to him? What sort of boundaries do I want there to be between us? It's up to me to ensure those boundaries are enforced. Do I feel hurt? angry? mixed feelings?
Take an emotional inventory and see where you want this relationship to go, whether you want a relationship with him at all, and how much of a relationship you want with him. What it would take for you to have the kind of relationship you desire to have with him? Take gentle care, |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
18 1 hugs
given 
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Aug 19, 2007 at 05:13 AM
#4
<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>
May PeAcE be with You - as you decide what you need to do to enable you to move forward with this decision and with your own life. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2007
Location: england
Posts: 941
17
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Aug 19, 2007 at 10:40 AM
#5
do YOU want to talk to him? do you want to have anything to do with him? you dont have to, noone is telling u what to do. dont do what u think ure supposed to do, do what u r comfortable doing.
take care self __________________ i miss you...  'cuz the drugs dont work, they just make you worse, but i, know ill see your face again...' 'welcome friends. i am potato.' 
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: AZ
Posts: 8,663
19
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Aug 19, 2007 at 11:27 AM
#6
(I edited the subject line in all posts to be a little less triggery, so if ya'll see that your post was edited, thats why. Thanks, Rayna)
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