Am I Bi? Gay?

I'm a 24 year old straight male, I've had sex with over a dozen women, but I've always felt a little.. Bi? I experimented with my (still) best friend when I was like 12, like every other kid, and we even went as far as to try **** (no lube involved) needless to say it didn't go very far and that was the only sexual contact we've had, and that means for my entire life with any male.

Come back to the present and I've been in a long distance relationship with the same woman since August, and I feel happy and comfortable in this relationship. I talk to her every day, I live in Alberta, she's in Ontario, in the last 6 months we've seen each other for at least 3 of them and I loved it.

Now I've never been sexually attracted to a man to the point that I've wanted to even hold their hand, yet alone anything beyond that, you could even go as far as to say I may be even a little bit homophobic in that I get like, pissed off? disgusted? when I see 2 men be intimate. Yet I often find myself thinking about how attractive a man is when I'm browsing YouTube, and I have thoughts run through my mind that they're nerdy and cute and all this stuff. I've always told my exes that I'm like 40% gay as a joke and it usually gets a laugh, I also always tell people I'm comfortable with my sexuality so I'm not afraid to be expressive like this.

Now my question, could it be possible I may have a gay/bi side of me that I'm just repressing, and when I see 2 men together maybe it's just that I'm subconsciously trying to hold that back and deny it so I get grossed out? Or is this a normal thing? Would this be something I can "come out" with friends, family or even my girlfriend?

Hello Nfscarbon07: Well... I don't really know the answers to your questions. My personal thought is that most of us probably have some sexual orientation tendencies in both directions... presumably some more than others. My thinking would be that the experiences you describe don't necessarily mean you're gay or bi or anything else. They just mean you're human.

I would suspect your reaction to seeing two men be intimate is as much acculturation as anything. Would what you are experiencing be something you can "come out" about with friends, family or your gf? I don't know. I think this is something you have to judge for yourself. Depending on the extent to which all of this is of concern to you, perhaps talking it through with a therapist would be beneficial.

I'm an old man. But I've struggled, in secret, all of my life with gender identity issues. There came a point a few years ago where I finally decided to open the closet door just a crack. What I found was that no one really wanted to hear it. They just wanted to pretend I never mentioned it & to have everything go on as it always had... which is what I did. However I couldn't (& still can't) forget the fact that I opened the door. And, as a result, I've just ended up feeling exposed & foolish. So having had that experience my recommendation has to be to be careful.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Hi, just wanted to say, relax for a minute and read this.
No, I dont think that you are bi, or gay at all. I have had the same kind of feeling you get, don,t worry so much. If you are comfortable about your sexuality then do what you feel. Many men have felt the same way you do, just refuse that they have thought about it and keep it secret.

I think what you feel is perfectly normal and may want to just try to experiment with a man. Thats ok, as long as you are comfortable with it. There is nothing wrong with what your feeling!
Like i said, Ive feel this same way and have been with a man a few times and I felt the same way you dod. It was a fun Learing experiance for me, I was always curious.

If anything I would say your bi-curiuos at best, and thats ok. I am a straight male like you and love women. But I had to try it and it was awesome. Completly different feeling. Do what you feel you are comfortable with and maybe try it. Besides your not hurting anyone

In light of who to tell, If your relationship with your girlfriend is pretty secure, than I mey mention it to her only. It is really no one elses buisness anyway.