How to bring it up in therapy?

I posted this in another thread but just now saw this one and figured it's best to ask here

Ok...well I am a 35 yr old virgin who has also never kissed a guy or been on a date etc. I didn't think it bothered me until I asked this a few other places and I started to realize how much it really does

You see, I was raised by a Narssacist mom and was never "allowed" male friends growing up and was always told that only "trashy people have sex before marriage" and I was always threatened she would "beat my ***" if she found out I had done anything, needless to say, this fear haunted me and lead me to never do anything. I don't even have a male friend. Any males I've hung out with in the past, she questioned like crazy....

I am really unsure of how to bring this up in therapy and not because I am really embarrassed but more because I have such shame over this. I SHOULD be more ahead in life, most of my peers have at least gone on a date.

I also made the stupid mistake of telling a "friend" and now when I see her at game nights, she makes jokes about it in front of everyone. It drives me crazy and makes me feel like a loser. So many people know this about me and I never told them.

I think because in therapy we are talking about my mom issues and friend issues, this is relevant. I just don't know how to say it without feeling so awful about myself Any help?

A note which you give to T maybe? Shove it at her and say you're too ashamed to read it aloud - I've done that with my T.

Maybe print up your post and hand it to her? You expressed yourself pretty well in that post.

Just be direct. I had occasion one time to be on a staffing project with medical records and I read them. We had to for the job to put them on a computer. HONESTLY.. it was shocking. Just of what I read about 30% were virgins. Many others were listed as not sexually active in over 5 years. Some of those were married.

I am sure this is not the shocking thing you might think it is especially with a therapist. I am sure they will say something like what can I do for you or what brings you here and just be matter of fact about it. Like if you were at the doctor because your stomach hurt.

All the best suggestions have been given here. I remember as a child I found it difficult to tell my mum some things so I would write them down in a form of a letter and sometimes add the conclusions I had come to. This way she knew I had thought about the problem and wanted to solve it.

Mum would read the letter and a few hours later she would take me aside to talk about it and any ideas she had about the problem. It was such a relief to write it all down (never mind the spelling etc) and my m um, like your therapist was never judgemental.

Good luck x