Write Or Wrong

I do not apologize for the pun. I will however, apologize if this gets to be too long. I’ll try to shorten it but honestly there’s a hundred thousand details I could get into so I’m going to try to stick to what’s most important.

I am a male in my lower 30s. I discovered my fetish around the age of eight. I know this because it happened shortly after I watched an undisclosed movie for the first time. My fetish is vore. Specifically, I like to fantasize plump women getting graphically and horrifically eaten by just about anything. Animals, monsters, redneck cannibals, zombies, etc. I don’t act this out. Never thought about it, never want to think about it, never will think about it. Or do it.

But what do I like to do? Write about it. Ever since I was a teen I liked writing weird scenarios about some woman I knew who was fat being eaten. But ever since I started writing these I’ve had issues with doing so. I started off feeling bad that what I found sexy in a woman, most would loathe about themselves. The other issue is that I’m so nice that I felt bad writing about any woman without their knowledge. I sometimes almost feel like I’m sexually abusing them. (Now, I have done so without their knowledge on occasion, one with an actual friend of mine, but they don’t know. Why I don’t particularly feel bad about this, I don’t know.)

Now you might think, why not just make someone up? I don’t know; I try that and I just don’t come up with the creative scenarios I do when I’m basing this on an actual person. And I’m about to make this even more confusing in that I have several plump female friends. They know my fetish, and they’d have no problem if I wrote about them being eaten for my own personal entertainment. And I’ve done so with a few of them.

But sometimes I’ll find (and sometimes even look for) chubby women online such as YouTube or other places and I’ll think of stories I could write of them. But I don’t even though I want to because, again, I feel like I’ll be sexually abusing them or that it will somehow be morally wrong. So either I don’t do it or I might (through alternate screennames or an email account that isn’t obviously me) ask. And yes I’ve even gotten some replies that they’re cool with it.

But do I even need permission? Am I just way overthinking this and that it is indeed okay? Should I just embrace what I am and type away? It’s not like I’m posting these. (God no…) I’m tempted to just write these without asking or without anyone knowing. Maybe I’ll feel more confident in myself and less bad?

Or would that be a bad thing? Let me know. Hell sometimes I feel like coming clean with my high school crush…

Oh, and one last note: can I get anyone to agree that Zara’s death in Jurassic World was the most awesome death in the series?

Hello Solrock: Well... the Skeezyks is no expert with regard to fetishes. However, I have struggled with my own similar sorts of issues & I've read quite a few posts & replies regarding fetishes over the time I've been here on PC. (This is my second time here, actually.) So, anyway, with that overview as background, what I can offer with regard to your post is, first of all, thoughts are just thoughts... nothing more. (I like to think of intrusive thoughts as being little trolls come to irritate us.)

In an effort to allay my own intrusive thoughts, I employ a Buddhist practice called "compassionate abiding". This involves simply allowing the intrusive thought to come forward... breathing into it... perhaps even smiling to it. Sometimes I will even place my hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for it. After a few breaths, I then drop the "story line" & simply continue to stay with the underlying emotion... be it fear, anxiety, grief or whatever.

Two things happen when we employ this practice. First, very gradually over time, the strength & frequency of intrusive thoughts wanes. But second, & perhaps more important, is that we learn we can stay with difficult thoughts & emotions without losing our balance... our equanimity. By the way, here is a link to a mental health oriented description of the practice of compassionate abiding:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

That said, no I don't believe you need permission to write the scenarios you write. Every creative writer writes from their personal experience. Friends & family members invariably end up in their stories in one way or another. So, from that perspective, yes, perhaps you are overthinking this a bit, although it is certainly respectful of you to consider how the subjects of your writings might feel about becoming the subject of one of your scenarios. (If you don't already, you could perhaps give the subjects of your writings fictitious names so you know that if anyone else ever happened to read these, the real subjects would not be exposed.)

One of the understandings I have come to, as a result of reading the fetish-related posts & replies I've read here on PC, is that true fetishes can be extremely difficult to get rid of, or "cure". The consensus of opinion seems to be that the way to handle them is simply to find ways to indulge them safely (& legally). The other thing that occurs to me is that it is the anguish... the feelings of guilt & shame people often have regarding their fetishes that is what is of real concern. So my thinking here would be that as long as you're cool with the scenarios you're writing... write on! Who knows... perhaps this is the start of a career as a creative writer! But if you find you are dogged by guilt over this, then consider seeking the services of a therapist with whom you can explore your feelings. I wish you well...

P.S. I never saw Jurassic Park.

Interesting perspective, thanks.

I don't have a need or want to rid myself of my fetish, no do I feel they're intrusive. When I first had this fetish I did wonder, "Oh dear, what will my future girlfriend/wife think?"

I still occasionally ask myself this. But as far as how I personally feel about my fetish, I'm perfectly fine with it. And like it. I have no desire to "cure" myself or get rid of it. I feel no shame at least not for the fetish itself. I did used to feel down that physical features that I like in women are the same features that the media shuns and that a lot of women hate about themselves. It makes me question whether or not I'll ever find someone chubby and cute (and doesn't think I'm some weirdo with my fetish).

I am starting to feel I'm overthinking this, and will probably ask my counselor about this in terms of writing (though I don't feel guilt). Thanks.

In the field of writing I think you have artistic license in your given genre. So I would say write away!

If you're thinking about publishing, then you might wanto think how revealing you are with this character to the public.
Amazon books & the fetish market is extremely hot right now. Seriously!

Do you wanto publish?
If you're writing for your own pleasure....then I don't see the problem. Yeah you might be over thinking this a bit.
My bdsm partner has written stories based on our scenes & I found it very flattering.

I think it's great and totally harmless. I've always said there's someone for everyone. As long as you aren't really hurting anyone, I think your fetish is fine. I enjoyed envisioning a chubby woman being eaten alive by a redneck cannibal. I imagined it done like a corny, tacky low-budget film.

Nobody is judgy here.

Shoot...you can publish your stories of erotica under an alias....you can connect a whole genre. I'd write write write.

One of my best friends has a tickle fetish. She never talked about it all our years growing up. She finally confided in me a few years ago (in our 40's). She felt like it was the most taboo thing in the world. Of course, she physically likes to do it, unlike you who only write and imagine yours.

She found a forum for others with the same fetish where she writes her heart out. They gave her an award!

You seem like you'd be a good writer. If you get brave, post one on here, but add the Trigger warning.

Also, I found a writer's group for screenplays. There was this guy that wrote the most violent works you could ever imagine. We were all scared of him killing us all. But he was a really good writer and his screenplays were actually good, although they would never actually be produced.

I'm glad since I was worried I was being TOO open. XD

Ooh, I don't think I'll ever dare to do that. I'm paranoid that my writing style will somehow be recognizable (even on completely different subjects) under usernames on other places online! It is tempting though. :P