public bathrooms & panicky heart

Hello all! Have any of guys ever dealt with this before, and how did you calm yourself? It was around 8 years ago or so, I was at the movies, a now out of business theater, had to pee, so I start to a urinal - these types have no barriers - and this little boy comes in after me. He got the urinal right next to me... and since I was already there I thought it would be stranger to move down a few.

Anyhow, I hear from next to me 'hey... what's that?'... and not even thinking about his question, I continue to pee after my bladder unfroze. The kid goes & washes hands, then I hear as soon as he gets out the door, he announces to God, his mom, & the whole lobby 'hey mom, there's a man in the bathroom with skin all over the end of his thing!!!'..... and all of a sudden like a ton of bricks, it hit me.... he'd obviously never seen a foreskin before in his life. After this, I tried to go back & watch whatever movie was playing, but I couldn't. Instead of coming to where I was sitting and calmly asking me what the deal was back there - looking back, I guess we were all freaked out - this kid and his mom just appeared to be talking to each other and looking my way in back of the theater.

Now, granted, as if the bathroom wasn't awkward enough... well, the crazy looks just freaked me the hell out... I literally could not stay for the picture..... literally felt like I was going to hurl. So I left.

Have any men here experienced anything similar, and how did you deal/calm down your beating heart? I think back and say 'well, you couldn't really have explained the difference to the kid in the bathroom... make it more awkward'... I guess my takeaway from this is that I hope and wish more parents would explain these types of differences to their kids, so that those of us with foreskin wouldn't feel so.... ostracized.

And in a similar vein, a few years back I worked at a head start for migrant workers' kids. I studied Spanish back in college - even got my degree in it - and so that came in very handy. The kids loved me, and I adored working with the kids. My first day didn't seem like it would go that great. I went in, and one of the women asks a supervisor (I'm paraphrasing): 'so... how are we going to handle the boys and bathroom help, since y'know... he's a guy' *she proceeds to nod toward me*. I thought 'well, this is just lovely... here I have barely opened my mouth....' - but, that was sorted out quick and I was helping the boys when they needed it.

I used to not think I would make a good parent, but this experience helped show me otherwise. Once, when one of the boys needed to go, we're in the bathroom & he doesn't reach to aim or... anything, really. Well, not knowing the Spanish for 'you have to hold the hose, dude!' or similar, and not about to.... go that far... I just let him be... and of course he ended up needing a change of clothes. Once dry clothes were in hand, as I'm helping him undress, he caught my eye once, and wow... the look of love in his eyes.... indescribable. Anyhow, I'm wiping him up, and I just instinctively knew, y'know, at that age, to not skin him back. When I think back on it, that instinct just blows me away, since I don't remember being that age, foreskin related and otherwise.

But the one thing I notice, as I would even start toward his thighs to clean him up, my heart absolutely pounded... literally I was asking God to not keel over here on the floor while helping this kid. Even though I know it was just part of the job, I remember thinking 'dear lord.... all it would take is for one of the women to see me helping this kid & something be said & misconstrued and I'd be up the creek without a paddle'.

Really, the kids were what made the job worthwhile... as adults generally tend to do, they just sucked and treated me like.... well, excuse my French, but like the bastard child of that head start center.

Sorry this post has been super long, but again, any takeaways, preferably from guys, in either of these situations and how you dealt with them, would be much appreciated!

Hello z3r0d4wn: Thank you for sharing these experiences. I'm sorry I don't really have any similar experiences I can share. But I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.