[faded]

This is kind of a strange and embarassing question for me....but I'm hoping someone has some input for me...

well, I'm 20 years old and have never been in a relationship before. Which I believed was by choice. In the past few months I've found myself getting close to a guy and we've been seeing each other and I finally let him kiss me for the first time this past weekend.

I was so scared and nervous about just kissing him, and things went a little further. We didn't do anything serious but I was still so afraid of him kissing me, every time he touched me, it almost felt painful. A few times he even pointed out that I was shaking a lot.

I was a little upset with him even because he had the intention of going all the way, which to me, was completely unacceptable. What did happen was already overwhelming anyway.

I couldn't relax and it was just really frustrating. - I wonder if this could all be related to the time I was sexually assaulted by a teacher when I was 12. I always thought I got over it - but this experience makes me wonder.

I don't like talking about my feelings and I hate the thought of being "emotionally slutty". So I never talk to people about my "issues".

Would it have been approriate for me to have told him that I was really scared? Or is that just strange? Should I tell him next time if/when it happens again.

I know thats a lot, but thank you for reading this....I'm just really confused.

[youOme]

I'd definitely mention that your nervous and you'd appreciate time and patience. I think once you've really really gotten comfortable with this guy you will kiss him no problem, it just all very new. If he cannot wait for you, then let him go. I wouldn't mention the issue till, again, I was very comfortable with him and felt I knew him enough to trust my secret. You'll know when the time is right for both. Don't get to nervous, just expect patience and respect in that aspect.