Anything sexual is a trigger..

I dont know why this keeps happening to me and I can't really pinpoint a specific time it started to happen.. but i get incredibly upset by seeing or reading anything sexual.
An example would be, a sex scene on a movie. It makes me feel upset, angry and disgusted. Then my thoughts refer to my partner who, right now we are in the midst of maybe breaking up.. i feel like i cant trust him, feelings of him cheating in the past and so on.. and then I feel i should just end things.
If i hear men talk about women, usually 'locker room talk' it makes my stomach turn. It makes me want to cry.

It seems to be really strong lately, almost bursting into tears when seeing or hearing anything sexual involving a man!

I was a part of another relationship forum, hearing the way the men spoke about women on that website made me so so sad. I just want to give up on men all together.. the way men talk, seem to be that they can not be faithful. And even if physically they are faithful, not emotionally and in their mind. I had to un follow the forum because it upset me so much seeing it.

I don't understand why I feel this way, it's starting to get worse and i cannot block out anything sexual. It's impossible!!
I can have sex with my partner with no issues.. its just seeing it elsewhere is a trigger.

Any ideas or advice? I have a therapist, but I feel inappropriate bringing something like this up.

I'm greatly struggling with sexual triggers myself. I guess my triggers are a bit different than yours but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

Therapy is an option, but I know in my case, I don't know if therapy can do much more than it already has. I know the skills, I know I need to use my skills, I know I need to be around safe people....now I just need to do it.

Hugs. (I'm female, so I hope that's ok...I don't want to trigger you if you don't want hugs.)

Thank you for the kind words.. its nice to know im not alone! I don't understand why I feel this way. It comes on so suddenly and strongly, that it's unbearable and the tears immediately well up in my eyes.
Iv never told anyone about it and not sure how to deal with it, except turn off whatever I see and try to ignore it.

I know you are in a very stressful situation. It might be effecting your sex life more than you realize as well. Last year, when things were improving between my husband and I, I found myself feeling more tenderly toward him during sex and it was so much better. We had been having OK sex for years (on a few ocassions I felt pressured) and the falling out of love was so gradual that I did not remember how the good kind of sex felt. Unlike at the beginning of our marriage, the sex was OK but yet it really wasn't. I remember you saying in another post that sometimes you have had sex with him because you felt sort of pressured. That's not quality sex and when you do that you can end up feeling sort of revolted by it all....
Of course, it is always good to stay away from movies and websites that aren't positive.....<<hugs>>
PS--It can be awkward to talk about these things to a therapist the first time but after that, it will seem quite normal; I recommend it.

I feel like I should add that the times I felt pressured is old history. It was back when my H was having a lot of pressure at work and was mostly because he was drinking way to much. He quit drinking completely a while back (5 years ago?). That has made a world of difference.

I just wanted you to know that I relate slightly. Plus, I recall that your H currently has a drug and drinking problem. Do I recall correctly? When people are unhappy, under stress and drunk, they act very selfish sometimes including in bed. If your husband has a drinking problem and gets angry, etc.--it can sometimes result in anger within ourselves that effects us in negative ways. Again, therapy might help. So would either leaving your H or your H making some changes within himself. You cannot change him. He has to want to change....

Thank you Hoping, for all the advice and kind words! Yes, me and my husband have major problems going on still. I too lack the closeness during sex with my husband... we still have sex regularly but it's always so one sided. I don't feel emotionally ready to put my full intimacy into the act. He has hurt me and continues to hurt me with his blatantly hurtful behaviour and lack of empathy.
I was cheated on in every one of my previous relationships and it's a huge fear of mine. I have that fear with my husband now, plus reasons to believe he has been unfaithful in the past.. but im not sure that is just my anxiety talking.

Seeing anything sexual on TV or reading about it, makes me so very sad I feel that is all my husband wants from me .. or any man for that matter.
I found out about my husbands colourful past after we had our first baby and my views of him being different from past men in my life, him being a respectful man were all shattered.
This is the only thing I can think of that has triggered these horrible feelings!!

It is a tough situation to be in, you are right. Just when I try to put my faith into our relationship and put my fears aside and give it my 100%, he knocks me back down and i get anxious about it all over again.

I hope to find some end to this nightmare soon. It seems to be taking a long time to settle and resolve.

How long since you had your baby?

All I can say is, WOW! Finally someone like me!! I recently discovered the proper term for myself is "heteroromantic asexual". Sex is a BIG trigger for me and usually it's not worth it! When it's over, I always want to climb in a hot shower, hug my knees, rock back and forth and think about where my life went so wrong...

I've struggled with this A LOT lately. Feels like I don't belong anywhere. All this hoopla about LGBTQI rights, which is great but... Where do I fit in?? Someday I'd like a relationship with a man but, if I never had sex again I'd be thrilled! I can't handle the sights, sounds, smells, all of it. Anything that reminds me of a creepy porno is an instant trigger. I've decided I just don't need sex, and any man who can't understand that (or keeps pressuring me) is just not worth it!!! I'm so tired of men thinking that their genitalia is going to magically cure me. I'm not that naive anymore, I don't buy into all that.

Anyway, nothing useful to contribute. Just thought I'd say: You are not alone!!! Keep your head up, okay?

My son is 9 months old now. I'm being treated for pp depression at the minute.. but its not the act of sex that triggers me. Iv had sex with my partner and have been since about 6 weeks pp with no issues. I seem to just get these feelings when I see it on TV, or raunchy pics of men and women.. maybe it is the change of my body since having children that makes me feel conscious of my body and embarrassed and ashamed? I'm not sure...

Oddly I can have sex comfortably and it's not ME in the act itself that really triggers me.
It's just seeing sex or anything sexual that gives me really odd, sad feelings. I could burst into tears just seeing a sex scene on a movie.. or feeling suddenly outraged. I don't really understand it...