kinks and talking about sex face to face...

I have a voyeur kind of kink. Mostly I really get off on the whole idea of sex being the opposite of behind closed doors and private. I've never done anything purposefully voyeuristic in my entire life. However, I find watching group sex, and sex in public settings where one is supposed to "not" have it to be really hot. Especially when a voyeur joins in.

The thing is, this kink of mine can be a double edged sword because not everyone is open to that sort of thing. There are also laws and whatnot about public sex and "indecent" exposure. I could probably really get into some serious trouble with this kind of kink. That and I tend to be very introverted with my sexual feelings out of feeling really disgusted and whatnot. I know I need to work on my sexual confidence, but that's pretty darn tricky.

I know everyone has a kink of some sort and kinks are natural, and sex is natural and I shouldn't feel disgusted, but being raised by a mother trying to please her devoutly and oppressively catholic mother by raising me in the same way kind of ingrained the whole "disgusted by sex" feeling as second nature.

I like talking about these sorts of things on the internet, but face to face, I feel like so guilty and ashamed when I start talking and initiating anything, so I immediately clam back up.

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

I have done a few things like this just because there are some people I just like to please. I guess that in my youth I always wanted to seem "game for anything" and "unafraid of anything" (more recently, even when I attempted--the last thing I said to myself is I AM brave enough to do this--this kind of thinking--doing things to prove I'm not afraid of anything--is definitely a problem for me); however, during the acts, I felt to anxious to be truly turned on and was relieved when my partner came. Sometimes it did earn me a lot of "brownie points" but it sure would not have been worth it if I got arrested or something. Looking back though, if we had been called out, back then (the 80s), I bet they would have blamed the guy!

As kids, we had no where to go. Parks, roof tops of hotels, golf courses, the beach at night. I came home a lot with sand in my underwear and grass stains! Loved it. Kinda loved the idea that others may have seen us, too. Even loved the danger of getting caught. Loved the fresh air and exposure. I am so lucky I didn't end up dead.

Once, my h and I went to a sex club where we watched other people doing it. I felt like a creep. Didn't like that at all. We had a fight there. That was awful.

If you are into doing that, approach new bf's with it after the relationship is solid. I think most guys love a little kink and variety, too. They'd be thrilled you're a little bit freaky. But not too freaky, or it scares them off.

One of my college friends felt just like this...she would always convince me to go to Mexico for Spring break week, tubing rivers, etc. and sometimes foursomes happened only because of my drinking problem. Sometimes I did enjoy when I was drunk enough. (but sometimes I didn't feel that great about later--then she would convince me to go out with her again!)

Yeah, I once fell into a foursome. My bf and I, another guy (who I always liked) and this gorgeous girl with big boobs. The two guys pounced on the girl and no one touched me!!!

Once again, you get me talking--this happened in college but there is a phrase in the military that goes "what goes on when on TDY (temporary duty/when in training) stays there (is never spoken of in your regular assignment)" --well I definitely felt that way about Mexico on Spring Break but she would encourage the relationship to continue when we returned to the US!

Why not visiting a swinger club? I'm pretty sure you will find some likeminded souls there

Spots, this is really not the real "me" it was me getting carried away in my youth because I drank way to much the first day during Spring Break. Though we hung out with those guys during rest of the week (they were actually nice but were also drunk--that was their story anyways--I did not know what to think and wondered what they must think about me). And everyone suggested a "do-over" partly because it made me a a bit embarrassed--though I tried to laugh it off. My friend wouldn't even admit the truth until we got home--that she was going along with their request for a repeat just to tease me. So, with this friend, I should have just said foursome not foursomes!

Oh, and I like to get Tisha going (she seems to love hearing about this stuff) then I say to much. So Artchic, if you want to get involved in these things but are shy--find a partner in crime who will egg you on! (But be careful about being safe--I am also lucky that something really bad didn't happen to me.)

Actually, I'm a rather jealous person when it comes to my lovers. In other words, I don't want to share them with anyone. It's strange, given my kink. I want them to only give attention to me, I guess because I feel threatened by anyone else coming into the relationship. Insecurity I guess.

MY BLOG IS NOW CONVENIENTLY LOCATED HERE!!
[UPDATED: 4/30/2017]

LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!

I once came close to fooling around with two guys. It was pretty hot, nothing happened with them and me, but I think they turned gay for each other that night.

I really do love hearing and sharing about this stuff. IDK know why.

Makes sense.

I have thought about this (whether or not to deliberately do this), it is not pure emotional jealousy that prevented it, more like the analytical question, What if I don't like the consequences?

When I was very pregnant my then husband wanted to have sex in a field of beautiful wild flowers. I said no because at that point I didn't want to have sex anywhere as I felt like a fat cow. Other than that outdoor sex (as a teen and then later as an adult) was always fun and frankly I never cared about who saw us. On the beach actually not very comfortable because of the sand. Group sex...just ew. But I am pretty traditional about one-on-one hetero sex.

Imho if you're interested in perusing this kink then you have to study why you get jealous.
I think the word I'm looking for is compersion. Sorry if it's not spelled correctly.